*straightens the tuxedo and takes Subs' arm to go sit down*

Bloscar time people!

Course, if the rest of this Bloscars setup is anything to go by I'll be sat up in the lighting booth doing the effects

And yes... you can nick the gif if anyone wants it...

Congratulations, I know reaching 21 is a special day in every girls life...

...ok, here goes.

I occasioanlly get Blog Block as many of you know and a post from a friend made me click an idea in my head.

It would be the "Make AJ Blog Random Crap" contest...

The plan is I set up some way for people to enter words, phrases, feelings etc that I could blog about, either a post, some photshoppery, a song etc.

A final one from the selection each week is then picked by an independant adjudicator/neutral party and I'd have to do my blog post about said idea.

A sort of "Who's Line Is It Anyway" improv thing.

Now, two questions; for blogland in general... whaddya think and to the two involved in the original... can I plagerise you if I promise to do it gently and not smoke after.

A man walks into an Liverpool pub and says, "I'll give anyone £1000 if they can drink 10 Guinness's in 10 minutes."

Most people just ignore the absurd bet and go back to their conversations. One guy even leaves the bar.

A little while later that guy comes back and asks the man, "Is that bet still on?"

"Sure," he says.

So the bartender lines 10 Guinness' up on the bar and the man drinks them all in less than 10 minutes.

As the guy hands over the money he asks, "Where did you go when you just left?"

The Blogger and Journalist man answers, "I went next door to the other pub to see if I could do it."

...dedicated to Subarella.

Me and a sale for CDs don't mix... actually allow me to repharse that, they mix FAR too well...

So I'm now ripping my gleaming new 8 CDs while flicking across blogs, largely hoping to stay up to date as I will be, shock horror, not online for most of tonight due to my rhino-watching duties at the local zoo (long story...)

OK, now here's the football bit... (Sorry Subs)

Loving the aftermath of the Carling Cup Final, Arsene Whinger is at his persecution-complex-addled best with "there's always a worry with the FA, I dont think anything major happened"...

So Arsey, lets just round up. In an INTERNATIONALLY televised game watched by innumerable small, impressionable wannabe footballers (and I dont just mean Theo Walcott) a bunch of grown men who are each paid the gross national product of Luxembourg a week throw a collective hissy fit and go all handbags-at-dawn.

At the end of a cup final in a competition that has so far been highlighted by innumerable bright moments of exceptional football (including mr Whinger, your own team's demolition of mine at Anfield, credit where it's due... not something you understand of course...) you think it is "nothing major" to have a brawl that got so bad you and Mourinho had to leave the benches and play peacemaker.

Just to reiterate... you made Jose Mourinho be a peacemaker... how bad does a situation have to be to make THAT happen!?

The fact is Arsey that is why (apologies to Ros, Cazza and Jenni) I actually wanted Chelski to win.

They're arrogant, egotistical and buy championships... but somehow they, led largely by John "The Invincible" Terry, are so less infuriating than you, lets be blunt, they have more CLASS...

So Mr Whinger, I know you'll never read this but still, allow me to pass on a little message.

Your "I didn't see it" attitude has gone far enough, you and your team flounce around seeming to believe everyone should allow you to win, you are, to my chagrin, the same as Liverpool were in the 90s.

Perhaps this is due to your captain, Henry has always been a little petulant so when he is complemented by your own insecurites maybe a general persecution feeling resides in the entire squad, they believe they didn't do anything wrong, the world was wrong for not being the way they want it to be.

The fact is, it has reached a head, your attitude made me want Chelsea to win something!!!

That is a totally inexcusable state of affairs, so when the FA inevitably fine your club and players (hopefully recinding Adebayor's red card and giving it to Eboue, the rightful recipient, although with Adebayor's abuse at the ref...) do not complain, do not whine that the FA and the world at large are against you, just realise that your team did something wrong and deserve to be punished.

Or do football a favour and go manage an ice hockey team, fighting antics are allowed there.

I love this song...

Specially for the people on here who are MY light and day...

Nicked from... well, half the bloody site!

Grab the book closest to you, turn to page 123, go down three sentences, then write the next three sentences...

OK, well, I have two books the same distance away from me so you get it twice, one I was reading the other was a charity shop buy:

Tony Hawks, A Piano In The Pyrenees -

"Er, yes, I'm not sure if that would be playing to my strengths though."
From the kitchen an English voice interupted us, it sounded familiar and I looked up and, dog like, cocked my head.
"Who's that?" I asked.

Adrian Edmonson, The Gobbler -

The little old man had unlocked a heavy grey door and led Julian out of the vast open spaces of the foyer to a perplexing maze of low-ceilinged, grey painted breeze block corridors.
Now as his guide shuffled along in front, turning left, then right, then left again, and down a flight of stairs tonto a floor exactly the same as the one they had just left, Julian looked at each door they passed and wondered whose dressing rooms they might be. He was filled with a deep jealousy.

