OK, two things I'd like from you (I know, I'm just take, take, take... )

Firstly, a bit of feedback over the Random Blog Generator now it's been up for a bit, anyone actually use it!?

And secondly, do you have any blogs it should have on it's list?

You can take it as read all my friends are on there in their myriad of forms but what about blogs I might not have come across? C'mon people, sell it to me

On the banks of a river sat three indian women, sitting on three different animal skins.

On a deer skin was a woman with her son, and the son weighed 140 pounds.

On a buffalo skin was another woman, and her son who weighed 160 pounds.

And on a hippopotamus skin sat an immense indian woman, who refused to tell anyone her weight.

The locals asked the local wise man Dances With Maths if he knew how much she weighed and he said 300 pounds.

Amazingly when the villagers checked he was right, when they asked him how he knew he replied:

"The squaw on the hippopotamus was equal to the sons of the squaws on the other two hides."

So, todays interesting experience?

The back of my head and right shoulder was on TV. Well, whoop de do...

The telly presenter I drive the desk for at lunchtime did a live linkup into telly, cue the place getting kitted out with more equipment that was really necessary not to mention more PEOPLE that really necessary...

It's a funny thing about the difference in the medias, there was actually twice as many people just setting up the studio for a 45 second insert than there was to produce, present and drive the two hour phone in!

It's strange sometimes to see the differences, for a Five-Live match there's a team of technicians, producers, exec people, commentators, on site runners, directors...

On a Saturday afternoon in lil us... there's me and a commentator. A commentator who once tried telling a Five-Live team how we do it and was met with incredulous stares!

I'm worried the crappy sleeping is back, had it a couple nights in a row now but trust me, I'm not gonna bore you all with the details over and over again!

Oooh, the friends list on the right of the compose page now has lil piccies of you all...

Umm, has anyone noticed that a blog spammer has signed up using a load of old blog names?

So far I've seen:

scotchbonnetmsess - Subbie

Landers - Paddy

fuzzyheadandhoneybeelists - Wasn't this the short lived meme blog from the Posh n Becks of Blog, Miss H and Mr G?

Chocolatebuttons - B

whatsthebigidea - Sure I remember that one...

loupoulsom - another one I'm sure I remember...

Why?! Do they hope we're dumb enough to firstly not have changed our bookmarks and then go "oh, that's my friend... I'll just click this link about Online Home Sales..."

EDIT: The bastards have had one of mine away now! (helpdesk)

Blimey, how alive this place seems when there's no football on the telly

After being told something that made the Potential News (it deserves the capitals) sound more positive I also heard something that makes it more negative, a whole lot more negative.

Dunno what to think now... at least I haven't been doing anything as silly as being hopeful...

So, totally unrelated, here's a little office-to-English phrasebook of job hunting phrases...

Competitive Salary - We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

Join Our Fast-Paced Company - We have no time to train you.

Casual Work Atmosphere - We don't pay you enough to expect that you will dress up.

Must Be Deadline Oriented - You will be six months behind schedule on your first day.

Some Overtime Required - Some time each night and some time each weekend.

Duties Will Vary - Anyone in the office can boss you around.

Must Have An Eye For Detail - We have no quality control.

Career-Minded - Female applicants must be childless (and stay that way).

Apply In Person - If you're fat, old, or ugly, you will be told the position has been filled.

No Phone Calls Please - We already have someone for the job, our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

Seeking Candidates With A Wide Variety of Experience - You will need it to replace three people who have just left.

Problem Solving Skills A Must - You are walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

Requires Team Leadership Skills - You will have the responsibilities of a manager; without the pay or respect.

Good Communication Skills - Management communicates; you listen, figure out what they want, and do it.

After Graeme's post on depressing blogs, the cheerful Nixie wrote one to promote a sense of love into blog, something I was thinking of doing, telling you all what I love etc, etc...

