We never fear the fall when we're jumping as high as we can, one day we'll forget about it all together and then we'll fly.

I've had a bad day.

I'm sat here still doing work which is not great but I've got so much I need to do it's the only way.

Seems quiet at the moment, part my brain, part me working and part people aren't around.

Spose I could ring em but brain wont let me do that.

Aaaanyway, back to mixing.

What was I blogging one year ago.

Gawd, the shock is that I DIDN'T...

Unbelievably I went from the 27th to the 1st of December without posting and even those were random football related crap.

BUT, I've decided to ressurect this post from the 22nd of November 2005... because I like it, so there.

Rules for your superhero name
by ajnspencer @ 22/11/05 - 20:33:27
Don't call yourself by your real name: e.g., The Incredible Jenny Pinchuck, The Amazing Stevie Foster.

Don't call yourself by someone else's real name: e.g., Super Teddy Kennedy, Captain Dean Martin.

Choose a name that suggests power, heroism and prowess: e.g., Captain Power, Thunderman, Mr. Invincible, Justiceman.

Don't be too modest: e.g., Mr. Pretty Good, Captain So-so, Fairly Incredibleman, Captian Invincible on a good day.

But don't labor the point: e.g., Mr. So-Powerful- Don't-Even-Think-About-It-Buddy.

Don't choose a name detrimental to your crime fighting image: e.g.,Captain Spongecake, Mr. Silly, Yellow Streak, Purple Slippers, Captain Sweetiepie.

Don't choose the name of an existing Superhero unless you have lots of money and enjoy fighting litigation instead of supervillains.

It's no use calling yourself Captain Invincible if your only power is control over Hostess Twinkies and you suffer from a congenial hole-in-the-heart condition. It's just asking for trouble.

Don't call yourself the Invisible Boy if you're not.

Don't call yourself the Invisible Boy if you're a girl.

Don't give away important information in your name, e.g. The Glass Jaw, Captain Vulnerable To Strontium 90.

Don't call yourself The Green Avenger if you wear an orange costume. You'll confuse people.

Interesting to see my post previous to that was bitching about "I'm a Non-Entity, Get Me Out Of Here"...

Some shit is eternal.

In my email I recieve a presser titled:

"Feeling stressed this Christmas?"

No... now come here so I can tie your carotid artery in a knot...

So, what greets me on the from page of the Daily Wail?

This

Dont force your morality on us? Turn that around, don't YOU force your morality on the increasingly large percentage of people in this country who aren't "proper" christians in your eyes, in other words anyone who doesn't have beliefs verging on Hitleresque.

I really enjoyed the decision they'll shut their adoption agencies rather than have children given to gay couples. Oh good, fuck with some kids lives. If you're lucky they can just carry on living in squalor getting abused by priests rather than in a good home with loving parents.

For God's sake (yes, I'm not blaspheming, I MEAN His sake) we've seen just here on this site a gay couple can make not just good carers for kids, but GREAT ones.

Reading the comments is even worse, a whole clan of bigotted, racist Daily Wail readers.

Maybe they should realise the church has no sway in this country, they no longer (thank, if I may say it, God) have control and influence, they're simply one of a number of choices.

I don't like this government but I don't like any government, no government CAN be liked because it does things like taxes and every decision will anger some group of people/newspapers (although war? That's a pretty good one to piss off everyone...)

However, they're in charge of the country, without ANY say from the churches, it's a life choice to go to church or believe what they preach, it shouldn't become a basis of law.

It's time for these people to realise something.

It's your soul that counts, it's how you live your life. Some guy called Jesus came out with that type of philosophy (allegedly). The people on that message board have souls so dark they're Lucifer-fodder.

Of course, if people can't handle an open minded, civilised society that doesnt bow to rules set thousands of years ago?

Bugger off to the USA bible belt.

Sorry, rant over.

...was as reliable as unreliability...

...including me.

