1. What is the first thing people notice about you?
No idea.

2. Name 3 things you couldn't live without?
MP3 Player.
Laptop.
Mobile phone.

3. If we gave you £500 to spend what would you blow it on?
I wouldn;t blow it, I'd stick it in my ISA.

4. Who makes you smile?
People.

5. What was your favourite childhood holiday?
Can't say anything stuck in my mind.

6. Tell us about your best friend.
I have to pick one? "Best friends" are like school.

7. Describe your most vivid memory?
Typing the answer to the last question.

8. What's on your internal Jukebox at the moment?
Champagne Supernova.

9. What headline would you most like to read about yourself?
I write em, don't read em.

10. Describe your bedroom.
It's a room with my bed in it.

11. What leaves you tongue tied?
Women. Most of them.

12. What's the best lie you've ever told?
No, it's fine if we split up, I just want you to be happy.

13. What keeps you awake at night?
Right now a lot of things, none of them fun.

14. What's your nickname?
AJ.

15. Who does your washing?
I wash myself...

16. What are your three essentials for a good night out?
Friends.
Friends.
Friends.

17. What's the strangest thing you've ever put in your mouth?
That's got to just be put in for a rude answer.

18. Who would you like to be for the day and why?
Anyone.

19. Who was on your bedroom wall as a teenager?
Various sci-fi posters, no women actually.

20. Which famous people dead or alive would you like to be stuck in a lift with and why?
Anyone in the alive category, dont want to be in a lift with dead people.

The delights of an all digital radio station.

When the network breaks it breaks BIG!

It's about 4.20, I'm gently meandering to the end of my day, compiling the trails schedule for tomorrow and searching for some audio for a new trail for one of our shows.

"Will an engineer go to radio studio 1B urgently" comes over the tannoy, repeatedly.

Now, I have a fair idea none of the engineers are around so as a vaguely technical person decide to go see if I can help.

Turns out ALL our networks have slammed into the ground at high speed, we've lost our scripting system, we've lost our email and most critically of all... we've lost our playout system.

In today's society CDs ar very rare, interviews, music, jingles, trails, EVERYTHING is digital and in a playout system, basically like windows media player, just more advanced!

So, we're now non-digital, we have no options except for the backup CDs of generic music that sits in the back of the studio for just such an occasion, not something you can make an ENTIRE program from though when it should be a semi news drivetime show.

So we all end up running around trying our hardest to get some kind of show on air!

I'm burning jingles onto CD, putting trails on minidisc, and we're all enjoying the sight of a steady conveyor belt of journos going through the newsbooth as they couldn't play audio either so each journo was coming in to read a voicer live

Ah well, we got radio on air, what more can be done!

It is with some ego that I point out my bringing a new word into blogland, "Fneugh".

It's used in those times where you just feel... well, fneugh.

Fneugh ff-nuh, adj, uncaring, unenergetic, brainblank...

So here's the plan, after a comment made by the good Lady S of the Minchin, a petition!

We the undersigned want the word "Fneugh" to be placed in the Oxford English Dictionary!

When you spend five confused minutes wondering why your watch clasp is acting weird, finally get it closed... and realise it was because you were putting it on upside down... Where's an emoticon for "DOH!" when you need one...?

Stuff your virus killers, spyware killers and trojan hunters that do nothing!

Me, Windows safe mode, a small "delete on reboot" app and some sneaky regedit tricks and woo!

No virus will beat me!

PS, I wont reply to the various comments previously cause this answers all points

After all that about security t'uther day...

A backdoor in IE let in some malware last night, looks like a long fix as it's a little self replicating bugger.

Ah well, at least it's nothing critical, my stuff is catching it and it's not dangerous, just cant seem to find the spawner.

Oh and Jake? Don't say it, not in the mood...

Cause I don't post them often and was listening on the way to work.

Empty spaces - what are we living for
Abandoned places - I guess we know the score
On and on, does anybody know what we are looking for...

Another hero, another mindless crime
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime
Hold the line, does anybody want to take it anymore

The show must go on,
The show must go on
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on.

Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance
Another heartache, another failed romance
On and on, does anybody know what we are living for?

I guess I'm learning, I must be warmer now
I'll soon be turning, round the corner now
Outside the dawn is breaking
But inside in the dark I'm aching to be free

The show must go on
The show must go on
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on

My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies
Fairytales of yesterday will grow but never die
I can fly - my friends

The show must go on
The show must go on
I'll face it with a grin
I'm never giving in
On - with the show -

I'll top the bill, I'll overkill
I have to find the will to carry on
On with the -
On with the show -
The show must go on...

