...I'm not. Spent the morning helping out in the garden and my arms still ache a bit, I'm very, VERY bad at gardening, I just dont actually care

Tell you something, high up on the shopping list if I win the lottery will be a gardener.

Plants around me die, the grass doesnt want to be ccu but the flowers will commit Hari-Kari if the mower gets inside the same postcode, even DEAD plants refuse to do what I want and come out of posts without a bizarre dance akin to a rave...

The only thing I want to do with plants and flowers are buying them for people.

Damn work... I used to be late to bed, late to rise, now I'm tired by midnight, not normal... Bet I'm back to my usual self tomorrow though.

So a question before I love you and leave you...

On our profiles we've got various ways of getting in touch, email, MSN, Yahoo etc but how many of you have actually used them?

I've got 3 people on MSN from here and one I'm a pretty open emailer with, but I have to admit they were all initiated by the people in question (and let me clarify I'm glad they did and happy for anyone else to!)

I do have a little part of my brain with a self-confidence shortfall and it tends to tell me not to bug people, a serious handicap when it comes to things of a dating nature!

So here's your starter for 10, would you use the exrtra ways of getting in touch with people? If not, why not?

...so may be I can give this listy thing a creative try...

1) Desktop PC or Laptop?
Laptop at home, desktop at work.

2) If you had to name one charity that would get £1mill who would it be?
Probably PDSA or British Heart Foundation.

3) If you won £1mill would you still work or laze?
I'd like to open a shop selling video games and sci-fi/fantasty tat.

4) Like any TV program enough to own all the boxsets?
Far too many for my own good...

5) Whats the biggest age gap you've dated?
11 years

6) If you were a Greek or Roman God, what would you like to be the God of?
Hmm, God of wine would be fun

7) On a scale of 1(low) to 10(high) how would you rate your boredom threshold?
1 - I get bored very easily.

8) Is there anyone on blog you'd date?
Feck, forgot I'd have to answer it... umm, probably somewhere!

9) Do you prefer a holiday at a specific place or do you like to travel around?
I'd rather travel around.

10) Which job would you choose, high pay with low recognition or low pay and high recognition?
Well, both are better than my current job... I think recognition over pay to be honest.

Right, lets see if this is the worst spreading list ever...

Lemme just make it clear, I love this blog, but I wonder if I have to move.

I've met some superb people on here and I'd miss the hell out of you all but the crashes, spam attacks, slowdown and other problems are almost making this place unworkable.

Looking around I think we get things on here we wouldn't get elsewhere but is it better to have an old Fiat with no features that does 70mph or a fully featured Ford that does 10mph max?

Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

*Hiding my skeleton key to Ros' blog* Well, everyone else has done it...

1. Close your eyes and tell me instantly what you see? Place, or person? Where, or who?
Lol, person.... and that would be telling

2. You suddenly have £1,000 to spend but only five seconds to decide what on. What's your choice?
I'd be dull and save it probably!

3. Ultimate dinner party with you and any three guests?
Well, as Ros didn't invite me I won't return the favour... I'd ask someone who has a REALLY big resteraunt so it could be a real party.

4. You MUST be stung by a wasp or a bee. Which one?
Wasp, the sting is less likely to stay in.

5. First name of the person who first broke your heart?
Hmm, not sure really, a gal called Sarah probably

6. Biggest regret so far?
Hmm, some lost opportunities... (I wish girls would TELL me when they're interested...)

7. Favourite cocktail.
Don't do cocktails.

8. Recommend a book I probably haven't read and tell me why I will like it.
Any early work from Tom Holt, all wonderfully funny and underrated.

9. A film you've always meant to see and sort of know deep down you probably never will do.
Don't do never seeing, if I want to watch something I probably will.

10. You're on death row. It's your final meal. What do you ask for?
Some ropes, weapons, 25 fully armed mercenaries and a full set of prison keys. Yum, iron is good for you...

Just like the alignment of the planets, occasional coincedences work together.

Today one guy left work and one guy got transferred so a small celebration was planned.

