With my much nightmare inducing, nausea inspiring, hellishly depressing, totally unanticipated return to work tomorrow I took a chance to get out for a good photo day.

It was one of those sudden decision type things, I was sat thinking where I could go, got a brain flash and VOOM, off I went...

...to Living Coasts.

It's run by the local zoo and it's a sort of beachside version, a mini zoo covering some of the more cute items from around the coast.

Personally if I'd simply visited as a tourist I'd think it was a touch pricey as without a camera I could have done it in half an hour or so...

But I went with the sole purpose of finding photographic material, and that I did.

So lets take a little photographic tour, this may be pic heavy so hold onto your eyeballs...

The biggest and most publicised bit of the park is it's penguin population...

Both Maccaroni Penguins...

And African Penguins...

The penguins themselves actually run free around the area, onto the paths...

...and occasionally making friends with companionable camera bags...

Although it was like a scene from Hitchcock's The Birds at feeding time, mixed with a good George Romero film... Attack of the Waddling Feathered Zombies...

There are also underwater sections so you can see the penguins in "flight"... and the occasional Tufted Puffin too (last pic)... Apologies for the quality, it was dark, murky watered and they're FAST!

They have other sea birds too including a tufted puffin with an itch...

...Sea ducks with stunning green eyes...

...and the quite wonderful Inca Tern who I think looks like an old retired army chap, eh, what, what!

But I think my favourite moment was when I found some creatures who knew how to enjoy the sun, the park's two furred seals...

I dunno if you can see but the bottom one is actually laid with their head stretched right backwards over the rock...

Wasn't as sneaky at the one on top though... I spotted them opening an eye to watch me...

...then being back to sleep at a moments notice...

Count yourselves lucky I only posted these, there are 77 in my Flickr Folder for Living Coasts now! With that many cute subjects around I had to keep deleting the naffer ones from my 4gb card to have enough room to take more!

Course, one thing did cross my mind too...

Some of the photos in the guide book look a little ropey, wonder if they need an official in-house photographer for them and the zoo...

So, I got out in the garden for an hour today with my macro lens and my tripod.

Grasping...

Bud...

Buttercup

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do...

Bluebells...

Subs and I both think this looks like it's praying to the heavens, arms wide...

As for the slightly less attractive residents...

Face off... I'm afraid the one on the right lost...

Beetle...

Pollen covered...

Ugly bug...

...well, after some depressing crap lets try something a bit more positive...

Some have been private, some to select few, some open to the world. Some have been happy, some have been sad. Some have contained crap jokes, crapper photos and various rants.

A few have actually been readable...

So here I sit, contemplating that this post is 2,000 not out on this blog.

Not bad for something of such rude beginnings as it had, with some twaddle about football and a couple of middling jokes.

It's been:

• 774.2 posts a year...
• 64.5 posts a month...
• 2.1 posts a day...

Jesus...

I've collected friends, enemies and a whole heap of people who are indifferent about me, I've found hobbies, interests and a community I never knew were out there or that I even wanted.

So thank you, dear reader, especially those who've put up with me for a long time...

It's your fault I keep posting so blame yourselves...

...

I'm still thinking about ways to reshape this thing I call my life, especially as yet again six numbers failed to come out of the lottery machine...

The last couple of days I've been searching through my photos trying to find if I have anything that might be of interest to an online stock photo library, I reckon I may have a couple (the above is one) but I dunno, on most of them the popular photos seem to be of people in office scenarios, I don't really have the models or the locations to try anything like that...

It's free to register with some of these libraries and I can put photos on multiple sites so I think I might try my luck and pop a few up.

It's tricky though, a lot of my photos are more about postcard/poster/wallpaper type images rather than stock photos for business thingys etc...

...but making that sort of thing is a lot more complicated.

I wonder if it's the weather... maybe I've got S.A.D...

...or I'm just sad...

"Until we are mathematically out of the race we are very much in it."

-Fulham Boss Roy Hodgson

Ya don't say, until you're out... you're in.

OK, I originally wrote lots of introverted shite here about life/work etc and photos, stock library sales and the potential for my own website titled "Selling My Soul?"...

...and then deleted it, cause it was crap, lets just have some snaps instead.

Right, and now in an "Oh God, MORE...?" moment, lets have some of today's photos.

Just another flower in the wall...

Church...

River...

Willow

Cottage...

River...

I love colour differences, especially against bright blue skies... found a few today.

This is inspired by summat I read on RunDontWalk about trying to steer clear of those 'what if' moments.

Those lovely times when your brain pops up at it's darkest and says "what if you'd done THIS instead, you'd be happier..."

Here's the thing though, why are they always things that might have made your life better...

What I try and do (mostly unsuccessfully, but you might be less depressed more optimistic than me) is work out the positives, the things that would have made my life worse if 'what if...' had happened...

