Today I had to...

Go shoe shopping.

Now, it takes a lot for me to go shoe shopping and today was it, when the only shoes I have that aren't through on at least one sole are my big clumpy boots, not good for summertime...

Now I dislike shoe shopping for one simple reason.

I shop like a man.

By that I mean I know what I want, I go to the shop where they sell it and more often than not have rung and reserved it beforehand (our friendly local camera shop put things aside)

But shoes, SHOES you can't do that with, most shoe shops don't have fully featured website with up to date stock listings and a reservation system...

Thankfully I did have a goodish idea, a pair of trainers (which I didn't get) and possibly a pair of Converse baseball boots, I've got a pair like them and find them massively comfy so wanted some more.

I finally tracked some down but then had the dilemma... what colours...?

They even had some with writing and stuff on that had been specially designed... but a quick phone call to Subs informed me that I was, in fact, old, and those sorts of things are for people who are, in fact, young... So that narrowed the choice down a little.

I ended up with a black pair from that shop and got a red pair from another, which led to a bit of cheekyness on my part...

Although there was one price on the shelf there was a second price on the box that was 10 of our English pounds cheaper, so when it came up on the till as the shelf price I went "oh, there's a sticker there, says it's cheaper..."

The two people behind the counter checked, then needed to get a manager type who confirmed "yes indeed good sir, our pricing label does indeed give the price as 10 of your English pounds cheaper, allow me the pleasure of removing said total from your bill so you may renumerate this esteemed trading company with a lower total."

Well, it was something along those lines, I know that's what she WANTED to say...

So result

Shoe shopping done for another long time... took fecking ages though, although I had time for pics, mebbe them later

Welcome to another classic episode of Oh Fuck It's Monday...

It's sunny... SUNNY damn you! And numpty here didn't think to bring his good camera... and is stuck in work... and there are CHILDREN in the building who I may have to kill if they come in here bothering me...

I think the weather is sent deliberatly to torment us... I mean seriously, grey and patchy all the weekend and the first day back at work is bright blue sky and deep green landscapes out THERE *waving vaguely at the window* that I don't get to see or snap...

I had a really weird night last night, woke up twice during the night thinking I had cramp but didn't, had weird dreams too, can't for the life of me remember what they are but they got me all uncomfortable when waking... oh how exciting this post is so far, are we still awake?

*Humming the theme to Widdecome Fair*... don't ask...

*Scratching hands* I was, shock horror, doing some gardening today and had to clear a group of brambles out, not a fun task.

Personally I would have left them if only they'd agreed to the treaty negotiations but after annexing the entire North side of the lower garden they then decided to invade the Eastern Border and despite UN intervention refused to show contrition so had to be removed...

The battle was long and hard and, although being on the winning side I fear it was somewhat of a Phyrric victory as I now have small puncture wounds and scratches over much of me, knuckles, knees, calves, both balls...

...of my thumbs (what did you think I was gardening in?) and it's always the most irritating places, the places that rub and pull with any movement.

Such as typing... Oh dear.

On the plus side the brambles are currently in the recycling bin... or at least I think they are, hope they are.

Considering the fight it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest to find a Napoleonic bramble has taken exile next door and is currently plotting my downfall...

I'll tell you something, it was the dark blood red ones that worried me the most... it was like an elite squad of fighters...

Many a fable will be told of the Battle of Garden North...

I've found out I can no longer watch sports properly any more...

I've been finding it all through the last football season, it was getting worse and worse, and now with Wimbledon and Euro 2008 it's become an all encompassing difficulty...

For any normal person watching Come-On-Andy-Not-Tim Murray this is what they would have seen:

Me?

I see this:

I think it's a curse...

Note to self, can NOT afford one of those lenses... although the one I have would work for things like tennis... hmm...

Oh, and on the photography subject...

You may ask me three questions and I shall try to answer them. Things that you would like to know about me or my life, my past my future, what makes me tick, what makes me sick. From the mundane to the serious - fire away and I will endeavour to answer for you... but I make no promises!

Course, I'm only doing this because I can never think of questions to ask other people so I may plagiarise any I'm asked

Well, another reason not to cook in the nude, dont go spilling any of THIS...