Queen - 1992

OK, rather than actually getting out and DOING sport I ended up inside watching it and playing a video game of it

Plus it was something that's only JUST a sport!

Today, this was me....

"Let me explain something to you about the algebra, if you will, of cable news: Three-year war in Iraq is less than 30-day-old bombing of Lebanon, which is less than explosive Gatorade on a plane, all of which is chicken(scratch) compared to a break in a 10-year-old murder case." --Jon Stewart

"A lot of folks are big fans of the planets. Pluto now has lost its status as a planet. But it says it will run as an independent." --David Letterman

"You know whose birthday it is tomorrow? Bill Clinton, former President Bill Clinton. Celebrity birthday, 60 years old. Bill Clinton plans to celebrate the same way he does every year: he'll have a romantic dinner, some dancing, a quiet intimate moment of lovemaking and then he'll go home to Hillary." --David Letterman

"In a sign of how troubled our world is right now, this year, President Bush decided he's only doing a ten-day vacation at his Crawford ranch which, really, why even bother at that point?." --Jon Stewart

"Good news. President Bush had his physical last week, and passed his physical. No word on the mental. But the doctors say he's okay, but he might want to go on a diet, because his Body-Mass Index has jumped to 26. On the bright side, his Body-Mass Index now matches his approval rating." --David Letterman

...I almost feel sorry for Newcastle United...

Owen gets injured after signing (OK, I snigger at that...), Luque got injured then generally couldnt hit a cow's arse with a banjo, They sell Michael Chopra whos now scoring for fun and finally fix themselves by spending 10 million quid on Obafemi Martins from Inter Milan.

Who lasts 60 minutes of his debut before being stretchered off with a seemingly serious injury.

With Newcastle already 2-0 down.

Just four minutes after they'd made their third sub so are now playing with 10 men.

So, anyone fancy playing up front for a premiership side, apply Glenn Roeder, St James Park, Newcastle...

I may have found the most oppresive piece of software ever, McAfee's internet security suite.

A neighbour was having trouble with his PC so I went to give him a hand, it was all, it seemed, due to the aforementioned software.

It had slowed his PC down incredibly, filled his process list with a good dozen or so running processes eating up resources and was, it must be said, the safest piece of software around, the reason? It wont let you DO anything...

Log on and your browswer window will only show a page saying "McaFee have blocked this page..." Fine if we were trying to look at Eastern European ladies taking it up the wrong-un but all we were trying to open was Google...

It also blocked any attempt at email access so the decision was made, after numerous attempts to shut it down, to simply uninstall it.

The most irritating thing was that if you shut down any of the processes, within seconds they'd be back! They spawned like gerbils!

So fine, into Add/Remove programs I went and uninstalled it, although it was a long slow process as it had it's own little uninstaller prog but hey, if it removes it then that's fine.

"McAfee Internet Security has uninstalled, restart your PC?" *YES*

Woohoo, there we go, sorted!

PC restarts.

Cue horror music, heavy on the bass.

It was BACK....

Like something out of a sci fi thriller it had returned! It was like I'd done nothing to it, everything as back, just how it had been!

So it blocks everything, wont let you shut it down and wont let you uninstall...

It's fecking 1984!

Finally, FINALLY I had to use all manner of cheats to clear it off the computer and let him have it back.

Personally the most scarily domineering piece of software I've seen!

So, in about a months time I will be visiting the Toon City as I have a training course in Newcastle for a few days.

Now, my choice...

Do I come straight home after the course which finishes on the Friday... or Do I take a little detour to Liverpool for the Liverpool v Spurs match on the Saturday...

By the way, interesting to see the cricket scandal is STILL going on...

Interesting to see that cricket is such a posh, upper class game that it's this big a scandal that some guy was caught scratching his balls in public.

Click the pics for the full story!

Friend on phone - "Hang on, where's my phone?"
Me - "In your hand with me on the other end?"
Friend on phone - *endless laughter*

1: What's your current favourite band/ singer?
I can never have one to be honest, I like a variety in my life.

2: OSX or Windows?
Windows.

3: What makes you happy?
Friends, nothing else can put as big a smile on my face.

4: What do you really want to achieve?
Umm... Don't know really...

