Actual Newspaper Headlines

* Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
* Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says
* Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
* Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
* Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
* Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
* Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
* Prostitutes Appeal To Pope
* Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
* British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands
* Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms
* Eye Drops Off Shelf
* Teachers Strike Idle Kids
* Clinton Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
* Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
* Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told
* Miners Refuse To Work After Death
* Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant
* Stolen Painting Found By Tree
* Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter
* Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years
* Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One
* War Dims Hope For Peace
* If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While
* Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
* Deer Kill 17,000
* Enfields Couple Slain, Police Suspect Homicide
* Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
* Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
* Man Struck By Lightening Faces Battery Charge
* New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group
* Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft
* Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
* Chef Throws His Heart In Helping Feed Needy
* Arson Suspect Held In Massachusetts Fire
* Ban On Soliciting Dead In Trotwood
* Local High School Dropout Cuts In Half
* New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
* Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors