...of the 16 images I uploaded to the stock library they were all declined, two because of an "overabundance" and 14 because the quality "didn't reach the aesthetic quality" they want on the site.

Fuck this shit, I really can't be bothered with so many fucking kicks in the teeth lately.

I'm crap at what I do, I'm crap at what I WANT to do, I'm crap at life.

I'm tempted right now to jack the lot in, get a McJob and vanish from the world into a haze of nothingness and brain-atrophy.

No expectations and no hopes lead to no disappointments and no stress.

Pessimism, It Could Work For You...

...that was today.

So therapy was had... you know I could never give up my macro lens... it gives me views I may have never seen.

Now, before I start, don't get me wrong, I'm not paranoid, I know we're always tracked on the net and... well, I dont actually give a toss most of the time.

I know at home my ISP tracks my useage but probably doesn't really doing anything with it... (ooh look, he's uploading MORE photos...)

I know at work my useage is tracked and if I look at nudie pictures or pages detailing the correct way to make a bomb a little flag will raise in the central IT areas.

I know when I type search terms into Google it makes a note and I know when I move from one site to another the other site knows where I've come from.

I know the government track people surfing for dodgy things like bomb making and the purchasing of chemicals used to make same, online and offline... I don't care...

The one thing I dislike is knowing people are tracking me purely so they can spam me with "targetted" advertising...

Most people know what happened with Facebook last year when they brought in their little behind the scenes tracking without really telling anyone and making it a default.

They had to run away with their tails between their legs under a serious PR disaster.

Well now BT, Talk Talk and Virgin have all signed up to start using a new system called Phorm.

This will be installed at ISP level and everything you do on the web will be diverted through a Phorm server which will track where you're going and what you're doing with cookies on your own computer and on remote sites so they can then throw targetted advertising at you on participating websites.

There are various things about this I don't like...

1) It's opt-out, not opt-in on at least two of the ISPs above. This means you'll be entered into it by default and you have to track down the opt-out option to switch it off.

2) It's very defensive against anyone refusing... If you clear the cookies from your computer or use a cookie blocker to stop them creating Phorm will blacklist your IP address and stop you accessing the net for a short time... and the IP addresses of anyone else in the same group as you.

3) They're hiding it behind something good... they're selling it as an anti-phising tool, allegedly blocking access to phishing sites.

OK, who nowardays is dumb enough to be taken in by "we're so and so bank, please enter your details" emails? They're plugged so heavily now nobody will be moronic enough these days, surely?!

It's also not as good as they'd like to suggest, reports are saying they wont use anything more technical than having a list of unwanted sites and blocking them.

That doesn't work, phishing sites are cleverer than that, you need to be running keyword algorithms, reffering checks etc.

So the one good aspect is actually largely innefective...

4) It's advertising... Now I hate advertising, on TV, on the radio and online. I use Firefox and Adblocker to stop online banners and other ads, no google ads on pages, no banner ads, no pop-ups, pop unders, interstitials, flash scripts etc, etc.

If I see it once, Adblocker takes it out for good at the server source, one banner, and an ad server gets blocked forever.

But of course that wouldn't be allowed here, we'd not only have to be targetted but any attempt to block it... removes access to the web.

The people behind this are quite outstandingly arrogant about their system, forcing it through when even local groups have said it's illegal in it's current form.

If this really is an opt-out service that will be installed regardless it means new users may know but current users could be left unknowing, in which case it's an illegal tracking of people's personal data.

But Phorm seem quite defiant right now they'll push it in and make it opt out... because of course opt in might hit their profits.

And that's what this is all about, not safety, not security, not guarding against phishing...

It's purely about the company behind Phorm making money by finding out what we like and jamming unblockable ads down our throats.

Which bothers me a little.

...to feel like I can write anything non depressing and interesting...

I so badly need a change in my life, I've found what I feel is my niche or possibly even, to use an overblown phrase, my calling.

Surely I can find some way to make it so...

Anyway, while I rant and rumble about crap, mortality, the unfairness of existence and the lack of a viable transporter... have some of today's efforts.

The world is buggin me...

Leaf layers...

Stamen collection...

Going postal...

Parked up...

...just have the lyrics instead.

