Or was it Bob... or S... Anyway, whatever, memory isn't what it used to be, least I didn't try and suggest Brian or something silly like that.

I'm afraid I deleted your comment, still getting the hang of this moderation lark. *shrug*

Lets just rattle off a few key phrases I've either said out loud or though today...

"Hmm, weather doesn't look too bad"

"Dinner for half 8 gives me plenty of time"

"Wow, it's so warm I can walk to work in my tshirt"

"Ha, you have rain?! It's lovely down here."

"Well, I can casually finish work, go to the station via Blockbuster and catch the train on time."

"Naah, I'll be fine, it's barely drizzling here."

And, upon leaving Blockbuster a little later than planned...

"Jeez, if I'm lucky the train might be a couple minutes late."

It must be said, when it comes to fate tempting this was superb!

I might as well have just said out loud, to God and Satan himself...

"Well, at least I wont get home three hours after leaving work thanks to a VERY late train and crappy bus, soaked right through and making DAMN sure my cold and general crappyness has the fuel to stick around for a couple more weeks, that would NEVER happen!"

OK, gonna start off with a footy rant so all my non footy liking friends feel free to ignore until the next post...

OK, now my rant is about non footy loving friends... Just kidding! Wondered how many we're still reading

So it's ANOTHER lunchtime kick-off for Liverpool, this is getting ridiculous, we're a month and a half into the new season and how many times have we kicked off at 3pm on a Saturday lunchtime?

None, nil, Nada...

I know TV money is important to keep the clubs alive while wages and fees skyrocket but I'm sick of them controlling the game, we have to have a game at 12.45, a game at 5.15, then two games on a Sunday then sometimes a game on a Monday... simply so Sky can maximise their revenue (because they dont get enough profit it seems...)

I know it might be seen as stupid by some because it gets the teams on telly for us to watch but I'm a traditionalist. To my mind there should be seven Prem matches, every Saturday at 3pm, then Sky can have 2 Sunday games and a Monday game to cash in.

25 years now since we lost one of the greatest managers the game has ever seen.

'A lot of football success is in the mind. You must believe you are the best and then make sure that you are. In my time at Anfield we always said we had the best two teams on Merseyside, Liverpool and Liverpool reserves.'

'Sickness would not have kept me away from this one. If I'd been dead, I would have had them bring the casket to the ground, prop it up in the stands, and cut a hole in the lid.'

After beating Everton in the 1971 FA Cup semi.

Shankly.com

BBC Sport Report on Shanks

'I was only in the game for the love of football - and I wanted to bring back happiness to the people of Liverpool.'

You did it Bill, you really did, and not just the people of Liverpool.

*muttered swearing*

Whole new series of spam blogs seem to have sprung to life...

Just relaxing on a day off (dont think I'm skiving, back in tomorrow!)

The cold is diminishing, down to the snuffly stage now but after last time... God knows.

Was great to see Richard Hammond in the paper this morning, walking, smiling, up and about.

I know a lot of people are moaning about adrenaline tv etc but it's what he loves doing so all power to him.

Now, on the subject of pint sized BBC presenters, Graham Norton...

Thanks to the Holy Moly mailout for this quite SUPERB letter from the man himself to The Evening Standard who strangely didn't run it... Wonder why...

Dear XXXX,

I'm Graham Norton and I shared most of page 11 in your paper yesterday with a lime tree.

As dull and irritating as this must have been for your readers, imagine how much more dull and annoying it was for me.

Essentially the entire story is a work of fiction and perhaps that is why it took two of your reporters to write it.

Happily since you are a quality paper, you managed to include two facts. I live in Wapping and someone has made a planning application to chop down a lime tree. From here on your ace journalists seem to have lifted quotes and even the picture of a tree from an article that appeared in my local paper The Docklands last week.

If only your reporters had checked some, or indeed any, of the facts.

The first clue that The Docklands isn't the Bible might have been the photograph that you reprinted yesterday. The caption says that it is the lime tree in question. Look again. Oh that's right, it is clearly a photograph of a plane tree.

Apparently I described the tree as an eyesore. Who, apart from someone who had a tree stuck in their actual eye would refer to any tree in this way? Didn't your crack team of investigative journalists find out that I'm a financial supporter of Trees For Cities?