5: What is your greatest strength?
Creativity.

6: If you could travel to anywhere past or future where would you go and why?
Far into the future, because I'm nosey.

7: What's your favourite place to be?
Bed.

8: What mobile phone do you use?
Motorola V3i

9: What car do you drive?
Don't

10: What do you consider the worst thing ever?
Disrespect of other people, every bad thing stems from that one base.

11: What would make your life complete?
A lottery win...

12: Reckon you could take your boss on and win?
In what way? Probably in a fight...

13: Have you ever asked for a pay rise and got it?
No.

14: What type of driver are you?
I normally manage to get it onto the green.

15: Do you dye your hair, now or ever?
No and never will.

16: Favourite film and why?
See the answer to number 1.

17: How many of your friends would you trust with your life?
A few of them.

18: What's your highest level of qualification (academic or work)?
A-Levels.

19: What's the make of your camera(s)?
Fuji.

20: PS2 or Xbox?
PS2

21: What's the colour of your eye's?
My eye's what?

22: Do you imagine your blog friends to look different until you see a photo?
Hmm, dont really think about it really, dont think I've ever been REALLY shocked.

To these posts from Subbie and Tealover.

If you're number one because you do "comment-swaps" or a "you visit me, I'll visit you" trick it's really rather sad...

In another feat of scary competance my MAC code was sent to me by AOL today so I could switch, and switch I bally well did! (Jeeves...)

Admittedly there was a mixup because doofus here didnt spot some small print but that was soon fixed and fairly soon I should be recieving my internet from Eclipse who are wonderfully a Devon based company (support the local business!) and also come highly recommended from my learned work colleague.

So, soon, for the first time since 2001... no AOL service.

OK, don't worry, I'm still switching my supplier from AOL but am suddenly feeling... happier about the whole thing.

Course the cynic in me says there still could be cockups BUT...

I have just done the daunting (I thought) task of ringing AOL, telling them I'm cancelling and getting the necessary MAC code.

I was expecting something awful I must say thanks to the various horror stories but nay, nay and thrice nay.

After a small chat with someone in a subcontinent call centre I was routed through to a lovely lady on the cancellations desk.

I was expecting, no racism intended, to speak to another Indian person, not a too bad thing because I actually LIKE the Indian accent but instead it was a quite beautiful young celtic accent that greeted my ears (trust me, I LOVE Scottish accents, Irish too).

Should she, by happenstance come across this blog page I would like to point out she should stay on the cancellations desk, I nearly stayed with AOL just so I could ring up to cancel every week and hope to get her again... (and if she does... see the PM thing on the profile page...?)

Anyway, aural sex aside, she then proceeded to be anything but expected. She was... *drumroll* competant.

When I told her about my customer service crisis the other day she was appalled, pointed out she would have given me a reduced rate and a percentage back (I nearly pointed out her phone number would have been enough) and generally made all the correct, but unexpected, sympathetic noises.

She then unveiled shock two... she didn't try the sales push! again!

She said "I would have offered this but if your mind is made up then we'll get you sorted." She then proceeded to put through a few things, ordered the MAC code and apologised profusely for the problems, even giving us a little financial apology too.

I have to admit I was moved, voice notwithstanding (HONEST!) to point out I thought she was the most helpful person I'd spoken to at her company and was anything but the horror stories I'd come to expect, generally charmed her by the sound of it as she herself admitted "I really don't hear that often on the cancellations desk!"

So there we go, there may still be a problem with switching over but SO FAR it's going to plan and therefore going unexpectedly.

Time will tell.

Maybe if there's a problem I'll get her on the phone again.... *thinking*

For those who really love it a keepable version can be sent...

So for a small amount of time we had a rating system...

See, personally I dont like that, all that will happen is friends will just rate each other as fives and one of the all-too-often blog-barneys will create a spate of one star ratings...

Do we really need that?

Having said that, the new on/offline feature looks cool, been meaning to suggest that to the blog-guys for a while.

I hate being shattered before I even leave the house to go TO work...

OK, I've been doing my impression of Angry Andy this evening, it's not normal and I don't like him but sometimes he's needed.

So, without any notification or warning AOL took a HUGE amount of money from a credit card, nothing near what the bill was last year and, again... WITH NO NOTIFICATION!

Having tried their much vaunted online live chat system I soon realised it was nothing more than an automated system that skimmed for keywords.

