Hmm, having one of those nights...

I have this blog, an html blog, a sci-fi blog, a photoshop blog, a movie/music blog and a satirical news blog...

And I can't think of a single thing to post in any of them.

OK, so that is stupid, I can think of this very post in fact but you know what I mean, all I'm doing right now is writing about not having anything to write...

I suppose that's what blogging is about, sometimes real conversation is the same I suppose, deep meaningful chat's are great and all but there's still a few times where conversation is but the traditional platitudes...

How are you? Hows the family? Weather's nice/bad isn't it?

I suppose it's just a simple way of saying "I like talking to you", "I care" or, yes, admittedly "I'm bored".

So can't blogs be like that too?

After all, I do like talking to you, I do care and yes... I am bored

See HERE

1) Shakespeare or the Bible.
Hmm, this is a weird one considering a lot of Shakespeare's work is almost directly comparable to the bible, an account of history for which there's often little evidence or simply ignored evidence (Richard III for example? not deformed or that nasty...)

I'd probably say Shakespeare simply because I read to be entertained, other religious tales are more interesting for that side of things.

2) Most romantic moment in fiction.
Mort fighting Death over loving his daughter... Oh c'mon, really, this is me!

3) Favourite word?
Depends on the situation! Pish Tosh or piffle are nice and fun to say, as is weasel.

4) Most overrated writer
Thomas Hardy or *deep breath* JK Rowling

5) Most underrated writer
Tom Holt, doesn't seem to have the fame of Pratchett or Rankin but writes great books, well, I think so.

6) Best meal in literature
Dinner...

7) Favourite novel in translation
Umm, does a book of the film count?!

8) Favourite children's book
Easily the Narnia books.

9) Books by your bedside
Right now The Third Girl by Agatha Christie, the rest of my mahoosive book collection os the other side of the room threatening to fall on me.

10) Sexiest book
I honestly don't know... I don't have that many books with sex in.

OK, having a bit of a convo about Ceej's top 100 films to see before you die (see a few posts below) has reminded me of one of my earliest movie related memories.

I remember being nowt but a lad and... well, not being sent upstairs to read exactly but being told it might be to my advantage, my Dad did much the same thing.

The reason given was that Kramer vs Kramer was on TV and my mum and sisters wanted to watch it. I was told I probably wouldn't like it and as it didn't have aliens, gadgets, superpowers or swords in it anywhere I was inclined to agree.

Now, imagine my surprise when I saw they'd specifically got snuggly clothes etc, hot drinks and LOTS of tissues on hand, this wasn't movie preparations, this was what happened when you're ill!

I admit to having a fukkit moment and going to lose myself in a book, something that always has been and always will be a favourite pastime of mine.

So, about an hour and a half later I come downstairs for a drink and hear, not just crying but SOBBING... there they were, all three, crying their eyes out as if somebody close has died... my little boy mind was slightly tempered by suggestions everything was fine but something has stayed unanswered ever since.

Why, WHY do you watch something that will make you blub like a small girl who's just been told her pony was shot for having a broken leg and as it fell it landed, squashing her kitten, three gerbils and a rabbit.

I watch movies to laugh, to enjoy myself, to distract my mind from the mundanity of life... not to watch something that'll make me sad, I have life to do that...

If a movie is going to be a sad, emotion filled affair with a depressing ending I'll dive off and find something, anything else that I can watch (except Big Brother).

If I leave a movie crying it'll either be cause it was very bad or I tripped over a chair on my way out and broke my arm...

So, an unnamed prize can go to ANYbody who can give me a good reason why you'll love to sit down and watch something that makes you unhappy.

I spent some of today trying to teach a guy at work (one who is no IT slouch) how to do a bit of my job so when I'm off he can cover.

Only problem? I'm a really, horrendously, abysmally, F-Minus graded teacher.

If I'm not using jargon I'm going too fast because I get really impatient if I can't do something NOW and it carries on even when I'm teaching so my hindbrain takes over, I start working on autopilot and the next thing I know I've rattled through 15 commands before the guy has time to breathe...

"So you clip the waveform, save it as a PCM wav 44-1, pop it into cool, normalise to 100, *one hand using the mouse, the other running keyboard shortcuts I ALWAYS forget to point out*, add the second script, add the jingle bed over the script, splice, beat match, run some fades here and here, mixdown, hard limit it, check the vo over the music and save as rm...

...sorry, yes... Yes, clip the waveform..."

My brain tends to do these things bam, bam, bam and even if I mentally try as hard as possible to put the brakes on it doesn't matter, I still find myself running on and losing them completely.