However I realised it's the usual things, my family, my friends, my dog and of course you guys, although the love for you lot varies depending on the person

But I've decided to combine both the above posts into one and give a simple soliloquy on one thing I love which takes in my answer to Mr G.

I love what this blog gives me in life, I love that when I'm feeling crap or feeling down I don't have to hide it.

This site is me and as such mirrors who I am, I don't write depressing posts etc on here because I want to be noticed, I want attention or I'm hoping for sympathy.

I write it often because this is but an extension of who I am, possibly, thanks to the ever decreasing anonimity (c'mon, who doesn't know who I am by now?!) this is my most public face, this is the me with no walls, the me baring all (sorry for that image guys!) without having to hide who I really am or how I really feel.

I sometimes feel guilty writing depressing posts etc, I wonder why people would read them but although I enjoy being entertaining, and I enjoy writing things people might want to read this is a marvellous way of getting things off my chest, often the act of writing thoughts makes you look a little deeper, sometimes even forces you to realise the folly of those thoughts.

I hope (in some cases I know) that you guys don't come on here and if I'm not capering like a jester run off.

It really does help when I'm feeling down and I get messages from people, not because they want anything, or feel the need to vicariously leech my unhappiness but because they're friends and they're nice people, they really do seem to care. (Trust me, I owe many of you many drinks)

So there we go, it may be a little sad... but God Bless this site and all who blog on her.

To the tune of Yesterday by the Beatles:

Yesterday,
All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
Now my database has gone away.
Oh I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly,
There's not half the files there used to be,
And there's a milestone hanging over me
The system crashed so suddenly.

I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say.

Now all my data's gone
and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.

Yesterday,
The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
I knew my data was all here to stay,
Now I believe in yesterday.

PS, thank you to cartlionel and rockchick for their concern... I'm afraid to say I only put it up because I thought it was funny, not for any actual experience...

SORRY!

Gawd that's been a day of ups and downs... (and it's not even finished yet!)

Hmm, they seem to cancel each other out largely!

The CD purchases were great though, got two CDs I've been after for a while, Pulp Fiction's Soundtrack and Fat Of The Land by Prodigy, along with the soundtrack to Austin Powers that looked good for a laugh.

Not bad for £5.50! All hail the Cancer Research charity shop.

My only version of Fat Of The Land before now was on cassette so the mp3 versions were a bit scratchy to say the least, although I got some of them on the comilation "Their Law".

The work colleagues plusses and minuses probably do work out on the pro side, some positive and enthused comments and a bit brighter angle on my potential news along with spending two hours driving a really nice lady from telly doing the phone in. (Daily Wail readers, you'd have loved it Ros!)

Unlike a few of the stuck up telly people around (trust me, we've had one of the worst telly tarts ever on our patch!) the ones we've got local are really great now, they certainly don't look down on radio staff and couldn't be more helpful and friendly at times, this may seem a bit weird to be happy about but trust me, arrogance when it comes to TV personalities is sometimes a given and really wrecks the mood.

The bad one was someone who decided to apply for an award, leave it to the last minute then LEAVE on a course, not letting anyone know until the very, VERY last minute. Ah well...

As for blog... again, spose we have to call it a pro because it may be slow, it may be broke in places, it may not be sending the notification emails... but it's got you guys so hey.

Phew, really was a manic Monday...

Ended up doing a few shifts in work and am now knackered...

Ah well, c'est la vie as those froggy chaps say, tally ho, stiff upper lip and all that darned what-not! (nope, no idea what I'm talking about...)

Blog seems to be having it's difficulties again tonight... hope it's not a lasting malaise...

Now, there was an actual point to this...

Nope, gone right outa my head, I'll tell you later as and when it comes to mind.

It's just before kickoff in the England v Brazil Semi Final and Ronaldinho goes into the Brazillian changing room to find all his teammates looking a bit glum.

"What's up?" he asks.

"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game," said Dida.

"We know it's important but it's only England. They're sh*te and we can't be bothered."