What if McDonalds had hired me to be a burger monkey a week or two before I got my BBC/CSV traineeship?

What if I hadn't found this site and the friends it's given me?

What if I hadn't met up with Subs?

What if I hadn't rediscovered photography?

Sitting here now I can think of few 'what ifs...' of a positive nature, that could have made my life better.

But I can think of many 'what ifs...' that could have made my life worse, so I suppose in the grand scheme of things that's a tick in the win column.

Flower...

Tulips...

Collective...

Daffs...

Daisy...

Dandelion...

Blossom...

True Love...

Blackbird...

The skeleton of a Sycamore seed pod...

Ah well, another day of holiday down, one less day on the route to a return to Heck...

At least I managed to achieve stuff today, was actually a good day, and I don't say that often.

Now, for this to be the case when DIY was involved... even more amazing. The garage door needs painting so I had put aside today to sand it down and chip off some of the older flakier paint.

I have to say I wasn't worried, me and DIY get on like a house on fire...

...lots of screaming, alarm bells ringing and the potential of a trip to the A&E department...

I am a lot of things but good with my hands in a workman type way? Ohhhhh no... Less Handy Andy as much as Goddamn Dangerous Andy... but at least this didn't involve power tools, sharp implements or a gas powered welding torch (apologies again to the girl all those years back in D&T class, your hair did grow back...)

As it was a nice day I was instantly distracted by a short photo op around the nearby areas for Macro-worthy flora but actually got to work and sanded almost the whole thing down, with just the single tea and kitkat break...

Now I just need to do the painting without including the surround, the brickwork, next door's flowerboxes and their car...

Och, it'll be easy.

Wound down with a few more pics and a lovely little phone convo with Subbalicious while I was sat in a manky garden chair out in the back garden in some shade, hands free set on so I could carry on photographing the birds...

Course, to all silver linings there's a cloud and my Lappie went funny, messed up Skype and MSN and broke the cut and paste of my day's photos, losing a bundle in the process, although I've now bought a recovery prog and got them all back safe and sound!

So guess what I'm doing now... *opening Photoshop*

...I usually try to pick 10... fraid it'll be 20 this time, sorry!

If you're really interested at the rest they're all on Flickr...

Phoning the 70s...

Arty Flower...

Blizzard Conditions...

Melted snow, out of focus...

The hat...

Drops...

Silhouette...

Snow Bird...

Snowfall...

Snow...

Build a Little Birdhouse In Your Soul Snow...

Snowy Building...

Riverside...

Guard Cat...

Swans...

River...

Down the Cam...

Primroses...

The Doorway to Sanctuary...

Sun Through The Trees...

...an arty plant.

...a guard cat.

...the fabled multi-coloured hat.

and...

...photographic (and just graphic) evidence of Subs flirting outrageously and coquettishly with a stark-bollock-naked man (not me, before you have to Dettol your brain over that image).

I've spent all day sorting photos, give or take food breaks and a few things that needed sorting...

I'm now uploading ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY FIVE snaps...

Don't wait up, I may be some time...

*Looking at the clock* How the fuck did it get to be 5.30...

...A ridiculous amount of photos to edit.

...An after the party feel.

...A sense of impending doom.

...An unopened tube of sour cream and onion Pringles that I thought I'd need for the trip home but didn't eat.

...A lingering dislike for the man with mad professor hair who I was sat next to on the train yesterday and who I think had a kind of social problem. His repeated huffing, posturing and silly little expressions when I, or one of the people on the other side of the table did anything was ridiculous, including a very exaggerated "harumph" when I put my mp3 player on (not very loud) and a hands-waving search for his own mp3 that he pointedly set down and switched on with as much residual drama as the state opening of parliament.

...An equal dislike for the man with equally mad professor hair in Starbucks who couldnt get his head around the fact if you've caused offence it IS your problem and you may need to think about your attitude and manners. I'm sure they were also very, very sorry when you arrogantly said "I won't come here again then" (I do apologise for laughing at that point) and there was no party in the back, especially as it seems EVERY time you enter the cafe there's a problem according to the manager.

Pah.

Back to photo editing.

It's a new phrase - definition is that silence between two people who are both eating ginger puddings and cream and don't want to waste time talking...

...a whiiiiiiite Easter...

Or "Snowy Subville's"

...Do you ever get the feeling you're the only person in the world NOT taking something.

To the lady on Bid.TV, selling an mp3 player is NOT exciting enough that you need to nip across to QVC for some new underwear...

To musical artists including Adele, Soldja Boy and The New Scientists... Seriously, what were your PR guys on with those music videos?

To the guy doing the music show on E4... Trust me, your feigned 'I'm too cool to be presenting this show' attitude will soon mean you're not... but never fear, panto awaits.