It's at this point I say the magic words...

"I'll write it on a cheat-sheet for you..."

"Louisiana Senator David Vitter has admitted he was a client of the DC madam. She made public a list of all her clients' phone numbers. Here's my question: If you're so stupid to go to a prostitute and give her your real name and your Senate office phone number, how did you get elected in the first place?" --Jay Leno

"President Bush held a press conference yesterday to discuss the latest report out of Iraq. He says there's plenty of reason for optimism, although I'm starting to get the feeling he doesn't know what that word means." --Jimmy Kimmel

"It seems that a member of the Florida House of Representatives and the co-chairman of John McCain's Florida campaign, a man named Bob Allen, has just been arrested for soliciting an undercover male police officer for sex. He offered to perform a sex act on the police officer for $20. Remember the good old days during a campaign, when you only had to kiss babies? It is so competitive now for what you have to do to get elected." --Jay Leno

"The senator from Louisiana, David Vitter, he's admitted now he dates hookers in Washington, D.C, and also in Louisiana. But, he said, in his defense, he always selected the girl with the lowest bid. So he's fiscally prudent." --David Letterman

"According to the current issue of Sports Illustrated, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has become a 'golf nut.' She's pretty good, too. The only sand trap she can't get out of? Iraq." --Jay Leno

"Some sad news I should mention, Lady Bird Johnson passed away at the age of 94. Laura Bush praised her as a pioneer and an icon, while President Bush praised her as a lady and a bird." --Conan O'Brien

Right, after CJ's top 100 movies as voted for by us I thought I'd try a little something, here is the list but modified for me, italics mean a movie I've seen, bold are movies I own on VHS or DVD.

1 Monty Python's life of Brian
2 Amelie
3 Dogma
4 Donnie Darko
5 Ocean's 11 (New Version)
6 Trainspotting
7 Withnail and I
8 V for Vendetta
9 Shrek
10 Star Wars
11 American Beauty
12 The Bourne Identity
13 The Sixth Sense
14 Monty Python and the Holy Grail
15 Serenity
16 Sliding Doors
17 Brokeback Mountain
18 The Truman Show
19 Anchorman
20 LOTR: Return of the King
21 Pulp Fiction
22 The Mummy
23 Shaun of the dead
24 Topsy Turvy
25 The Crow
26 The Usual Suspects
27 Alien
28 Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
29 The Lady Vanishes
30 Grosse Point Blank
31 Breakfast at Tiffany's
32 Terminator 2
33 Chocolat
34 Saw
35 Blade Trinity
36 Down With Love
37 LOTR: The Fellowship of the Ring
38 Ferris Buellers day off
39 Hoodwinked
40 Just Like Heaven
41 Moulin Rouge
42 Pitch Black
43 Van Wilder: Party Liaison
44 LOTR: The Two Towers
45 Rain Man
46 Dirty Dancing
47 Empire of the Sun
48 Grease
49 Monsters Inc.
50 Shakespeare in Love
51 Monty Python and the Meaning of Life
52 Runaway Jury
53 Armageddon
54 Hero
55 Master and Commander
56 Walk the Line
57 2001: A Space Odyssey
58 Hercules Returns
59 Rebecca
60 Sleeper
61 The breakfast club
62 Back to the future
63 Batman Returns
64 Blade Runner (Directors Cut)
65 Deconstructing Harry
66 In and Out
67 Manhatten Murder Mystery
68 Shooting Fish
69 Star Trek iv: The Voyage Home
70 Some Like it Hot
71 Ten things I hate about you
72 L'Homme du Train
73 The Consequences of Love
74 Annie Hall
75 Knight's Tale
76 Logan's Run
77 Sahara
78 The Passion of the Christ
79 Much Ado about nothing
80 The Sound of Music
81 Wizard of Oz
82 Educating Rita
83 Remains of the Day
84 Streetcar named Desire
85 The Cat and the Canary (Bob Hope)
86 The Shipping News
87 Harry Potter and the Goblet of fire
88 Coffee and Cigarettes
89 Sleepless in Seattle
90 The English Patient
91 The Net
92 Evolution
93 The Wedding Singer
94 Godfather part 2
95 Goodfellas
96 Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves
97 Bulletproof Monk
98 Casino
99 Fried Green Tomatoes at the whistle stop café
100 Hable con ella (Talk to her)

HERE

Go HERE now...

Go HERE.
Go HERE.
Go HERE.
Go HERE.
Go HERE.
Go HERE.

Has anyone checked Paddy's caffiene drip is still installed?!

To find out what this is all about go HERE... in fact you should be there anyway, go, go, go!