Ronaldinho looks at them and says, "Well, I reckon I can beat them by myself. You lads go down the pub."

So Ronaldinho goes out to play England by himself and the rest of the Brazilian team go off for a few jars.

After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads " Brazil 1 - England 0 (Ronaldinho 11 minutes)".

Anyway, a few pints later and the game is forgotten until Cafu remembers, "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on." They put the teletext on.

"Result from the Stadium 'Brazil 1 (Ronaldinho 11 minutes) - England 1 (Lampard 89 minutes) England win on penalties".

They can't believe it; he has single-handedly got a draw against England!! They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate Ronaldinho, but:

They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sitting with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down."

"Don't be daft, you got a draw against England, all by yourself. And they only scored at the very, very end! Never mind the penalties, it's still a historic result!"
 
"No, no, I have," he said.

"I've let you down. I got sent off after 12 minutes."

"Republicans in the House of Representatives forced everyone to spend an entire day discussing a non-binding resolution praising the troops and labeling Iraq part of the War on Terror. Later they will debate a resolution declaring kittens 'adorable'" --Jon Stewart

Currently top hitter on the random blog generator (I get a record of hits) is Ros' Random blog...

PS, everyone see that match?! That was insane, I thought it'd revert to a five aside match

Ok, lets be honest before we get too excited... how lucky were we?!

It was ironic seeign David Beckham be sick, the team have had much the same effect on me this cup...

Oh, and look, Crybabio Ronaldo is at it again... Why do I find so much evil enjoyment from the whiney little scarecrow weeping like a little girl who's dolly has been stolen?

Hmm, had a boring Sunday which is not necessarily very bad, not exactly how I'd have liked to spend it but you know the old Chinese insult "may you live in interesting times"...

Plus the boredom let me get around to doing something I've wanted to for a while, my experimental "Random Blog Generator".

You only get to see a certain amount of my friends so now all my friends blogs can be randomly picked by clicking the button Oh, it also contains one off-site blog, lets see how long it takes any of you to discover my friends blog from somewhere else

If it works... *fingers crossed*

By the way, on that subject, should any of my friends not want any of their blogs on the list, do let me know and I'll take you off the list!

I've been tagged "might contain some nudity"...

I'm never that lucky!

Swiped from Pads.

READ THE RULES FIRST!

Right, if you're going to do this, before you read my answers write down a numbered list of 20 people you know then do the questions!

My list: (No particular order and don't feel left out!)

1) Maryanne
2) Sarah B
3) Xowie
4) Kev
5) Dani
6) Simon
7) Laura
8) Ros
9) CJ
10) Lyn
11) Paddy
12) Jenni
13) Caroline
14) Sarah M
15) Lindz
16) Ruth
17) Helly
18) Hayley
19) Graeme
20) Louisa

Read more!

Thank f--k it's the weekend!

I've had a funny week, regular readers (you poor sods) will know this has been a funny week for me, mentally I've been up, down, sideways, all over the blooming shop, often without even knowing why.

Hopefully a relaxed weekend (for relaxed read boring) might sort that out!

Work's been a bit strange this week, very positive from colleagues and management but... I dunno, mild paranoia at times but hey.

Got some news too, could be good, could be bad, I've got to wait a couple weeks before I know and I'm not a patient man. The uncertainty is not helping my mood.

So, lets kick back, whomp on some tunes and enjoy what will hopefully be an adequate weekend!

...the Girlfriend to wife upgrade so I thought I'd even the score:

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, and installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

And the Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In one year, I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all flesh is destroyed. But I want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark." In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications for an Ark. In fear and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build the ark. "Remember," said the Lord, "you must complete the Ark and bring everything aboard in one year."

Exactly one year later, fierce storm clouds covered the earth and all the seas of the earth went into a tumult. The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard weeping. "Noah!" He shouted. "Where is the Ark?"

"Lord, please forgive me," cried Noah. "I did my best, but there were big problems.