Nicked from the Landers chap...

60 Things You Possibly Didn’t Know About Me [But Now You Do]

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?
An imaginary elk called Maurice.

2. When was the last time you threw up?
Can't remember actually.

3. Whats your favorite curse word?
Fuck.

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today? (I'll do yesterday, haven't smiled yet today...)
Subbalicious (taken as read)
Scoobydoofus
Soylady
(Weird, all Ss...)

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
Sleeping.

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Boringly blogging...

7. Have you ever been to a strip club?
No. (Seriously Subs, I havent!)

8. What is the last thing you said aloud?
"I see all the French ones are out."

9. When is your birthday?
A highly secret date known only to a highly select few (mostly ones who have to know it, they were there when it happened...)

10. What is the best ice cream flavor?
I like mint myself.

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Coke (How disturbing is it when scanning Landers' answers I read this one TOTALLY wrong...)

12. What are you wearing right now?
Black shorts, old beer-advertising tshirt.

13. What is the last thing you ate?
Ice cream last night.

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
No.

15. When was the last time you ran?
Err, not sure, last time I was coming out the station and the bus was pulling in probably.

16. What's the last sporting event you watched?
Wimbledon... I know, I know!

17. What's the last sport you played?
Gawd, thinking way back now

18. Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on myspace?
Jesus, that would have been ages ago, I never go on MySpace.

19. Ever go camping?
Yes.

20.Do you have a tan?
I have the traditional British male forearm browning.

21.Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?
Anything I wasn't specifically dropping off there? No.

22.What is your guilty pleasure?
I don't think I have one, most of my pleasures I find very hard to get guilty about, fukkit!

23.Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?
More on chat than on here but I do quite a bit, I think you have to sometimes.

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
No.

27. What are you doing tomorrow?
Probably taking at least a few photos, it's normally a given!

28. Where is your mom right now?
At home.

29. Look to your left, what do you see?
An empty Stella pint glass, A lightbox and two camera battery chargers.

30. What color is your watch?
Silver metal!

31. What do you think of when you think of Australia?
A pair of ex-bloggers.

32. Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
No.

33. What is your birthstone?
I'm Devonian, we all have granite

34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive through?
I go in, I do occasionally do the drive in but the looks I get walking through are offputting...

35. What is your favorite number?
9.

36. Do you have a dog?
Not any more

37. Last person you talked to on the phone?
Subs.

38. Have you met anyone famous?
Yes.

39. Any plans today?
Photographs? Other than that not much.

40. How many provinces have you lived in?
OK, I'm guessing this one came from Menoland or Flickyland, with the Aussie question above I'm guessing the homeland of our very favourite upside down flying lady... So lets make it British, I've lived in 1 county.

41. Ever go to college?
Yes, if you count 6th form.

42. Where are you right now?
In a weird maelstrom of emotion as I slowly attempt to make sense of my life and my future career along with... Oh, right, I see what you mean, on the sofa.

43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
Four letters, begins with W, ends with K... Jeez, no, not THAT word!

44. Last song listened to?
Section 18 Everything Starts at the Seam, Polyphonic Spree.

46. Are you allergic to anything?
Chlorine.

47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
It was a tatty old pair of trainers but they've got too knackered now so it's a pair of Red canvas baseball boots.

48. Taste in your mouth right now?
Err, don't really have one.

49. Are you jealous of anyone?
Not in a way where I want to kill them and steal their life... Just the usual pettyness of wishing I had their money, looks, social skills etc. It passes.

50. Is anyone jealous of you?
If they are I pity what THEIR lives must be like...

51. Do you love anyone?
Yes.

52. Do any of your friends have children?
Yes.

53. Do you eat healthy?
Actually I'm about to make a salad for lunch... mostly though I'm hoping the bits of red pepper in sausages count towards my five-a-day...

54. What do you usually do during the day?
One or both of my jobs.

55. Do you hate anyone right now?
Hmm, it's a strong word, I heavily dislike some people.

58. Do you own any big sunglasses?
No.

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
No.