Oh, and finally, adverts... really, WTF?

Ahem, that is all...

Missing Person: A Lindt Chocolate Bunny.

Last Seen: Subville's House.

Clues: Found this nearby.

Witnesses:

Subville - Quote: "One moment he was there, suddenly he wasn't..." The witness then wiped the corner of her mouth and exclaimed a need for a cup of tea...

The investigation is ongoing.

...As you can see, I shaved specially.

I got the cake...

And Ivanova to top the guest list

Was travelling today and had one of those philosophical moments...

I must pass the homes of thousands upon thousands of people on my travels.

Each of those homes, big, small, semi detached, terraced, flat, Each home the sanctum of someone individual and unique.

I often wonder, especially with the smaller villages, how did those people end up living there, is there a story behind their move, or is it a simple twist of Estate Agent fate?

On top of that what other fate has befallen these people, are they happy or sad, content or wishing for more?

How fickle things can be in life, I can just hope the majority are happy.

Didn't feel like posting these last night... Went out yesterday morning and managed to catch a sunny time...

Duck...

Fun in the water...

Lake view...

Jetty...

Robin...

Park...

Spiky Feller...

Up in the skies...

Bouyed Up...

Swan...

...what can you do?

That's the bastard thing of this, sometimes it's hard to be there for someone when you badly want and need to be, I know many of my friends list are feeling the same.

I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say our thoughts are with you hon.

OK, here goes, I'm treading a well worn path (As Sir Paul said on the Wedding Night) and might be about to annoy womankind (As Sir Paul etc, etc) but...

I've been trying to find a quote about equality and alimony, I'm sure I read it in a book of quotations I've got but for the life of me can't find the book and it's been unfindeable on the net...

I can't say who said it and even if these were the exact words but it was something along the lines of:

"We'll never have true equality of the sexes
while the practice of Alimony goes on."

I'm sure it was much more eloquent than that but you get the drift, and I know alimony works for men too, but it's a rarer case.

Now, using the current debacle... Paul McCartney made most of his fortune by being a Beatle, long before She-Who-Shall-Remain-Shameless entertained her first client.

Now she, a woman who has her own money and ways of making money (some even legal outside of Holland...) has received 25 million for being married to a guy for a typically-celeb period of time.

OK, so here goes...

Why is she worth this?

Why is she worth ANYTHING?

It's true some of it is for a house where she and poor Beatrice live, fine, fine, all well and good.

But Macca is paying the child's school fees and other miscellaneous items, he will, no doubt, be taking her on holidays which he'll pay for.

And yet the Less-Than-Fab-One is still whinging, she wanted 125 million pounds... Well, here's a question, how did you earn this? How did you earn a mere 25 million? (this is rhetorical, 'sex' as an answer does not need to be commented...)

We can but guess what she wanted such extravagance for, maybe she's under the misguided belief her face-pulling and ranting antics will still prove to be newsworthy when the case vanishes so she needs a lot of jetting air-fares for all the worldwide interviews.

Well, I hate to be one of the many to break it to you Miss Mills-Insert-Next-Rich-Guy-Here (I see that tattooed on her thigh with an arrow...) but we don't care.

You've been a figure of ridicule, the butt of many a one-legger-liner, the hated scrunched up face of a golddigging witch.

Your final act of throwing water over Sir Paul's lawyer may have been your attempt to strike a blow for "womanhood" but I think you'll find that was what she was doing.

She was trying to ensure one less case of women being degraded by people such as you, who think it's your right to earn massive amounts of money for lying on your back being "happily" married to a rich man for barely enough time to let the ink on the certificate to dry.

In my view, and hate me if you like, she was doing her best to remove that one last really negative stereotype of women AND men in an increasingly open minded world.

That of the gold-digger attaching themselves groinally to a rich person in a hope of creaming off the cash.

You've got your money, I truly hope you spread some of it to your "charities".

But now, I think I speak for many of us when I say...

Go away and stay away.

...24.3 million quid?!

I mean seriously Paul, if you're going to spend that much on a hooker at least get a complete one...

(This joke sponsored by the Juzzmeister Home for Jokes That Will Get You Hit)

As it was a big grey and murky I decided to give something new a try today.

I've been fiddling with HDR (High Dynamic Range) photos without really doing much, just reading a few articles and downloading a trial of the software...

...but you know me and new things in photography, I was going to end up trying it eventually... and I love it.

It's not TRUE photography, it comes under the heading "digital art" really because the end product is rarely realistic, in fact it's not supposed to be, it's supposed to be a little cartooney.

If you want the techy bit you take a few shots on a tripod of the same scene but at different exposures and put it into a special bit of software that merges the tonal ranges.

In simple terms it mixes all the darks and lights and means the pic shows all the different bits

So... my first few attempts...