Recent Quips From Late Night

"According to the Washington Times, there's a revolt brewing among Republicans in the House. People are, of course, shocked by this. There are still Republicans in the House?" --Jay Leno

"President Bush on Monday met for more than an hour with the independent panel examining strategic options for Iraq and cautioned afterward that while he's open to new ideas, he'd like them to come only from people who agree with him." --Amy Poehler

"A recent study shows that Osama bin Laden wields a surprisingly low amount of influence over Islamic ideology. They don't listen to him. I don't want to say Osama's losing power, but you want to know what his al Qaeda code name is now? Donald Rumsfeld." --Jay Leno

"President Bush, trying to gain international support in Iraq ... met with leaders in Vietnam. ... Experts say nothing builds support for a war like a trip to Vietnam." --Conan O'Brien

"President Bush now in his eight day trip to China. His approval rating is 31%. Not good. To give you an idea of how unpopular President Bush is, on Air Force One now, he can't even get the window seat." --Jay Leno

1. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

3. On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared.

4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

6. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.

7. Healthy-appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

8. The patient refused autopsy.

9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the last three days.

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

14. She is numb from her toes down.

15. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

16. The skin was moist and dry.

17. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

18. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.

20. Rectal examination revealed a normal-size thyroid.

21. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

26. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. ____, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

27. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

28. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night.

29. Patient was found in bed with her power mower.

Eddie Izzard Boxset.

Got from the Manchester Evening News

Thanksgiving Weather Forecast

In the pre-Thanksgiving rush, we have received an early weather report from our in-house weather reporters.

Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190F. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.

During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other. Please pass the gravy.

A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway. During the evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34F in the refrigerator.

Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat sandwiches will be established. Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup late in the day. We expect a warming trend where soup develops. By early next week, eating pressure will be low as the only wish left will be the bone.

Heather had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience.

Seeing God, she asked "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, Heather, you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"

God replied, "Heather, is that you?!"

And the moral is... be yourself, it's the way you get the most out of life.

Ever the rebel doing something different.

Here are a few genuine news bloopers gleaned from newspapers. These were taken from an article by Richard Lederer, author of "Anguished English."

- On behalf of Barbara Rutledge and her family, our sincere thanks go out to those sending flowers, cards and contributing to the death of her husband.

- The airplane was only a few feet from the ground when it crashed, witnesses said.

- With the exception of victimless crimes (which need not concern us here), every single crime committed in this nation of ours involves a victim.

- A purple lady's bicycle was missing from Serendipity Lane recently.

- Chairman Billings asked Board members to muster support from parent-teacher groups to support the governor's task force on driving while intoxicated.

- He hasn't even had his day in court yet, but Simon Wynne has been kicked off the ESU basketball team after being arrested and accused of driving a parked car while intoxicated.

- Montreal police don't hesitate to use whatever laws, regulations or persuasion they feel they need to control morality in the city and prevent it from getting a foothold.

- A college friendship that began a year ago ended in matrimony yesterday.

"On Tuesday night, in an ironic turnaround, Iraq brought regime change to the U.S." --Amy Poehler

"This was a big week. Democrats won in places they were never even competitive before--like America." --Bill Maher

"Germany is filing a war crimes lawsuit against Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld for allegedly allowing the torture of prisoners in Iraq and Guantanamo Bay. Man, that's when you know you've crossed the line -- when Germans are accusing you of war crimes." --Jay Leno

"Yesterday, Bush had lunch with the new Democratic Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. I believe the main course was Rumsfeld's head on a platter." --Jay Leno

"I don't want to say that George Bush is a lame duck, but this morning, Cheney shot him." --Bill Maher

"President Bush, on Wednesday, held a news conference where he vowed to work with the new Democratic majority. Which, if true, can only mean one thing -- the Democrats have a nuclear bomb." --Amy Poehler

"On Thursday, the Army launched its new recruitment slogan, 'Army Strong,' which replaces their previous slogan, 'Army of One.' Meanwhile, the Navy is sticking with their recruiting slogan, 'Iraq: It's Almost Entirely Landlocked.'." --Seth Meyers

Simon was a God-fearing man who took care to live his life right and never asked for anything for 42 years.