I then go on to complain about things falling on cars and vehicles. Apart from policemen and newsreaders, has anyone uttered the word 'vehicle' aloud in the last 25 years? The journalist then heard me describe how the tree blocked light from the flats.

Mmm. I live in a terrace of single family homes. Unless Tower Hamlets has seen fit to build some low-budget accommodation for asylum seekers in the branches of the actual tree, I can't understand what flats I might be referring to.

The bottom line is that there is no dispute about this tree and if there is I have nothing to do with it.

My only argument is with lazy, stupid journalists who insult their readers with this sort of dreary rubbish. No wonder your price is going up to fifty pence if you have to pay two people to read a free local paper and reproduce every fictitious word of it.

Tree lover and fact fan,

Graham Norton

Sorry, but my esteem for the guy has just risen!

Are you Tottenham,
Are you Tottenham,
Are you Tottenham in disguise,
Aa-are you Totten-ham in dis-guise...

No explanation will be given.

Really hectic day not helped by cruddy stinking cruddy cold...

It got to the point my line manager actually came and asked if I was really ok!

But hey, I managed to do work and am pretty pleased with the results.

Lets take a little look at Sky's newest BIG show to come up...

The Big Idea stars Apprentice mega-loser Badger woman (sorry, it's reality TV, I have no clue about her real name, just that she's a bit of a bitch).

The unique formula involves inventors standing in front of a three person panel to 'sell' their idea, the winner getting investment.

Thank God it's something different from other reality TV such as BBC's Dragon's Den which involves inventors standing in front of a three person panel to 'sell' their idea, the winner... getting... investment.... Umm...

Never, NEVER suggest your cold is going before it's gone, the virals return with reinforcements...

OAK PARK, IL—Though sharply divided on the war on terror and domestic controversies such as abortion, drugs, and gay marriage, Americans are in almost unanimous agreement over one issue: that Oak Park, IL couple Dave Petrun and Julie DeSimone are totally sickening.

"It's like they think they're the first couple to ever fall in love in the history of space and time," said Boston resident Allison Clark, one of millions of people who say they want to shoot themselves in the face after observing the tender relationship between Petrun, 28, and DeSimone, 25, evolve over the last four months.

According to an ABC News–Washington Post poll released Monday, a significant majority of Americans believe the couple's persistent displays of affection, which include almost constant hand-holding, mutual giggling, and insufferably coy little kisses, were "fucking ridiculous." An overwhelming eight out of 10 polled said they wished the couple would die, preferably in a fiery automobile accident.

"If I have to see [Petrun] fiddle with [DeSimone's] fingers as they stroll around window shopping, without a care in the world, I swear to God I'm going to punch something," said Savannah, GA resident Sam Weber, whose reaction has been echoed by a broad cross-section of Americans apparently weary of the couple's brazen public displays. "These two need to face reality, and stop living in this disgusting fantasy world of theirs."

Though their initial May 30 joint outing went largely unnoticed, public opinion toward the couple dramatically shifted after it was revealed that DeSimone spooned frozen yogurt into Petrun's mouth during their second date three days later.

By the second week of June, their approval rating dropped below 40 percent in most national polls, after Petrun and DeSimone were spotted wedging their hands into each other's back pockets as they walked through an Oak Park neighborhood. By July, the rating plummeted even further after DeSimone asked Petrun which of her physical attributes he found cutest, and Petrun responded with a detailed list.

"Who are they kidding?" said Rebecca Hillard, a single mother of two in Anchorage, AK. "Once this little honeymoon is over, he's going to cheat on her with an ex-girlfriend and she'll come running to the American people to pick up the pieces. It's so obvious it's stupid."

According to a Sept. 25 Zogby poll, 36 percent of Americans grimaced when Petrun playfully nudged DeSimone for no evident reason last Thursday, and 45 percent emitted a loud, annoyed sigh after Petrun sent flowers to DeSimone's workplace last Tuesday. One in three Americans characterized the way Petrun touched the small of DeSimone's back as he led her into the backseat of an awaiting taxi on the evening of Sept. 19 as "completely unnecessary."