60. How did you get one of your scars?
I'm trying to think which is more entertaining, the one from the A-frame at school, the one from an overzealous partner in a badminton match or the one where I collided with the corner of a building and could see my kneecap...

Following on from my previous post...

If elected I promise to inundate the country with pictures of cute birds and water drops...

Seriously Gordon, a year in charge and you've just come FIFTH in a by-election behind the Green Party and the bloody British Nazi Party!

I personally try to stay out of politics, I don't vote, I think they're all as bad as each other but you know, I feel right now the goverment is like a local resteraunt...

The original chef, who you didn't really like but at least made a passable pie, moved on to be a chef in Europe and the new one just used to be the lad who took your money at the till.

You try to go back but all of a sudden everything is second rate, the service has fallen and you realise you really, REALLY need a new place to go.

I personally think ANY government has a shelf life, bollocks to policies etc it's just human nature.

A large percentage of the voting public don't actually register policies, personal morals or future plans, a lot of it flies over a normal person's head, so they go on form, like picking a racehorse.

During a government's time all the bad things, all the difficulties, all the percieved "grabbing politics" of extra taxes and fines all pile up on a government and people want that "New Broom" that'll fix things.

Of course these days the crap will pile up again, the fixed things either wont get fixed or be replaced by new broken bits... and the whole rigmarole begins again, if the Tories get in in the next election I don't think it'll be more than three or four General Elections before they're back out again, it's all cyclical.

There's only one true solution...

The BCUK party...

So, newly resigned David Davis will have 25 other people going for his seat in the bye-election to get his seat back...

Now, that interested me... TWENTY FIVE? Especially considering Labour and the Lib Dems weren't putting anyone forward, so I thought I'd take a look...

So, remove the Tory and the 13 independents and we're left with 12 other parties, with a few interesting names.

* David Icke - No party listed - Yep, THE David Icke, the ex goalkeeping, shellsuit-wearing, alien-invasion-warning self-proclaimed Son of God. Oh. Dear.

* Mad Cow-Girl - The Official Monster Raving Loony Party - Well, I spose a Raving Looney was inevitable... other than David Icke.

It must be said there's a highly refreshing lack of the British Nazi Party but we do have...

* Tess Culnane - National Front Britain for the British (NATIONAL FRONT?!)

and...

* Joanne Robinson - English Democrats: Putting England First

Both of which I expect read the Daily Mail...

* Shan Oakes - Green Party

...who reads Michael Moore...

* Christopher John Talbot - Socialist Equality Party

...who reads the works of Karl Marx and...

* Gemma Dawn Garrett - Miss Great Britain Party

...who reads the label in her knickers to make sure they're her own.

There are a few others who's parties are so outstandingly dull I haven't even heard of them but one final name did catch my eye...

* David Laurence Bishop - Church of the Militant Elvis Party

Well, I know who I'm voting for then (or would if I lived there), the king of Rock and Roll with an Uzi... That might actually make BBC Parliament worth watching...

...Nick will be vexed and he'll take it out on us...

Dya want that on your conscience, do you!?

(seriously, hope yer ok mate...)

I tend to avoid the queues at the railway station by using the ticket machines... and personally I don't find them all that difficult, decide on destination, decide on ticket, pay...

However, I seem to be the lucky one... for the elderly lady in front of me today the transaction appeared to go like this:

"insert credit card" *fwip*
"type access number"
"type name"
"type mother's maiden name"
"type grandmother's maiden name"
"type Brenda from number 18's maiden name"
"type date of birth of nearest relative with Type O blood"
"type the stating eleven of the 1972 FA Cup winning sides, including middle names"
"type 42 digit access code to Fort Knox vault"
"type vital statistics of nearest single relative aged 18-30, phone number and name of station staff most likely to get a date"
"type winner of 2010 Academy Award Winner of Best Actor.... awaiting result... waiting... waiting..."

ARRRRG!

I'd have gone in and bought a ticket but then I know with my luck I'd have been stuck behind the old bloke who wants to travel to Crewe via Aberystwyth and Aberdeen, then needs to check EVERY train time, the type of train and wants a reservation on the same seat as last time...

