See, don't say I'm not helpful.

I know there's blokes out there wondering what to get for Valentines.

I know there's woen wondering what to ask for.

So I'm going to help you all out.

Thanks to the wonder of the internet I've been introduced to the greatest gift to give your lady on St V's day...

Are you taking notes?

Ready with a pen?

Here we go!

That's right, what could be more romantic than photographs?

Of other men!

With extremely large... silverware!

Now that cat's out the bag Interflora must be terrified...

It's suddenly kicked up a bloody monsoon outside...

It wasn't too bad this morning, bit dampish, bit windy but not awful, it was actually drty on the way up to work but now...

It's like a wall of water...

EDIT: It's now stopped completely...

...Do you think I have a reputation?

One of the journos in work brough her laptop in for me to try and fix today

...as I can't think of anything to write... have some of today's pics.

The day started well...

This bird was certainly over the moon...

Sun on the river on the way home...

A signal to carry on...?

The Power of the Sun...

The Big Fish Tree

Rail Bridge

Cottage Terrace Door

This one reminded me of African Veldt...

Slowly dropping over the horizon...

Now, we all remember this poster, the classic American Beauty moment with Mena Suvari:

Well, a Brazillian Ad company has come out with this:

For those who can't read Portugese the caption reads "Forget it, men will always prefer fit women, use *specified yoghurt brand* now..."

What total and utter bollocks.

Don't get me wrong, Mena Suvari is pretty but really, look at that second picture, she's curvy, she looks fun, cheeky, sexy...

If I had to pick, give me the second of the two any time.

I can understand the push against obesity, I really can. Obesity is a killer and being fitter or healthier is an advantage.

But c'mon, that second woman isn't FAT, she's curvaceous, and there have been times and places where she would be seen as the ultimate in womanhood rather than the admittedly attractive but skinny Mena.

It's funny, walking through Cambridge the other day I said to Subs "some times I just want to grab some of these women and shout "eat something!!""

It seems in our almost obsessive drive against dangerous obesity we've slipped into a black and white scenario, you're either skinny or fat, there's no middle ground.

We just don't seem to understand that bodies are various shapes, they always will be. Some people find it easy to stay a lower weight, some can't help but become larger. Some simply realise that you can have a few extra stone and still, actually, be healthy.

All we seem to understand is optimum body weights, body fat percentages, calorie intakes...

Screw that, I'd rather grab the pic of Mena Suvari and add it to a campaign for chocolate...

"Forget it, men will never prefer boinking a toast rack, use copious amounts of Thornton's instead..."

In pics...

Elf House.

The moon (which does look slightly different oop-country-like).

A mightily impressive pair of cups.

Five people, one Nando's, it never stood a chance...

The Flickster's impressive rock... Look very carefully, right hand side... half way down... just by the slight yellow refraction... that's where the Titanic hit it.

Cambridge residents Gargolyes.

Open All Hours.

Found a star light filter in Jessops for two quid, can't really go wrong...

Madame's blooms.

Orchid on Macro.

When I got home it was a tad foggy... and I live up a hilly bit, on the main road visibility was about 20 feet...

As I was travelling back yesterday a thought occurred to me, why on earth are so many lights on?

I went past the Arse's Emirates Stadium it was lit up like match day, all barring the floodlights, as we sailed past offices and business parks there were lights on everywhere but they were the deserted kinda lights, stairwell lights, or that blue glow of a left on monitor.

If we need lights for safety why not put them on sensors so they switch on when people go near?

It would also make building security a lot easier, if there's a light on, there's somebody there...

I dunno, I'm not the biggest greenie I know but it does seem a little ludicrous how wasteful people are.

I suppose businesses don't really pay in the long run, a chunk of each Arsenal season ticket is just the "keeping the lights on" stipend...

79% Geek

Seen on a magazine front cover...

"My daughter used my boobs as an umbrella..."

Ahh, you have to love the quality press in this country...

Heath Ledger is found dead in US.

Oh, and Sky are still plugging Brokeback Mountain... cmon guys, it's not that hard to pull a promo...

...a camera, a couple tripods and my (specially bought for these occasions) Maglite torch and I'm set!

The torch in candle mode, duplicated and coloured...