It then turned out that our TV people won some awards tonight and the local manager sent out the ill-informed and ill-advised email informing of free drinks with no time or amount limitations

Hence I'm a little half cut so excuse things I say tonight...

This is totally new and not stolen from anyone, especially not Miss Thompson.

1. How many times have you lied today?
Umm, about two sentences ago?

2. What age was your first kiss, no tongue? (bit of a cliché isnt it)
Lol, pretty young if we're talking ever.

3. What colour is your keyboard?
Work and home are silver and black.

4. When was the last time that you got butterflys in your stomach?
When I ran with my mouth open.

5. Cats or dogs?
Hmm, I have a dog but I like cats too.

6. Your favourite card in a deck of 52?
The Ace of Spades

7. Last time you cryed for no reason?
I don't cry for NO reason

8. Smile or laugh?
Both?! (see!)

9. Favourite number?
Nine, dunno why really.

10. Were any of these questions original?
TOTALLY original and thought up by me... yes...

Ironic the phone in on our station at the moment is "what can't you live without for a day..." and my answer it seems is blog!

Went home yesterday, full of beans for blogging... tried to log on... DOH!

Looks like our web is down at the mo, very irritating, thank god for work!

See, this is why I have no sanity...

What's worse? My friend Xowie challenging me to make a picture of an eel with a mighty wingspan or me actually doing it....?

All my insanity is friend-provided...

Iiiiiiiin the Claret and Blue corner we have Hayden the Haymaker Mullins, tall, strong and full of power.

Iiiiiiiin the Red corner, Luis Sangria Garcia, 3 foot 2, 75 pounds soaking wet but like a little stick of dynamite!

Hehe, I'd still bet for Garcia...

Ah well, the FA Cup preview turns out to be the ONLY game the two of them will play... ah well, still a win and another three points, and Cisse scoring twice... Bizarre!

This came to me as an idea from puredawn, a Blog parliament

As we're all having a moan about politics... plus looking at the post below I need the power so I'm nicking Prime Minister...

Prime Minister: ajnspencer
Deputy PM: rithompson
Chancellor:
Minister for the Arts: puredawn
Minister for Secret Affairs: Juzzzy
Minister for Random Questions: HektorHamulec2
Minister of Edjukashun Fisheries and Foods: cj592
Minister for Correctly Spelt Education: sminchin
Secret head of MI592: Flash Hazzard
Minister for Doing Nothing but Looking Quite Busy: subzzz
Foreign Minister and Minister for Watty Melons: Al Jolson *cough* graemephillipsuk even!
Minister for Hamsters, Gerbils and Other Small Things That Go 'Eep': helly100 (Also Special Minister for the Promotion of Listy Goodness)
Minister of Something: brown-eyed-girl

Anyone want a position?

Turns out in pure politician fashion John Prescott has had an affair...

Ahh, the old quote is right, New Labour, Old Tory.

My only questions... HOW?! And how desperate was she for the power trip!

Either that or he just had the poor girl chained to his floating throne in a gold bikini...

Gives me hope.... how do you become a politician

Anyone for a list? Dropped off the back of a lorry so it did... *rubbing off Ros' fingerprints*

1. Would you like to genuinely know what other people think?
Hmm, I'd quite like to know when women like me, I'm very bad at knowing that otherwise...

2. Would you want to live for ever?
Only if my family and you lot got to as well!

3. What would you do if it could be absolutely guaranteed that you would get away with it?
Punch the guy who made us use a specific piece of software at work.

4. Do you ever want to smash precious things?
Maybe other peoples... I'm not really the smashing type though to be honest.

5. You hear a noise in the night. What would be the most thrilling thing that could have caused it?
Someone getting into bed with me

6. What is the most exciting thing you have done with your fingernails?
I cant really remember an exciting fingernail moment...

8. If you could wish that one book had never been written. What would it be?
Far From The Madding Crowd, the world's dullest book.

9. Would you rather have a short intense life or a long contented one?
Long definately.

10. If you are a man have you ever imagined what it would be like to have a vagina? If you are a woman have you ever imagined what it would be like to have a penis?
I'd love to have a vagina, I could call in Enid and it could follow me around on a little lead and create conversation... (Long day, brain wierd...)