Feeder - Anaesthetic

I'm burning out the TV tubes,
It's three o'clock & I'm confused
Cause commitment is so complete,
It's burning little holes in me
I know that I might look a mess,
And she's so perfect in that Oxfam dress
She looks just like a beauty queen,
Shining out in velveteen
I'm delirious
You make it better
You make the weather seem OK
You're my anaesthetic
You just take the pain away
I love it when she comes around,
She's a firework that never ends
A micro chip inside my brain,
I'm crawling on my knees again
It scares me the way I am,
I'm buried in a sea of sand
Lying on a hand grenade,
Waiting for the world to shake
I'm delirious
You make it better
You make the weather seem OK
You're my anaesthetic
You just take the pain away
You make it better
You just take the pain away
Delirious, I'm so delirious, delirious,
I'm so delirious, Delirious
You make it better
You make the weather seem OK
You're my anaesthetic
You just take the pain awayYou make it better
You make the weather seem OK
You're my anaesthetic
You just take the pain away
Anaesthetic,
She's my anaesthetic
Anaesthetic,
She's my anaesthetic

I'm not able to think up anything remotely good to type so I'm resorting to the standard, photos.

I know, I know, it's getting boring... these were all taken yesterday.

Mad tree...

Church...

Boundary marker...

The fallen...

Take a seat...

Daffodil...

Raindrops on (Prim)Roses...

Last man standing...

Standing out...

Tulips...

...I suppose I should post some

What's going on up there?

Anything tasty?

Sitting around...

Nest building...

Sing it loud, sing it clear...

Common boy...

To: Brain
From: Rest of me
Subject: Mornings

Dear Brain,

I must admit that yes, 0530-0600 is an interesting half an hour.

The birds are singing, the sun is rising, the frost is gleaming on the leaves.

The air is fresh and bright and very brisk and bracing.

However... as my desired wakeup time is around 0630 your constant decision over the last week or so is mildly vexing.

If we could perhaps get together and find a compromise to suit both sides that would be much appreciated.

Yours etc, etc...

The Rest of Me.

Not the best day I've ever had...

It was extremely hectic, I was constantly irritated by someone and left an hour and a quarter late...

Oh, and I still haven't had any stock images accepted or rejected so I can't be sure if I'm doing the right thing...

Ah well.

Walked home as I normally do when I can, snapping along the way so I'll have a few more photos to upload... as I will thanks to the residents in our garden.

I don't know what it is but I'm sure there are more birds out the back than there used to be.

They're also a heap braver than I've known before, they'll happily perch around a few feet away, seemingly secure in the knowledge I'm not going to do anything damaging to them...

Should feel quite good about that I suppose

Loving where I live...

Although I'm partial to where someone else lives too...

So I finally did it...

I uploaded some pics to an online stock photo library...

They're a bit strict about rules etc so I'm expecting them all to be refused but hey, no harm in trying, eh?

I'll see how these few go then take a look at putting a few others up too, I can't imagine picking up much cash from it but maybe it's a start, eh?

Now I just need to start thinking about my own website...

I actually ended up having three sessions of therapy yesterday.

After taking the photos I posted yesterday I relaxed for a bit and watched the footy but then got wanderlust again...

I found Rusty Usky's holiday home...

Stream run-off...

Lining Up...

Big tree...

Standing on his own...

Then... not long after I got home I spotted an impressive sky so nipped back out again...

As I've already posted my potential for snow pics today has been zero thanks to the pants version we had down here... although does melted snow count...?

C'mon damn you, snow PROPERLY!

If the beliefs are true from some cultures that dragons control the weather I picture the one covering us right now is the YTS kid...

We've had the most pitiful attempts at snow that can only come under the heading of amateur... right now I'm looking out the front to grey cloud... and the back to blazing sunshine...

C'mon, pick one or the other!

Here was me thinking we could have some nice snow pics, especially when I looked out and there was something approaching white falling...

Did id stay and stick?

Did it 'eck as like...

So... Mr weather dragon, I'd like to propose a deal.

Make it snow strongly enough tonight that I can skip work... and all is forgiven...

Right, best get on with the plans for the day...

Best get to work play!

So it's now 40 years on from the assassination of Martin Luther King and I know stuff has changed but I have been left thinking... is it enough?

Over in America we're still hearing the race card being played in the presidential elections, Obama will do well either because or in spite of his skin colour.

If King's dream was a reality we'd not care, we'd be able to talk about Obama and Clinton by their policies, their experience, their campaigning personality... Instead, we even have people saying he's "lucky" to be black or he wouldn't be where he is.

Strike one...

We still have the KKK and the British Nazi Party, we still have organisations and parties around the world which are institutionally racist... If King's dream was a reality, these people wouldn't care, wouldn't hold these thoughts.

We like to perpetuate the belief racism is the playground of the older generation, we use phrases like "they're from a different era" and "they don't know better".