Bow down to the Holy Spirit Level...

Woohoo, found my plasma ball!

This one on Macro reminded me of an alien planet getting attacked

A light drink anyone? (been wanting to try this since seeing it in a mag)

Mobile type 1 - Helps you sleep:

Mobile type 2 - doesnt...:

Yup, according to new research using a mobile phone right before you go to sleep "can cause insomnia, headaches and confusion.

It may also cut our amount of deep sleep - interfering with the body's ability to refresh itself."

Hmm, I'd normally think this was pure bunkum but... recently documented lack of sleep has sometimes come after using a mobile.

Now, personally I reckon there's more mental issues to deal with when it comes to crap sleep, especially mine, but I haven't used my mobile much the last few evenings and have slept ok...

I'm still leaning towards my brain being problematic but it's interesting!

Course in some of the test cases it could have been the CONTENTS of the call rather than the call itself!

..because real life has no sense of the dramatic.

I do however so as the sun slipped under the horizon I decided to go snapping in the semi-to-almost-total-darkness with ISO high and B&W mode on.

Oh, and Ramps... few more locations for that zombie movie too

Phew, spotted this going past, thankfully when I went back the postman was still out delivering

Off work for a week and a bit

So what did I do?

I went to TESCO!

My God I have an exciting life

Oh, and... dya think this counts as mixed messages...?

I had something I wanted to blog...

I can't for the life of me remember what however...

It was obviously a thrillfest!

A stack of documents including "Details of benefit claims, passport photocopies and mortgage payments" have been found...

...in the middle of a roundabout.

By the superlatively named Karl-Heinz Korzenietz, from Dawlish.

This follows on from a find of another batch of documents including "Details of benefit claims, passport photocopies and mortgage payments" that were found...

...in the middle of a roundabout.

By the superlatively named Karl-Heinz Korzenietz, from Dawlish.

What's that saying about lightning...?

Andy Warhol said in 1968

"In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes."
This meme deals with your brush with fame:

Have you ever appeared on TV?
My back was on telly when I was driving out the phone-in and they did a live linkup into lunchtime news with the presenter... Been on in the background a couple times.

Ever been on the radio?
Repeatedly...

Do you have a friend who is famous?
Not mega famous, no.

Have you ever had your name in the papers?
Don't think I have actually.

Have you ever been in trouble with the law?
Naah.

Any school friend gone on to be famous?
One porn star and one lower division football player, although quite a good one (not the same person btw...).

Not an awful day today, I did feel a bit like I didn't achieve enough though.

However many times I work late, start early etc I still don't feel 100% confident at my job. I took over from a master of his craft so anything I do won't be as good, that's not self deprecating, just reality, you wouldn't expect Paul Potts to be Pavarotti after all.

Anyway, moving on cause I worry enough about my career...

I was surprised by someone on the bus tonight, he got on one stop... and got off at the next one, 2 minutes up the road...

He wasn't old (I'd say early 20s) or seemingly in any way incapacitated, he jumped on and off, walked briskly away when the bus stopped...

Thanks to the dodgy traffic at that time of night it probably saved him an entire five minutes max walking in the relatively mild, non-rain.

I wondered if it was him, if it was tradition, or if it was simply a sign that we're becoming more adjusted to travelling without moving so to speak.

And we all know where we'll be if everyone stops being able to walk.

That's right, America...

Do we really want a country where pedestrian areas of beauty get ripped up because the shops will die without parking outside?

I've written quite a few times about this, as you well know I might be on the cuddly side but I love to walk, I find it very hard to be sedentary for any length of time barring net-nights and would hate to be trapped inside transport my whole life.

Admittedly I know these days walking is given extra spice by my camera but even before the shutter bug hit me I loved to explore, to walk, to pop my mp3 player in and lose myself in my thoughts and imaginations while my body takes over control of the nigh on automatic pilot that is being able to walk.

I don't have to walk fast, or far, sometimes the best part is sitting on a bench and simply enjoying peace and comfort.

I really can't imagine any world where the outside is seen as scary enough that everyone is forced to cocoon themselves in air conditioned boxes for eternity...

Oh, and on the outdoors subject, as it was a clear night you all KNOW what you're going to be forced into seeing... The first moon pic (with my new pricier zoom lens... must sell the old one)...