I then proved his by challenging the "man" to say "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers" and he didn't, so I switched off and rang them instead (after sneakily finding out an 0800 number rather than 0870...)

Finally, FINALLY got an operator on the phone and the upshot of our long conversation was that AOL felt they could happily bump my price plan up, charge me a load more (we're talking almost 100 quid more) and take it off a card without asking.

I felt the pressing need to prove that they were very VERY wrong about this...

We're now getting a refund and we're on the monthly plan so a decision can be made about our new (read: Non-AOL) broadband supplier.

From Late Night...

"On some flights the only thing airlines are letting you take on are a passport and cash. The passport, of course, for identification and the cash, so they can sell you a bottle of water for $20." --Jay Leno

"The big story still is the big terror plot foiled in Britain. Earlier today, a top official in England said, 'Britain is living through its most frightening time since the second World War.' Of course, he wasn't counting that three-year run by the Spice Girls." --Conan O'Brien

Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman lost his party's nomination for the U.S. Senate. Like the statesman he is, the senator went out with dignity -- by not going out at all. He's running as what he calls an Independent Democrat. Bravo, Senator. Never give up. Make them pry the key to the Senate wash room from your cold, dead hands. Joe, it's not your own future you're fighting for. You're fighting for the future of America." --Stephen Colbert

"President Bush, of course, is responding to the crisis. He's on vacation. That's his plan. He'll show them ... President Bush is on vacation in Texas right now. This is true. He's urging his staff to join the 100-degree club by running three miles in 100-degree heat. Experts say it's proof that the president an come up with a bad idea at any level." --Conan O'Brien

"Apparently the Dixie Chicks had to cancel 14 shows on their tour, because of slow ticket sales. There's some concern they're losing their fan base. How ironic is that? They finally have something in common with President Bush." --Jay Leno

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

- Robert Lee Frost (1874 – 1963)

Warning, it was a quickie fix so not perfect

EDIT: Now a newer version... although as I'm a perfectionist I'm still not happy!

Great, lets list off my day:

• Get train packed with grockles and Sheffield Wednesday fans so have to stand the whole way. EDIT: actually thanks to a stroke of luck I managed to get a seat and it was next to a lady with a very nice smile so that's one complaint down.
• Walk a couple miles uphill to get to work despite not feeling 100%
• Miss most of Liverpool's opening day match because I'm stuck in work.
• Wonder what the hell a football fan is doing working every Saturday, AGAIN.
• Be far too busy on this nightmare shift to blog or chat or email properly
• Be looking through results far too generally during the game to get any perspective.
• Miss the second game of the day on Sky because I'm working and traveling home, on previous experience I'll walk through the front door just as it finishes.
• Take cramped train home, again, full of Sheffield Wednesday fans.
• Get home and be grumpy because Saturday's invariably give me a headache due to stuffy studio and FAR too loud presenter (he's the only man shoutier than Barry Scott).

Woo, the football season... My excitement is tangible.

I was going to do a nice post about it being Ros' birthday but as, looking on her blog, she's been doing a good bit of blowing her own trumpet about it I thought I'd merely do something in the spirit of Ros and have some randomness!

- Your cow insists on wearing a little barbecue sauce behind each ear as scent.

- She refuses to let you milk her, saying "Not on the first date."

- Your cow takes up painting and cuts off one of its ears.

- Your cow gets a silicon implant for her udder.

- Your cow appears on Oprah, claiming to be a horse trapped in a cow's body.

- Your cow demands to be branded with the 'Golden Archs Logo'.

- Your cow insists that all Hindus are sacred.

- Your cow insists evaporated milk comes from thirsty cows.

- Your cow quits the family dairy business and applies for a job at Burger King.

- She starts giving you Milk of Amnesia.

- Your cow joins the Hell's Angels because, hey, it already has a cool leather jacket.

- Your cow starts smoking its grass rather than eating it.

- Your cow spends half the day sitting in the Lotus Position chanting "MOO" backwards.

- Your cow insists that it can give you chocolate milk if you started feeding it Hershey bars.

- Your cow asks you to brand it again but only if you'll wear something sexy this time.

- Your cow purposely blinds itself with a dart and yells "Bullseye"!

...all in one post!

Spose I should wait until 22:39:07 to say anything (Yes, I'm sad, I checked...) But today is my one year bloggiversary.

So, what's happened in the last year? 558 posts and 9266 comments, well, on this blog anyw