I only wish I was joking about the last bit, I was once stuck behind a couple causing problems because they couldn't have seats 41 and 42 in coach D like they did the last time they travelled...

aaaand breathe... ruddy railway stations.

Right, onto more cute birds, although I fear these are merely an advertising gimmick...

*cheesy music*

The next time you feel like a break, why not try the classy Chez AJ in Sunny Devon...

The surroundings are scenic...

...with many a helpful local to chat to...

We have Michelin Award dining facilities...

Along with a top class combined drinking establishment...

...and pool.

So next time you want to shake your tail... try Chez AJ...

I had my good camera kit with me yesterday so after work I nipped round a local park where I knew the birds would be out in force...

Some parts around the lake require a guard-gull...

And some wandering patrolmen checking friend or foe...

...and, obviously, the water-bourne protection...

Thoughtful...

Synchronised Swimming...

Enemy in sight, DIVE, DIVE!

Can you tell Mum this isn't dignified...?

Basking...

Swan...

Cygnet siblings...

I'm having serious enthusiasm and morale problems right now, I can't believe I'm STILL somewhere I don't want to be and despite much whoring of my second self haven't even had a reply, let alone any vague interest...

I fear last weekend my optimism drew it's final breath, I'm back to the original me waking up with a fukkit attitude and a complete lack of caring, it's only a matter of time before I get in trouble I imagine...

Anyway, blah, blah, blah...

Despite my postcode being the only place in the county with thick cloud cover (seriously, outside the borders all you could see was blue sky) I still managed to grab some photos, limited myself to my 50mm lens to add a bit of challenge...

...and if the arguments over the remote get too much, who ya gonna call...?

As you all know raindrops are one of my favourite subjects for snapping, especially when on plants and flowers.

I sometimes see one that makes me imagine a small world, a world inside the drop that's maybe a microcosm of our own...

Or it could just be a drop of H2O and I'm talking twaddle...

...decisions, decisions...

There's a big conference of beer producers. At the end of the day, all of the presidents of all the beer companies decide to have a drink in a bar.

The president of 'Budweiser' orders a Bud, the president of 'Miller' orders a Miller Lite, Adolph Coors orders a Coors, and the list goes on.

Then the waitress asks Arthur Guinness what he wants to drink, and much to everybody's amazement, Mr. Guinness orders a Coke!

"Why don't you order a Guinness?" his colleagues ask.

"Naah. If you guys won't drink beer, than neither will I."

...a thousand words, which is bloody good cause I'm feeling quiet today...

Type in what the questions ask you into Google search and use the first thing that comes up as your answer.

1. Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search:
Andy needs a BAD girl to find his focus and replace Mandy. It may be a good thing Subs is offline at the mo...

2. Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:
Well, Andy looks like a tool. Err, thanks! Although...

3. Type in "[your name] likes" in Google search:
Andy Likes His Tools. And I thought opposites attract...

4. Type in "[your name] says" in Google search:
Shut Up and do What Andy Says. Well, I think it's good advice...

5. Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search:
The Andy wants a Fuck Test. No words...

6. Type in "[your name] does" in Google search:
Andy does his dance routine. My fancy feet are legendary...

7. Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search:
Andy Hates Technology. Oh yes, never find me with a gadget...

8. Type in "[your name] goes" in Google search:
Andy Goes Pop. Coming to Channel 5 soon...

9. Type in "[your name] loves" in Google search:
Andy loves his books. Hmm, that I do...

10. Type in "[your name] has" in Google search:
Andy has a great narration voice. Aww, shucks...

11. Type in "[your name] gets" in the Google search:
Andy gets back to nature. Well, I did but everyone else in the office complained so I got dressed again...

12. Type in "[your name] eats" in the Google search:
Andy eats a spatula. It's good with custard...

13. Type in "[your name] can" in the Google search:
Court of King Andy can't disguise this charmless man. I dunno, my Court is very persuasive...

14. Type in "[your name] drinks" in the Google search:
Andy Drinks Tea on Flickr. ...but hot chocolate on Facebook.

15. Type in "[your name] makes" in the Google search:
Andy Makes a Movie. But the BBFC says I'm not allowed to release it...