But actually... no. The BNP have many young members, sometimes taught from childhood the prejudices of their parents, sometimes they find their bigotry by themselves.

It's also not just the province of the white, that thought in itself is racist. People of any race, religion and colour of skin can hate another simply because of... well, race, religion and colour of skin.

It doesn't even have to be organised, some people simply dislike without knowing why, read the Daily Mail or listen to a radio phone in and you'll soon hear little phrases bandied about that remind you a large percentage of the country, and the wider world, have bigotry in their blood.

Strike two...

War, terrorism and situations like there are in Tibet... often based on religion and race... If King's dream was a reality there would be none of this. There would be no anger or violence towards someone simply because of something as meaningless in the long term as their spiritual beliefs or their country of origin.

Strike three... We're out...

I never understand how people can find hatred in their hearts for an entire section of humanity simply because of something as random as their genetic makeup and upbringing.

How, in these times where we can do so much, and have achieved so much... are we still basing prejudice on things so archaic?

It's been 40 years since a man was shot for wanting the world to realise hating someone for the colour of their skin is as illogical as hating someone for the colour of their eyes or hair, genetic traits people have no say in.

It's 40 years since somebody felt so strongly that black people were a danger and subhuman, that he felt it made sense to load a dum-dum bullet into his handgun and kill another man.

What worries me is that we become so wrapped up in celebrating with ourselves that Martin Luther King had a big impact on race relations and segregation that we forget that although things are better, they're still not solved, still not fixed.

I think people have got a habit of celebrating the work a person has done... but not carrying it on.

We say "he did great work" and "he made an impact" but leave it at that, the world is full of people celebrating greatness while refusing to accept they could be great themselves.

The dream is not a reality, the dream is still a dream.

It was relaxation time this morning after the week I've had...

I decided not to travel too far but thankfully a garden can be just as photogenic sometimes as travelling...

Looking up...

Harebell buds...

Dandelion...

Alien Pod...?

Open and Shut...

Yellow explosion...

Garden Visitor...

Purple flower...

...like a Celine Dion concert.

That's this week.

Despite only being four days long it seemed to go on... and on... and on... and on...

I got to the hair pulling, big sighing, blood pressure rising stage today for so many reasons.

All I can say is thank God it's the weekend, two days that will, no doubt, go ever so quickly but contains a chance at a lottery win and lots of chance of photos...

So here's everything crossed for a good weekend, I'm going to need it, right now it's the only plus going...

I decided to do something different as I walked home yesterday...

As it stands I've got a bundle of lenses, filters, flashgun, all that sorta stuff and it does mean I can grab things much easier because I can frame things with zoom, I can easily fix skies etc, etc...

But sometimes easy just isn't really enough...

So I decided to try something a bit more"classic" and a bit more challenging.

I limited myself to just one lens - my new 28mm prime, one filter - just a protective one, and nothing else (well, except for the camera obviously...)

To zoom I used the technical aspect of my feet and I made a determined decision too that I wouldn't crop in Photoshop, because that's a nice easy way to fix shots too.

I wanted to see what I could produce with a single view through the camera and minimal fiddling in Photoshop, just a bit of white balance, saturation etc fixing.

Bi-coloured blossom...

Coloured leaves...

Caring... It looked like the bigger tree was reaching out and caring for the smaller one in blossom...

Lining to to escape...

Someone's been playing with the wires...

Loner...

The colour purple...

A blaze of colour...

Berries...

Carrying on my contrasting colours theme... Yellow on blue...

This is an audience participation post...

I've had a hard day at work but am now sat with a distinct feeling of contentment...

I've taken lots of shots in a way that challenged me (more on that later) and I am, as I type, sat on a manky white garden chair in my back garden, watching the birds fly hither and thither around, including rest stops at Chez Spencer and typing this on my laptop through the wireless router.

Bizarrely for me I don't have my camera in my hand either, I'm not sat hinking of what might make a shot, or narrowing in on one bird hoping it'll last long enough for the snap of a shutter.

I'm just enjoying my garden, it's inhabitants and the simple art of sitting somewhere so far away from a main road I have to strain my ears to hear traffic, all I hear are the life-noises of those around me.

I am content.

I know there are ways this could be better but right here, right now, I'm happy, and these days that seems like a hard feeling to come by.

I spend a lot of my time thinking and planning for better things, but sometimes you have to live in the now, sometimes you have to think... "this isn't paradise... but it'll do me right this moment."

So, here comes the interaction...

Do you have this? Do you have something you can do that isn't nirvana (the place not the band) but in it's moment is an oasis of contentedness in an otherwise hectic world?