Right peeps, suggestions, changes etc?

(obviously this is only 1 quarter of it...)

Your arse, THIS blog...

Get them together right now.

So I'm waiting until the purchase of weedkiller...

Why is it the only thing I can get to grow properly is weeds? If there was a category in the Chelsea Flower show for bindweed or nettles I could be a winner, a winner I tells ya!

So, now I just have to decide what my Saturday entails...

Might see if other stuff needs doing in the garden... or not...

...now lets explore the pro's and con's...

Pro:

If I go into town I won't get wet (can't really AFFORD to go into town however...)

The blue sky is nicer, more logical for this time of year and makes me feel happier.

Hopefully if it's not raining here it's not raining elsewhere and people are having less flood trouble.

Cons:

There's little excuse not to do the gardening, especially the army of bindweed that's "stolen" the entire centre tier...

*performing a rain dance*

Lust...

There's been a bit of a furore down here in North Devon after one of the councillors in Torridge was found to be a... kissogram!

Three councillors have quit because of their fellow councillors job in "the sex trade"...

Hmm, now that's a nice dramatic term but lets have a bit of reality... she knocked on people's doors and kissed them. Lets be fair, even when she's a stripogram it's hardly prostitution is it?!

So getting yer kit off with people you're not married to makes you unfit to be a politician... funny, when they become politicians that's all they seem to do...

For God's sake, she got voted in, she's probably good at what she does (and YES Nick I mean being a councillor not her night job) so lighten up...

Sloth...

I see Paris Hilton's sleb friend Nicole Ritchie is now in jail for drink driving... Please God don;t let it be the media frenzy we had over the skinny slapper...

"...and Nicole... yes Nicole is... getting in a car!"

Wrath...

They had the funniest interviewee on Channel 4, he was so jingoistically American and pro NASA that he was denying things that were written in the very report he was waving around and was supposed to be talking about!

It's amazing how a bad interviewee can actually turn people AGAINST you, he really was a pillock and you couldn;t believe a thing he said...

I remember having one at work, supposed to be talking about cyclists and how good they were and got so vitriolic against everyone else he made us all want to go out and run one over...

Envy...

D'ya want it Subs, do ya?! Ironically he's sat on my treadmill...

Pride... (yeah right...)

My entry for Steve_p's competition using Paint with a mouse... you said a self portrait or a house so I did both

Crap end to last night, crap night for sleep, woke up and got hiccups, toast was soggy and I'm about to drag my ass into work far, FAR earlier than I'm paid to do because I've got so much stuff to do today as I don't have enough time each day to do it so it all builds up...

Some days do you just think... why?

Yes, yes, I know it's all minor but I reserve the right to bitch...

Now, you all know xkcd, Subbie, Sminch and I have posted enough of them over time

Well THIS is fawkin excellent!

First, look at the comic below then click HERE

OK, been thinking bout this since I refused POINT BLANK to call Alex Ferguson the S word...

I know there's been some trouble with knighthoods lately and I'm not gonna aim at any specific case, this isn't anything political or anything.

I wonder now what the POINT of knighthoods are? Back in the old days they were literally raising one man above others, making him a trusted ally, a lord, giving him titles etc.

Now it seems all you need for a knighthood is to do some random thing on behalf of some random item and BAM, you've got letters after your name.

For services to music, for services to sport, for services to science, literature, entertainment...

There's a campaign that I think got a mention below to get Bob Paisley knighted and I sorta wonder if it's simply because of Fergie?

I obviously never knew the bloke but from reports and biographies the last thing he wanted was a big parade. I'm sure he was proud to be admired, I hope it meant a lot to know the high esteem not only Liverpool fans but a multitude of fans held him in.

But I feel that maybe his view would have been that he had been doing his job and he did it well, won trophies and the admiration of the footballing world, that was all he needed.

Now so many people are knighted that it doesn't really seem to mean a thing any more, don't get me wrong, I think they deserve recognition but... think how it all started.

"For being a milkman for 20 years... arise Sir Wimblethorpe... now go get together 5'000 men strong and true and siege Bordeaux!"

Now THIS kicks ass... (click for full size pics)

Outside:

And the new Kop with it's acoustic roof to funnel the sound

Not so sure about the open corners, might mean some lost atmosphere but it sounds like those bits will get filled with seats as soon as we get clearence to go to 78'000, maybe when we reopen the bootle branch line and have a dedicated match day rail service!

Oh, and just to finish of a football based post... (sorry Nick) I see Alex Ferguson (I refuse point blank to use the S word) has been mouthing off...