"The girl knows how to get into a cab without help," said Adam Burkheimer, a Shreveport, LA resident and recent divorcé. "I don't get all the constant pawing."

On Wednesday, support lines across the country were flooded with calls complaining of moderate or intense nausea after DeSimone refused, and then eventually accepted, Petrun's hooded sweatshirt during an evening walk.

Online anti-canoodling blogs, such as the popular davejuliebarf.typepad.com, are buzzing with rumors that Petrun and DeSimone broke into a brief, spontaneous slow dance near a Lake Street fountain on Sept. 20.

"Apparently the pussywhipped douchebag smiles when he sees her name on caller ID, too," blogger Jessie Fox said. "If they love each other so goddamn much, why don't they just get married and live happily ever fucking after?"

In recent weeks, elected officials in Nevada, South Dakota, and Virginia passed largely symbolic "Get A Room" ordinances designed to encourage Petrun and DeSimone to make their affectionate displays more private. Conversely, Ococee, FL banned Petrun and DeSimone from getting a room within its city limits.

While Petrun and DeSimone's behavior does not qualify as a nuisance under any current statutes, the Chicago and San Francisco city councils unanimously passed a joint proclamation encouraging the pair to tone it down.

Read the proclamation in part: "Whereas Dave and Julie are embarking on their first serious relationship, and whereas the odds of it lasting are slim to none, and whereas their ability to make seamless conversation, to instinctively know what the other is thinking, and to relate the story of how the two met when they were randomly seated next to one another on airplane has made nearly 300 million people want to gag, therefore, our cities hereby strongly urge Dave and Julie to really consider breaking up immediately."

Unavailable for comment, Petrun and DeSimone are reportedly making plans to go backpacking across Europe during their six-month anniversary in November, prompting fears that their demonstrativeness could escalate international tensions.

CLICK HERE AND SIGN UP!

*Sitting back and waiting to see how many people think this is a real story...*

Hmm, so lets clear up the best bit, the cold is going, woo! just a bit snuffly right now.

Didn't go into work till later so had a bit of a lie in, then a bearable trip into work, although it's been raining down here

I've had one of those... helping days.

Was in work simply to help someone make some trails, bought my mum a HUGE book from a charity shop just cause, went to B&Q qith my sister purely to lug around a boiler, a radiator and a flue and now... well, now I've given CJ the link to the new Office Beta, what more can a day hold?!

Well, one more thing, my Sky mag had Miss Knightley in it so for the benefit of a couple blokes on here (I still say she's too skinny for me) here is how to get Keira...

"I think every woman is looking for her Mr Darcy,. I'd go with a little bit brooding because that's terribly romantic. Someone you can have a good conversation with, a good argument with, and who will always keep you guessing and make you laugh - that's my criteria, it's quite broad really!"

Ceej? You're in mate!

Use this Web 2.0 bulls--t generator...

Then find yourself a few more buzzword phrases...

Then find yourself a company name and project...

Then finally, make a company logo!

Still feeling cruddy but not as much, I can confidently say that this is definitely just a cold, not flu, man-flu, parisian blue elm flu etc. It's just a steeenking cold...

Bah.

Work was largely down today, feeling very put upon and stressed about a few things but hey, we can't have everything can we?

So up and down right now so blogs may be weird...

Feel like crap for so many reasons... gonna get an early night.

In the words of Green Day, wake me up when September ends...

Fuzzy head, blocked sinuses, blocked and achey throat, temperature and nastyness...

Recent Quips from Late Night...

"Hillary Clinton's opponent in the U.S. Senate race, the Republican she's going to be running against, has been married three times, had an affair with his chief of staff, had two kids with her while still married to his second wife. This is the first time in history that a Clinton is the 'family values' candidate." --Jay Leno

"A new season of 'Survivor' debuted tonight featuring the controversial idea of separating the tribes by race. The Asian tribe is called Puka Puka, the African-American tribe is called Manihiki, and the Caucasian tribe is called the Republicans." --Conan O'Brien

"General Colin Powell shocked a lot of people in Washington by speaking out against President Bush's policies, saying that the world is beginning to doubt the moral basis of our fight against terrorism. That's what I think he said -- it was hard to hear him because he was being hustled out of the room to his cell in Guantanamo Bay." --Jay Leno