First, I had to get a license for construction, and your plans did not meet the building codes. I had to hire an engineering firm and redraw the plans. Then I got into a fight with the Fire Safety Department over whether or not the Ark needed a sprinkler system and approved floatation devices. Then, my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating planning permission by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get permission from the city planning dpeartment.

Then, I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the red squirrel. I finally convinced the Forestry Service that I really needed the wood to save the squirrels. However, DEFRA wouldn't let me take the squirrels.

The carpenters formed a union and went on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labour Relations Board before anyone would pick up a saw or hammer. Now, I have 16 carpenters on the Ark, but still no squirrels.

When I started rounding up the other animals, an animal rights group sued me. They objected to me taking only two of each kind aboard. This suit is pending.

Meanwhile, the EPA notified me that I could not complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take very kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the Universe.

Then, the Army Corps of Engineers demanded a map of the proposed flood plain. I sent them a globe.

Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that I am practicing discrimination by not taking atheists aboard.

The Inland Revenue has seized my assets, claiming that I'm building the Ark in preparation to flee the country to avoid paying taxes. I just got a notice from the state that I owe them some kind of user tax and failed to register the Ark as a 'recreational water craft'.

And finally, the House of Lords got the courts to issue an injunction against further construction of the Ark, saying that since God is flooding the earth, it's a religious event, and, therefore illegal. I really don't think I can finish the Ark for another five or six years."

Noah waited. The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine, and the seas began to calm. A rainbow arched across the sky.

Noah looked up hopefully. "You mean you're not going to destroy the earth, Lord?"

"No," He said sadly. "I don't have to. The government already has."

"According to a new study, teachers have the germiest jobs. They have 17,000 germs per square inch on their desk. That's 10 times the germ rate of those in other professions" - Donald Trump.

Aren't those sex lines just so sad old men can imagine what someone sounds like naked...?

If you love Brahm's Lullaby right to the end... does that mean it's failed?

Is amateur dramatics just there to distract the untalented from trying professional dramatics?

Why is it, like a fine wine, managers pass out urgent and critical work only after it's matured on their desk for a while?

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are one billion stars in the universe you believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you still have to touch it to be sure?

How deep would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there?

Sorry, just spotted on my friends list (look right) there's the enendingly enthusiastic Kiki and her Portugese flag icon and the dangerously delightful B and her England flag logo right next to each other

Would make a good World Cup final

What sodding wrong with me, I'm feeling... Well, the word my friends and I use is "fneugh".

Anyway, it will be sorted, I will be saying the usual stuff ASAP, whether I feel like it or not.

Having a slightly better day...

Actually slept right through although I did wake up too early and work is much better, all the stress levels have dropped a bit and it's a happier place to work today, let's hope it lasts...

Couple mini-things are winding me up but hey, tis a more positive me today

Not had the best day today, our system in work is still abysmal and one of the people I work with was getting VERY stressed today

It's funny how sometimes one person can make such a change to an office, when everyone is happy and chatty it seems like a really happy place to be and I actually don't mind working there!

But if someone is grumpy, stressed or feeling overworked it seems to permeate the office, everyone gets a bit more snitty, things start to fray, one person snaps and kablammo, all of a sudden I feel like putting on a tin hat and hiding under the desk...

My problem is that I'm a natural mediator, I hate arguments and I try to see both sides, and then it becomes worse when you sorta feel the person who is in the wrong is not just a workmate but a friend.

If someone's having problems I'll try to fix them, although I find stressed, snapped people tend not to want logic or diplomacy...

Watching my local news just saw the dumbest story...

A guy got clocked on a speed camera through a small village in Dorset.

Rather than just pay he did what a large percentage of what speeders do. Find someone, ANYONE to blame.

This comes shortly after a load of convictions were quashed because of complaints that a 3 on a 30 sign "looked like a 5".

His "excuse" is about the speed camera sign, there are 14 of them in various places warning that the camera is there, all brightly designed and easy to see as per police rules on the visibility of cameras.