It's actually a composite of two, one darker to allow the shadows and shapes to show through on the full side, one lighter to accentuate the left edges craters and crags, blended together in Photoshop.

Interesting to see Leslie Ash has picked up a cool five million in compensation from a hospital because she contracted MSSA while in there after breaking two ribs falling out of bed mid bonk (seriously).

Now, I understand it's about lost earnings etc but five million?

What about all those poor sods...

...who don't have the money to get an impressive lawyer?

...who don't earn money for "appearences" or Hello mag interviews?

...who don't get their stories of mistreatment in the papers and on TV because they're not "famous"?

I've seen stories of hospital mistreatment where a mere pittance is handed out for a cock-up or a lack of cleanliness that has resulted in death.

Don't get me wrong, I feel sorry for her and wouldn't begrudge her personally for getting whatever she can get.

But sometimes I feel the compensation culture in this country serves simply to make the rich richer and make it almost impossible for the poor to have the time, money or expertise to fight.

It's funny, I was reading a camera mag today and was amazed at what was deemed a combination of illegal or ill-advised...

For starters, and this one came as a real shock, you shouldn't wander round train stations taking photos...

Oops...

You're flat out not allowed if it's for commercial use and even if it's not you should get clearance from the station manager... eep!

Thankfully none of my stuff is commercial but there's problems snapping landmarks, snapping churches from graveyards...

My personal favourite is even snapping tube stations or other buildings is problematic if "it may assist the enemy". Which enemy?

Is this all a bit extreme? I can;t photograph a tube station incase an "enemy" sees the photo and uses it for nefarious means?

Looks like maybe I'll have to be a little more careful...

Oh, and if any of you are enemies and find a helpful photo? Sssshhhh, don't tell anyone!

Managed to avoid almost all the rain today, just a quick shower between work and the station on the way home!

Looks like all of the summer flooding problems are back upcountry, here's sending best wishes to everyone involved, I'm lucky to live up a hill with minimal flooding possibilities, really feel for those trying to shore up their houses right now.

Right... Liverpool + FA Cup = TV viewing...

As usual, there's more on my Flickr for anybody interested...

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water... The ducks are after you...

Ducks

Daylight Moon

Swan

River Exe

Water pipe exit

Rail Bridge over the Exe

Swan taking off

OK, here's a quiz, what's this? It was diving for food, and I mean diving, not just ducking, it would dunk right under and vanish for a long time, the water would smooth off like it had never been there and BAM, up it would appear again... Hence the blurry photo, it was quite dark by this point and I couldn't get it cleanly.

EDIT: We've had Grebe and Cormorant suggested so far! I can see how it could be either and am rather dissapointed I didn't manage to grab a cleaner pic to help...

Ya know sometimes I just feel totally unmotivated and, to be honest, totally useless.

So that's the time I need to recharge a little...

...so you know what that means.

Yep, photos will be forthcoming...

I think I've managed to catch up by the way, I know I've been quiet for a bit, not really mentally right to post etc.

If I've missed anything, shout!

Unfortunately my main reason for stopping didn't happen but I managed to get a few random shots, not great as it was very dark but my big aperture 50mm lens proved invaluable, made second long exposures an 8th of a second instead...

Dawlish Station

This shows how close the sea is to the railway line

Dawlish Lawn (Yes, Lawn, don't ask...)

I was on the phone to Subs, told her the name of this place and she went "You have to photograph that...

So not a major success but not too awful.

I fear my addiction has got rather extreme...

I'm staying in work (finished at 3) to ensure optimum photographic conditions for my mission...

If it fails, nothing will be said again.

If it succeeds... piccies will be forthcoming.

On the way home I thought of a good photo op, decided not to today but put it on hold for tomorrow.

Tomorrow is now, apparently, going to be abysmal weather...

DOH!!

It might have to wait but I don't want to wait too long cause it needs to be dark

To: Brain
From: Body
Subject: Re: Sleeping arrangements

Sorry, no can do.

You forget which one of us is more important, he hasn't used you for years...

Any more complaints will see a repeat of the 3.40am wakeup I organised today, and the cold will now linger on as a reminder not to take me on, you need oxygen a bit more than me...