Share it with blogworld, maybe it'll prompt someone out there to give it a try and find their own contentment.

...a rant on my favourite subject...

I saw a piece this morning from a dieting Nazi called Monica Grenfell complaining that the new Miss Surrey, Chloe Marshall, has had the gall of entering, and winning, the competition while committing the cardinal sin of...

...being a size 16.

The photo was taken from HERE where you can also see the other finalists she's beaten.

Now, Miss Uber-fitness-Grenfell, who I reckon is probably skinny enough to look like a skeleton in drag, throws words around like "obesity" and "dangerous" because Miss Marshall comes in at around a stone 'overweight'.

I'm not even going to attempt to link to her article, partly because I refuse to link to the website of the BNP rag of bigotry it was in, but she constantly suggests that Miss Marshall is leading British women to their inevitable deaths by suggesting you don't have to be skinny to be attractive.

Hmm, the thing is, here's a thought. How many Miss World contestants come in at a stone or so underweight? Something which can be just as dangerous, especially if it's the start of a career in modelling that simply expands upon the theory that skinny is best, and the skinnier the better.

You know what... people can be a stone overweight and not automatically fall foul of a list of illnesses and health problems that Grenfell suggest is an inevitable end result of Miss Marshall's single stone "obesity".

We also have to take the pure phyisical facts of beauty into account. People find different things attractive, some LIKE skinnyer women, some like curves.

Lets look logically for a moment, being overweight can be problematic, it CAN cause health problems... but personally I would find it hard to believe being a stone overweight makes you obese.

We need to sit down and be sensible here. I personally feel we can't simply take somebody and say "You have to be THIS weight", we can't simply carry on with the myth that being skin and bone is both healthy and beautiful, we also can't carry on and let obesity be as much of a problem here as it is in America.

We need to realise that people are different body shapes, body types. Some people find it easy to lose weight, others cant.

I read some interesting research many years ago that our own bodies have an optimal weight that may change depending on our age and activity level.

Whatever we try and do our bodies will try to fight us and stay at what they believe is the optimal weight.

This would back up some of what Miss Marshall said, she claims she didn't eat badly, she simply grew to a size 16 as she got older, a fact of course Heil-Grenfell puts down to simple overeating...

But how often have you heard, or said, phrases like "I only look at a biscuit and put on 10 pounds" or "she's lucky, she can eat anything and stay a size 12"...

To me this shows some level of proof to the theory that our bodies know what they want to be, and will resist attempts to change them.

I also realise this could be used as an excuse, "I'm fat because my body wants to be."

It's tricky, and I think it shows we can't go too far either way.

We can't say "everyone has to look like THIS", but we also can't sit back and allow for potential health risks like obesity to flourish by simply saying "people can be as skinny or fat as they like..."

Surely there must be some kind of middle ground we can find?

From my recent trip to Living Coasts I took this picture from the underwater section...

It's had ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY NINE views in just two days...

Although I think I know why...

I jokingly called it "A Quick Upskirt" and tagged it upskirt... which means many of my links have been from slightly dodgy areas...

I've now popped a caption in...

Oh dear, I think some people looking at this are feeling dissapointed... :-D

Bad, naughty porn searchers ;-)

See, to get views on the web you just have to know what people want

So my lil family got a new member today...

Well I think she's purdy...

Was a bit wound up at myself, I'd promised myself I wouldn't buy any more stuff but this one was a bargain second hand in a local store...

Admittedly not as much a bargain as I originally thought cause I mixed up the lens with a different one... BUT... apart from annoyance at buying when I shouldn't have I think she'll be a well appreciated inclusion to the team...

It also counted as retail therapy to cheer me up, sort of... Might have done the opposite though...

Despite being down at work I still managed a couple of snaps today at random intervals...

Ladybird...

Dandelion...

Light through the tree...

Are there many things more irritating that updating Windows...?

"For these changes to take effect you need to restart your computer."

*Restart later button*

"Are you sure you want to restart later?"

*Yes button*

"Really sure, I would recommend it..."

*Yes button*

"Seriously, I think you should reconsider, restart now?"

*Restart later button*

"Ok then...
.
.
.
.
.
Look, are you REALLY sure?!"

*Yes button*

"Right, I'm hearing you... I'll just pop back in a few minutes to see if you've changed your mind..."

When I click restart later it's because I'm chatting and blogging and sorting photos, I don;t want to shut my entire system down just so .NET framework can update.

By 'later' I tend to mean more than 5 minutes from now...