Clicky!

A couple days ago I wrote this on the "What Makes You Cheerful" blog group...

It's not that there isn't enough beauty in the world, it's just in the world today we don't get enough time to look for it.

An just to prove me right this was lying on a crummy, concrete Plymothian pavement today...

I though I'd drowned a spider yesterday, filled up a jug to water some of the plants and it had summat in it, which turned out to be Stuart...

He managed to swim around, avoid getting tipped out watering the plants and even (this is where the silly comes in) tried to go back up into the jug when I was holding it over a bush to try and get him out... eejit that he is...

Thankfully he finally gave in and took up the new accommodation offered...

Sorry, random tale there...

So, installed Firefox 3...

Don't like Firefox 3, a lot of my add-ons dont work any more and it's not as good...

Found Firefox 2 and downloaded that to install...

Firefox 2 crashes when I try and run it...

Arse...

EDIT: Woohoo! Quick system restore and a reinstall and I'm back with FF2!

Destroyed my old one, got a new one on the way, bugger, new pin number to remember...

SO, I will now become a digital recluse, my new credit card will never, EVER be used online...

...bollocks to that I've got another lens on my buying horizon... (Hey, people spend THOUSANDS pimping cars, I don't have one, this is my addiction)

To be honest I'm amazed it's taken this long of me buying things online before someone got my details, it's a disturbing fact of today's society, more likely than not it'll happen eventually...

I found out yesterday that someone's used my credit card to sign up for an account at emusic.com, one of those digital media download places.

Slightly vexing, it's not a big amount of money but I'd like it back so I thought I'd email them before I contacted my credit card today, give them a heads up and find out what they had to say about it... Dunno why I bothered...

Your eMusic account associated with the email address "my email" is now canceled.

OK, so that would be the email address I specifically said in my note to you didn't have an account, something you yourselves told me when I was checking out your site... In which case you've cancelled nothing and they could still be ready to take another chunk of cash next month...

My manager has authorized an exception to our no-refund policy on your behalf.

Are you saying you even have a no refund policy for fraudulent payments?!

To reactivate your account, simply log in, select the plan you would like, and follow the prompts to reactivate your account. Please also note that your download history will be removed from our database if you do not rejoin within 60 days.

I love this little factoid so much it makes me tingle... So even now you've cancelled it Chucky-Boy (if you have cancelled it not simply deleted something that wasn't there) the nurk who used my details can nip on with his email address, the one that's NOT mine, and reactivate his account, choose a payment plan and pop more on my card?

I got the impression this was a semi-automated response, a pick the paragraphs from a menu type job...

Needless to say a reply was sent that was a teeny bit tetchy and I'll ring my card's wonderfully titled "Unknown Payments" section...

Hello,

My name is Andy Spencer, I'm a photographer based in Devon, shooting mostly landscape and floral shots, and wondered if any of my images might be of interest to you.

I've attached some low-res, shrunk versions of a few of my shots for you to have a look at as a representation of my work and to see if you might be interested. More, including some of my other types of work such as pets, bugs and birds, can be found on my website http://www.devon-photography.co.uk although these are, again, low resolution samples.

Many thanks for your time and any feedback gratefully received.

Best wishes,

Andy Spencer
http://www.devon-photography.co.uk

Let's see if they agree with Fotolia that I'm not any good... Now, where's that Burger King application...

...and yes, that's pAWn...

I'm going through my stuff right now to find various things I could sell off in order to assist my photography fetish...

To start with I've got a couple lenses I don't need, a long zoom and the little kit lens I got with the camera although I might not bother with that one, might not get much for it.

(Gotta make a short break from topic... one of the new Gladiators on Sky has the catchphrase "When the Tempest (her) gets wild, someone's gonna get wet." ok...)

Anyway, back to subject... got a load of DVDs I could sell, and I'm actually thinking of selling my PS2 and games...

I never really get a chance to use it anymore, I spend half my day on the fake career and the rest of it out snapping and doing work for the real career.

I suppose I could use it as and when I get rid of the job that's just around right now to make me enough money to live on but I can't say I'm that enthused anymore, rather than sat on a sof