So, his excuse?

The sign has a neon yellow and red border... which he says makes the sign illegal. So he shouldn't have to pay. Because the sign that told him he should drive through a small village at 30 mph was TOO visible.

Dumbass. Although that doesn't really cover it, my real wish is to say something that should not be uttered in mixed company and that of minors.

He knew the speed limit, we all knew the speed limit, how does the sign matter beyond some painfully small mided way to get out of paying a few quid for something that, let's be honest here, he's admitted he did!

Just pay the fine and take it like a man!

OK, it's starting to really get to me.

Last Saturday night/Sunday morning was the last time I manged to sleep right through and it's now beyong a joke.

Lets run the checklist of current suggestions:

I blog too much... We know I blog too much but it's not that, firstly I've been blogging for 10 months and secondly cause I don't have trouble GETTING to sleep, I just find myself waking up sometime in the night.

I'm stressed... OK, I am. life, love and work aren't going well right now but I'm used to those things, nothing BIGGER has happened lately and the old stuff never stopped me sleeping. In fact, right now I might well be happier in life than I have been for a while, even though work is a bit pants (long story) and love is minimal and even that is all outgoing rather then incoming.

I'm going to bed too early/too late (delete depending on person... In the last few weeks I've gone to bed at times ranging from 10.30pm through to 4am, nothings worked.

It's not critical, I don't stay awake for THAT long and it's not making me THAT tired, it's just very irritating and a bit... I dunno, makes me feel a bit cruddy.

Fingers crossed (again) for tonight.

...cause my brain isn't quite right yet.

The Pope shook his head and said no to the offer.

Two weeks later the businessman approached the Pope again, this time with a 50 million dollar offer.

Again the Pope declined.

A month later the man offers 100 million, and this time the Pope accepts.

At a meeting of the Cardinals, the Pope announces his decision.

"I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is, we lost the Hovis account."

"The White House planned the whole trip in total secrecy. The prime minister of Iraq was not told. The press was not told. Even President Bush was not told. In fact when he got off the plane in Baghdad he said, 'Boy, Arizona is hot.'" --Jay Leno

"Last week the U.S. eliminated Iraq's number one terrorist, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. This week al Qaeda announced his successor, Abu Hamza al-Muhajer. When asked why they chose him, an al Qaeda spokesperson said, 'We have a lot of leftover stationary that says, From the Desk of Abu.'" --Conan O'Brien

What made you start blogging?
I needed a place I could vent and be myself. Thought I might meet some good people too and I needed that as well.

How many posts do you write a day?
At the very least 1, I can't remember the last day I didn't post. Normally 3 or 4 on average.

Do you think people read your blog? If so why?
From my stats it appears people read me! As for why? I ask myself that every day.

What musical style would you describe your blog?
Hmm, eclectic! Sometimes I'm rocking, sometimes I'm chillout, sometimes I'm a bit of britpop.

Do you read other blogs often?
Yep, I read, if not comment on every one of my friends blogs and I'll random grab blogs from the homepage too.

What attracts you to other blogs?
Something fun or caring, I still feel a blog is an impression of the bloggers soul, I like people I can laugh with who also have a good heart.

What blog title would make you read a new persons blog?
"I'm in love with AJ!"

What title would make you steer clear of another persons blog?
Anything ad-based and any of the "up their own backside" news blogs with an overinflated sense of self importance and a conspiracy theorist mindset. (you know who you are...)

Do you ever discover new Bloggers because they are frinds of bloggers you know already?
Gawd yeah, quite a few on my list came about as friends of friends, one is even a friend of a friend of a friend! But now, she is simply a friend and I wouldn't have it any other way.

As a percentage, how addicted are you to blogging?
Addicted to blogging? maybe 10%. Addicted to bloggERS? 100%.

My boring weekend has had a slight snigger inserted thanks to a Brazillian footballer's name...

Ronaldinho, Kaka, Robinho, Adriano... Fred.

Fred?

FRED?!