First saying he would have signed Fernando Torres but got "sick of waiting"... Well yes you blight on all things Scottish, he did make you wait, mainly because he didn't want to join Moan Utd...

He then accused Liverpool of being "opportunists".

Oh got no, not... opportunists!

We'll never live it down...

Stumbled on this site HERE and it's pretty good

The hosts search the underground maps and find animal drawings

1) I noticed upon leaving the office there's a new sign on the exit... "When nobody is in the building this door will be alarmed." Cause it feels lonely?

2) A gent and his little girl were in the station waiting room, casually watched a train come in and leave... then realised that was the train they should have caught... It was announced, it was on the usual platform at the precise time it should have been... and he managed to miss it, must have been daydreaming or something. Problem is it was a branch line service, was another hour and a half for the next train! Cue "let's go outside for a fag"... hope he just meant him not the girl...

3) My bus driver was Lewis Hamilton in the disguise of a large middle aged balding bloke. I'm serious, this bus was driven like 12 wasn't it's route number but it's racing number... Was like being on a rollercoaster filled with old people.

4) One young 'lady' on the bus needs to learn a simple fact, mobile phones allow you to talk quietly too... especially when going on about the guy at work calling you and your friend "rampant bitches"...

I am really quite stinkingly bad at knowing where I am on a map...

I started thinking about it because Faffa was asking about directions and I thought... I probably can't even direct anyone HERE... I can just about work people between my house and the three major cities in the county but other than that... not a chance.

Although I love maps, always have, I've never been any good at knowing what part of them is what when it comes down to a smaller scale than countries, and to be fair I couldn't point to Albania or Croatia if you paid me...

It is a little weird though, I've been to a fair few places in England but I have no idea WHERE geographically if you get my drift, my answers would be "up north" or "east coast". I went to Sheffield to see a friend a couple years back, travelled through lots of places I KNEW... but I couldn't draw the railway route...

I mean, all you lovely people out there I chat to on a regular basis and if I was forced at gunpoint to put pins into a map of where you are... well, I might as well stick it on the wall and play darts...

It can get a bit embarrassing sometimes, "I live in Marshley on the Wold in the Lake District, how far is that from you..." "Err... somewhere middling?"

See, that's a great answer, middle distance, middling, not really too far or too close... It covers a multitude of sins!

Cause lets be honest, if it was close I'd know the name, if it was far... well, Saturn is far away, so compared to that anywhere on Earth isn't far...

And thus, gentle reader, we bring you to the moral of the story.

Don't ask me for directions unless it's in and around the south coast of Devon!

Hmm, it's funny what you learn from watching Poirot...

I'll tell you something, not sure I should ever make a will, turns out that as soon as you do *fwip* into the afterlife you go! If I never make a will I'll be immortal...

Upon murdering someone I should be the most obvious suspect, as soon as the police say "He's obviously done it" everyone knows he's innocent.

So not only am I immortal, I can do anything including crimes in view of as many bystanders as possible, that'll simply increase my chances of being arrested as the most obvious suspect...

If I have done anything and don't get to be the most obvious suspect then the answer is simple.

Do not under any circumstances go to a meeting of all people connected to the crime, therefore you can't be named and all there is to link you to the crime is the theories of a little Belgian with no official authority.

Course... doesn't mean I don't love em...

...have been posting while I've not been on again!

It's been a busy day, had two meetings about work which both came out ok but it ate up my blogging time

*Getting ready to read lots...*

...cause she's just commented.

Subbalicious was listening to some work I'd done and it was an interview with Myleene Klass...

When asked about her most exhilarating moment she said jumping from an aeroplane...

Seriously Row, play us something classical on piano?!

Well, today had some good and bad moments!

I think the fact I have a new funky PC on order at work is the highest point, also got a lot of work done which is always good.

It's been up and down on the weather too, leaving home I had to guard against the rain, get into town for work and I have to take my fleece off and walk to work in my tshirt because it was too hot, things seem a bit messed up around here, even if it's nowhere near as bad as people are getting it upcountry.

I just wonder what can be done, not building houses on flood plains aside, right now I think it seems more logical to look at flood prevention solutions, we know the top knobs (in more ways than one) wont do anything like stop building...

See personally, as I'm a nerd, I'd like to see a big pumping robot thing going around with hoses for hands but I don't know if that's really going to happen...

...is Gordon Brown the anti-Christ?

*Looking out the window and thinking Britain needs Arks...*

...the three immature little *ahems* are back with another Lloydy profile... wonder if it's just one of them this time of if the three are still together.

Didn't realise how bad the flooding was in places, Tewksbury is now officially an island...

Feck...