Had this really annoying neck/head ache for a load of the day... Bah...

Not a bad day all told though, been having some work worries but I had a good long chat with the Editor and he's reassured me a bit, even to the point of saying about training and career progression into presenting! Eep.

Had a nutter turn up in work though, as the only web person on site I ended up having to talk to her.

She wanted to become a moderator on the BBC sites, had no training, qualifications or, in fact, the internet... But wasnt going to let that stop her!

Oh, forgot to say, St George's Day is also widely regarded as the birthday of Shakespeare!

Of course there is still an argument as to whether Shakespeare actually wrote his plays and some people are sure they were actually done by Sir Francis Bacon.

Can I suggest a unique answer? We exhume them both, lay them side by side in front of the Mel Gibson version of Hamlet and see which coffin begins spinning...

Borrowed from the most lovely Gooner Gal.

How long does it take you to decide what to wear in the morning?
Depends whether there's anything clean to hand...

If you had to rename yourself in the blogosphere, what would your new name be?
Umm, ajnspencer?

What is the last thing you looked forward to doing at night?
Can't remember anything specific.

What are you procrastinating at the moment?
Sorting the clothes in my room.

While channel surfing, what movie will you always stop to watch if it's on?
Dunno, if I've watched things too often I'd rather find something new.

If your behavior came with a guarantee, what could you honestly guarantee about yourself?
I'll do my very best to make you laugh!

What is your favorite breakfast cereal from childhood? What is your favorite now?
Hmm, probably corn-flakes, never been a big cereal fan.

If you could have a scale model of anything you wanted, what would it be?
Umm, no idea really, Red Dwarf?

So in the latest Dr Who it would appear he's going to be a teacher....

Does anyone know if we can track CJ's manoeuvres... I'm getting suspicious...

Happy St George's day to you all!

"I may not agree with your words, but I'll fight for your right to speak them." - Voltaire

As you may have guessed, this has the potential to be a serious post, you have been warned!

I was doing my "Oh God, I'm bored" surfing this morning and came across two stories that unfortunately didn't surprise me, both being quite outstanding in their hypocrisy.

Take a look HERE and HERE (the top story titled 'The Price Aint Right').

Both happened a short while ago and both happened in Australia but they showed the beginning of a malaise I fear may soon become widespread.

I love free speech, I can sit here and say God may or may not exist, Bush is a bit dim, Blair is a meglomaniac and his wife has a smile that constantly reminds me I need to post a letter.

But now we have journalists suing journalists, or as I prefer to call it, fighters for free speech complaining about free speech.

I think it could become a growing problem, often those that champion the cause of free speech are those that will also find it the hardest to come to terms with it when it's aimed at them.

Let me now pop in a few more quotes that reflect my view on life.

"Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not." - Vaclav Havel

"Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused." - Unknown

"When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him." - Thomas S. Szasz

I've always known I'm not perfect but as a believing friend once said "there's only ever been one perfect person and they stuck him on a cross for it." (Hmm, shoulda written this last weekend for full topicality there...)

When I was young I carried a little too much weight around with me, that helped me become an easy target for bullies, the fact I could laugh at myself and admit my faults - and have now defeated that one - meant they really had nowhere mentally scarring to go anymore.

Of course for bullies the answer was simple, in their limited world what couldn't be hurt mentally could be attempted physically.

Now journos, both professional and amateur, don't have this recourse, not because they might have grown out of it but because what's allowed in school is normally frowned on in life.

So, in a strange turnaround they'll almost take the attitude of the badly bullied and "go tell on you" to the courts or whatever administration body might be in charge.

But can they complain? Isn't it as hypocritical for them to complain as it would be a serial burglar whining his stereo got nicked?

Yet here they will be, shouting loudly about their right to free speech while trying to make sure it's only they that can use it.

It seems free speech for some people is like the Tamar Bridge that links the rest of the country to the outpost of Cornwall, free going out but it costs coming back.

Woohoo! FA Cup final here we come!

Wouldn't have bet a quid ont hat when we were 3-1 down against Luton.