- When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

- The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

- The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.

- I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this.

- Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort.

- Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping; they can actually curl up in a ball.

- It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.

- My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

- For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years, canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

Yesterday was fairly good... today promises to not hit that high standard.

Problem 1: Buses replacing trains.

Problem 2: Working on a Saturday.

Problem 3: Trying to teach someone who doesn't really want to learn.

I am feeling completely unenthused about today so far so if anyone has any inspirational words, jokes or a spare sniper rifle I can borrow...

Turns out due to working regulations I can't work more than 20 days in any four week accounting period, so although I'm needed in work they can't hire me without paying me overtime rate... which amounts to they can't hire me!

How ridiculous is that, work wanted me to work 21 days, I'm quite happy to work 21 days... and yet I can't because, it would appear, of some working regulations set down in concrete from Europe...

Lets be logical a second... 21 days from 28 in a four week timeframe...

That's only 3 quarters, are you telling me that it's legally wrong to work more than that and that people really HAVE to have over a quarter of every month off?

Bah, don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-Europe but I hate these laws, from home or abroad that have no flexibility, I'm sure some bod from the court of human rights blah, blah will be trying to tell me it's all to stop Latvian children working 26 hours a day... yes, yes, all well and good but give people a shot at doing what they WANT to do.

So now someone in Europe owes me a days wages... and I will be collecting them.

Course if I was a freelancer it wouldn't matter...

It took me until 2.15 this morning... but I will be walking to work with a fully loaded Zen!

Well, musically fully loaded, still have to look into what vids I want on it!

I am going to try and finish the week far better than it's gone so far so lets hope for a good Friday and maybe even a good Saturday!

I have run across a problem with my new player already.

Well, in fact it's not the new player as much as my collection of media.

I started the sync before half seven, it's now after half one and it's still going...

The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped, exhausted.

His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word.

"My, you look tired," she said. "You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?"

"It was terrible," her husband said, "The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking."

...A little late.

But does it count that most of my workmates threw a Paddy today...

It's funny reading back cause to me 14,000 tracks actually seems excessive, especially considering I've still got a pile of CDs to rip (see, CDs, I am legal Mr RIAA...).

But the thing is music is important, even vital to me, my life has to have a soundtrack.

As soon as I leave the house, it's headphones on, MP3 player on. I always have my entire music database set on random play and I can't believe the amount of times it threw up a song I'd forgotten about, or a song that means something but I hadn't heard for, I soon realise, FAR too long.

I skip through, I change, I randomly go for a specific track, it all depends what type of mood I'm in, my music is eclectic like you wouldn't believe and it's all right for some time in my life.

It helps music is a huge part of my career, especially now after my last sideways promotion. It's about finding the right track for the right thing.

A feature or trail on the radio can really be made or destroyed with the pick of music, I have to sit there for ages sometimes because I know what the sound is I want to put across and need to find exactly that.

It's silly really because the words are the most important part, but then I've always thought music doesn't detract fom everything else, it complements it, it can be the main dish if that's what you want but more often it's the condiment to life, it adds to it, embellishes it.

Music is emotive and I could tell some horror stories of music people have chosen for things, to some of you it may seem strange, you may think it doesnt matter that much but it really, really does!

I thought getting into a job where I'm constantly cutting, editing, changing music to suit might give me a more negative outlook on it but I still think if you have music in your life, something can go right.

So that's my justification for buying my new MP3 player :P

"Senator Joseph Lieberman said Tuesday that Congress should consider war on terrorism taxes. Or, as they are currently known, taxes." --Seth Meyers

"Justice Department officials have determined that a president of the United States does have the legal authority to have someone killed ... in the United States. And today, Bill Clinton withdrew his support for Hillary." --Jay Leno

"Earlier today, Senator Barack Obama announced his candidacy for president. Upon hearing the news, Hillary Clinton punched a pillow so hard it turned into a diamond." --Amy Poehler

"Famous designer Donatella Versace has recommended that Hillary Clinton stop wearing those pant suits and start wearing dresses and skirts. Versace said Hillary should treat femininity as an opportunity. You know, the way Bill does." --Jay Leno

"The rumor in Hollywood right now is that Al Gore may announce he's running for president during a speech at the Academy Awards. That's right folks, they found a way to make Oscar speeches even more boring." --Conan O'Brien

"This Sunday, February 11th, is a very important day in our nation's history. It is the one-year anniversary of Dick Cheney shooting an old man in the face. It is widely regarded as the greatest comedy event of the century. The AARP is using the occasion to remind seniors not to go hunting with the vice president. ... It could turn out to be the least damaging thing the Bush administration ever does." --Jimmy Kimmel

"We're learning more and more about that crazy astronaut. ... She told the police that she was involved with another astronaut and that it was more than a working relationship, but less than a romantic relationship. Or, as the Clintons call it, 'marriage.'" --Jay Leno

...can shut up, he has no idea what a bad day is till he's had MINE...