"This week, President Bush said he has no plans to invade North Korea. Bush said, 'This time, Rumsfeld and I are going to wing it.'." --Conan O'Brien

"The hot gossip in Washington is that Condoleezza Rice might have a new boyfriend. Secretary of State Rice is being linked to Canada's Foreign Minister, Peter MacKay. It's gotta be awkward dating a fellow diplomat. Like today, MacKay had to promise Condi he would get permission from the U.N. before he invaded her." --Jay Leno

"The U.S. House of Representatives passed a bill to build a 700-mile fence along the Mexican border. Apparently, the idea is to keep Mexicans from getting back home." --Conan O'Brien

"Big scandal on the new 'Survivor' series. The white, the black and the Hispanic teams were caught cheating off the Asian team." --Jay Leno

OK, after Cartlionel posted hers... Here's about 80% of my book collection, the main shelves are piled three books deep, the lower shelf of bigger books is two books deep...

A bit chainy and very noisy but, not a bad room...

Two beds... TWO!?

Ahh, just before going out... Simpsons on the telly!

By the way (sorry, out of kilter this week...)

Belated Happy Birthday to Rock Chick and Happy Birthday to Miss Helly for today!

Firstly, I have an apology to make. I edited my previous posts to get rid of the disclaimers at the bottom of my last set of posts before then finding comments that people liked them (especially Helly it would seem... ) so my apologies for that, I couldn't get into blog or my own email but did have my Beeb email account.

So, anyway, I'm back.

The course went ok, I got on well with everyone else which was my worry and I picked up all the stuff well enough to not feel a total doofus.

All my emails and comments are now sorted I think, I have read back to all my friends blogs but haven't really commented much, just cause it's all a bit late now etc, it's not that I haven't read em though

Anyway, having a bit of a sucky time, work has... well, work have dropped what appears to be a HUGE bombshell on me, and not a good one.

It could be because it's something I've feared happening but... We'll see.

It's pretty good to be back.

I'm hooOOOooome...

And bloody knackered after a hectic stressy week and a nightmare journey.

Plus 452 emails... Jesus people, it was only three and a half days!

Can't cope now, proper correspondance over the weekend.

Day 2b

Still feeling funny in the head but woo, first piece edited!

It's crap but still, woo!

Of training,

Got an earache and a slight headache, woohoo...

Right, trainers have just arrived so this will be short and sweet.

Not sure this will work...

Emailing in a little post… if it works!

Most of the way through training day 1 and everything is going well so heres hoping!

Anyway, hope you're all well

Better go now I'm afraid, going back to work!

To see if this will work...

...Got a few minutes so in the way of a blog addict, here's a quick post...

In a survey of 4-8 year olds, kids share their views on love. But what do little kids know about love?

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on aftershave and they go out and smell each other."

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."

"Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at him because you know it would hurt his feelings."

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."

"Love is if you hold hands and sit beside each other at lunch. That means you're in love. Otherwise, you can sit across from each other and be okay."

"Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redbird."

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."

"You can break love, but it won't die."

Gawd, I'm nervous... Right, logging off now, take care y'all.

Hmm, could possibly be a bit of a break before my next evening session online due to being waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay away from home.

I'm off to a training session in rainy, cold, dismal Newcastle for a few days.

Got a lovely long train journey tomorrow, starting at lunchtime, then two and half fairly intensive days of training (we do in two and a half days what others do in three weeks...) then hopping back on a train for another long trip back on the train, maybe getting back home VERY late Friday night.

So my blogging, chatting etc will be curtailed, I MIGHT be able to get on during the day, I MIGHT be able to get on in the evening, the hotel is supposed to have high speed broadband in each room but I still havent managed to get hold of them to find out how (cause I keep forgetting to ring) and if I need to take my laptop... Although I might just take it anyway, DVDs and games etc will make the trip shorter!

However... I understand that we have a tradition to uphold of BBC staff on training to paint the town red... especially if Liverpool beat the Toon Wednesday night...

SO... will I blog again tonight? Who knows! I just thought I'd make sure I explained my absence early.

Proofread texts before reading them in case of spoofs...