Now if only we could play ever Chelski match like a cup final...

Gawd, I always get nervous about Chelski matches, I have faith in my team and all but Chelski are so packed full of cash.

It's strange how people seem to think Rafa was insulting them this morning by saying that without Abramovich they'd be nothing.

It really is true, lets be honest, Moaninho or not, without the money to outbid for any player they want they'd still be those lovely helpful little chaps who'd happily fall apart at any oppotunity to give others the title/cup.

A thought for all people living in tourist traps as the summer approaches...

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

Sorry, couldn't help it...

"What's that blog done for you except moan" may appear ASAP...

You know, before I started working on footy matches I hated the end of the footy season, now all I can see isn't a lack of football (World Cup anyone?) but months of free weekends...

And before anyone says anything about it being next weekend the Championship finishes... I get next weekend off!

I'll make it clear, I certainly don't dislike my job, it just means I never get to see live football!

Can you recognise a bald man by his haircut?

Hmm, I wonder if I'm starting to lose my imagination sometimes, I know my brain isn't in it's finest ever place right about now but that's still no excuse!

I used to use my imagination mostly on the trips to and from work, for those that don't know I spend a stupid amount of time travelling, two 40 minute train journeys and two 30 minute walks.

Lately though, rather than my brain wandering off and daydreaming while I walk on automatic I've found I can't get my brain to drift, I end up thinking about how I cant think of anything, and that's no help to anyone!

Oh well, I'll attempt to think of nice things on my way home after 5, lets see if it works!

These individual quotes were reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations throughout the U.S. Hopefully, none of us will be seeing similar ones on ours.

- Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.

- I would not allow this employee to breed.

- This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be.

- Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

- When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.

- He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.

- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

- He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

- This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

- This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.

- He's got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

- A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

- Gates are down, lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

- Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

- If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

- If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.

- If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the oceans.

- It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.

- One neuron short of a Synapse.

- Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.

- Takes him 1.5 hours to watch 60 Minutes.

- The wheel is still turning, but the hamster is dead.

OK peeps, it's the lovely Devilish_jelly_beanz birthday today!

Happy Birthday darl!

Feel free to leave birthday wishes in the comments.

Oh, and have you added your birthday to the blog birthday calender?

Take a look at this, don't you just want one?

PS, time for my early night, fingers crossed I feel better come the morrow.

My head feels wierd and I blame work.

We had a codey problem needing solved on the website and I spent two hours solid staring at javascript and HTML and trying to pick the code apart to make it do what we needed.

I now have code-head.

I'm feeling really giddy right now, any time I close my eyes it's like I'm on a ship in bad weather.

Well, I'm gonna be around for a lil bit then I'm gonna get an early night, and this one will be a PROPER early night, not one of my usual faux early nights that ends up midnight.

And especially not from CJ

How many words can you type in 1 minute?
Quite a few, it depends on the length of them!

Anchovies on a pizza; yes or no?
No, for the love of god NO!

Do you know the phone numbers of the local take-aways?
Thankfully not!

Ever been stung by a Jellyfish?
Nope, although I know you just have to pee on it.

Can you remember Pythagoras’ Theorem?
Scarily yes...

Would you ever take Viagra?
Only if I mistook it for a blue smartie...

Would you take a lie detector test to appease your partner?
I'd hope I'd never have a partner with that little trust in me!

Are Vampires real?
Real ones? No.

Ever made something from Lego you were really proud of?
God yes, far too much stuff to list.

Did you ever play Guess Who?
Yep.

Madonna, improved with age?
Do we mean the songs or the woman? Yes and no to both!

Borg v Cyberman. Who would win?
Both of them when they decided to join forces and kill us all instead.

You gotta love this guy... This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it. It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests...

After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding.

He especially wanted to thank the brides and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.

As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyones chair, including the wedding party, was an envelope. He said this was his gift for everyone, and asked them to open their envelope.

Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride sleeping with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.

After just standing there, just watching the guests reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "Take that". Then he turned to his bride and said, "Jerk".

Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, "Im outta here."

He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning.

While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong.

His revenge...making the brides parents pay over $32,000