I'm going to sulk now, surf around and play with my new Zen when it's charged.

...so the blog design is changed in tribute!

If anyone had the insanity to buy THIS... Would it be realistic and end up on the carpet every time anyone went within 10 feet of it?

(Sorry, I know, football post! Thank Vieira for the link...)

Played Okami and beaten another boss (Still love that game)

Surfed the net a bit.

Partly sorted my mp3 collection.

Trust me, number three is not as easy as it might sound... I'm a little slapdash with my music so end up with copies and versions and bits hither and thither so I sat down today to fix it.

Only on the S's now and I've got rid of 500 or more tracks that were duplicates, partly with the help of a little prog called noclone that searches out duplicate songs but it can;t be perfect cause I've got different bitrates etc and sometimes songs can be a couple seconds different depending on album.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, reading through 14,000+ song titles for duplicates is not fun...

A teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each 6-7 year old child in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.

- As you shall make your bed so shall you... mess it up.
- Better be safe than... punch a 10 year old.
- Strike while the ... bug is close.
- It's always darkest before... daylight savings time.
- You can lead a horse to water but... how?
- Don't bite the hand that... looks dirty.
- A miss is as good as a... mister.
- You can't teach an old dog new... math.
- If you lie down with the dogs, you'll... stink in the morning.
- The pen is mightier than the... pigs.
- An idle mind is... the best way to relax.
- Where there's smoke, there's... pollution.
- Happy the bride who... gets all the presents.
- A penny saved is... not much.
- Two's company, three's... the musketeers.
- Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and... you have to blow your nose.
- Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded.
- When the blind leadeth the blind... get out of the way.

...I am sick of working Saturdays.

But now the ability to dump them seems even further away.

I keep trying to tell myself the slack attitude and self-importance of a workmate isn't my concern, it's a worry for management.

But if it screws me over it's hard not to, don't we all wish we could try and just do what we feel like doing and not anything else in our job description we don't.

I had just, just decided I didnt need to buy the new Zen MP3 player.

So today Dabs.com send me a voucher...

I've been playing Okami, prompted to get it after we got a promo copy from a marketing company at work, although I had to send it back because we couldnt give it away.

It's... amazing. That simple.

It's not the gameplay or anything that much, although it is fun - dont get me wrong, but just the whole package.

I have to admit I like shoot-em-ups but things a little less gore-fuelled I actually prefer.

It's a Japanese RPG based around a great myth storyline that has you as a God in white wolf form.

It's beautiful and very relaxing because it's more cerebral that visceral, it's certainly not massively violent even though there is fighting, but it's all about bringing life back to the area, you have a magic brush and paint japanese symbols with it, making the grass and flowers grow, the trees bloom... it really is great, very soul-heartening.

And absolutely gorgeous...

The entire game is drawn like a japanese silk painting, unrealistic but graphically beautiful and highly creative, just take a look...

Today has been one of those days!

All the most irritating people have been... well, irritating and slowly my stress point has raised to the "I may just kill someone" level...

Breathing now and counting to 10...

Hopefully tomorrow will be a lot less stressed if everyone has got their need to irritate me out of their system!

By the way, looking at photos from the Brits (where Devonian lads Muse won best live act) and looking at the "star" Amy Winehouse... umm, HOW rough do you look lady?

Jeez, even a bargepole wouldnt be long enough and I get the feeling she'll be keeping Robbie company soon, you know Amy, theres a valid REASON they wanted you to go to Rehab...

I shut down for a day and end up in the top 20?

Something here is screwed... Did you all enjoy looking at me not here?!

...for a bit, just today at the most, not long term.

What a day...

The weather outside is frightful, had all manner of... difficulties at work.

Generally feel a bit duff actually, not bad just a bit...

Fneugh.

I'll get over it, please hold on caller, normal service will be resumed.

...up far earlier than I wanted to be.

Well, not NOW because I'd usually be up now but I ended up getting up about an hour ago

Tired and will more than likely fall asleep on the train again, just hope I wake up in time or I'll end up in Cornwall... eep!

(Interesting fact about Cornwall, you get in for free but have to pay to leave... says a lot that...)

So, what am I doing with my extra hour? Am I:

A:- Thinking up ways I could make work better?

B:- Planning the first design of my multi-million pound invention that will make me richer than Abramovic?

C:- Composing poetry that will calm the savage beast and bring a new gentler, more loving, aura to the entire planet through it's clever use of rhyming couplets?

D:- Gazing at the Zen MP3 player on Amazon now the price has dropped and wondering how to solve the problem that due to fecking work I havent managed to do something I didn't know I needed to do till last weekend and now may be too late?

Answers on a postcard please...