However he fell into a deep prolem with money, his business was going down the tubes and he was in desperate straights.

So he went to church and prayed "Lord, in 42 years this is the first time I've prayed for financial gain, but I need you, please let me win the lottery this Saturday?"

Saturday came and went and Simon didn't win so he returned and asked the Lord for a win on Wednesday, still to no avail.

After four weeks he threw himself to the floor and said, "Lord, 8 lotteries now and still no win, why have you forsaken me?!"

There's a crack of thunder and a loud booming voice rings out "MEET ME HALFWAY SIMON, BUY A FUCKING TICKET!"

"My God, what's going on here?!"

"Well," said the doctor. "He has a nasty medical condition with the overproduction of sperm, he has to 'release' five times a day!"

The bigwig nods and moves on, pitying the man his complaint.

Just two rooms later they peek in on a different patient to find a young attractive nurse kneeling on the bed giving him a blowjob.

"What's this?!" Exclaimed the bigwig.

The doctor just shrugged and said "BUPA..."

Dunno what to say.

Should say something.

Good motives become bad ideas.

Too early and yet now maybe too late.

Ever think "why do I bother?"

Sometimes bothering too much is more dangerous than not bothering enough.

I have, so far today, had four different shift patterns given to me for next week.

I think I know which one is the proper one...

I've been spending too much tyime on PCs/screens recently, my eyes are feeling funny, all dry and the right one is twitching every so often.

Not good.

Back to work then... Days off never seem to last that long...

Had a really fitful sleep last night, dunno why but at least it let me lie in bed listening to the rain.

There's just something... comfy about lying in a warm bed listening to the rain hammer down, especially when you're too tired to remember you have to go out in it the next morning...

Oh, as an aside, I was told on that writing course you couldn't use ellipses, the three dots to lead someone on... I use them all the time!

OK, so, as I've previously stated, my DVD's arrived yesterday, well, some of them.

I may have mentioned one sad geeky DVD and had a couple queries... Well, I figured I'd own up, it was only £2.64 and well... umm... This is it...

To add a little more detail to my excuse... this was the first movie I ever owned as a kid, when I was given it I even asked "how long can I keep it for?"

So sentimental value... as well as sci-fi nerdy heaven...

*Relaxation*

Finally, a day off! Woo!

So I'm crashed out with a number of my DVD purchases from the aforementioned WH Smiths sale, watching series 1 of Doc Martin.

After the last few days I need this, no timetables, nobody either complaining about what I am doing or what I'm not and the only reason to be on a PC is to chat to you guys and surf some websites.

Plus things have been way too down lately.

blog

Feeling much better today, still a little bit... bleugh but it'll pass.

Also feeling wound up and complainey though, had some real crap recently in work, both big and little niggles so I'm keeping my head down, keeping quiet and doing what I do hidden away in my little office.

Which, you may be surprised to hear isn't just blogging...

Headache, ill feeling, REALLY bad crampy ache in the back of the neck.

Don't I just feel perky right now.

Highlight of the day?

Juzzy's PP about headlines popping into my inbox the very instant we began the section on headlines on the course.

Maybe two bloggers gone, one a very, VERY long standing friend who helped me get settled on the site and probably kept me blogging, one, a rare chatter but good person and someone I was just going to ask politely if I could add to my friends list.

Sometimes things happen in the heat of the moment, I'm hoping returning happens too.

Life's too short, we have to treasure the things we have that are good for us and tolerate those which aren't.

I have to go to Bristol to learn how to write.

That'll be fun, won't it children.

There's a new series of I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here! on TV!!!

*Running around collecting popcorn, cola and munchies befoer crashing on the sofa, grabbing the remote... and switching on a Live Weird Al concert*

Thank the Lord, I've got something else to watch!