tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-11-07:/Grab a pub stool and a drink of your choice as the landlord gives his views on life and views of life through his lens.MokoFeed2009-11-07T17:00:36+01:00tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-11-06:/2009/11/06/derek-acora-7323088/ajnspencer2009-11-06T23:48:13+01:002009-11-06T23:48:13+01:00 <p>I wonder if Derek Acora actually believes what he does, in which case he's hearing voices and having hallucinations and really should get some professional mental help.</p> <p>Or, like most <del>fraudsters preying on the unfortunate and potentially desperate</del> psychics, does he just wake up every morning thinking "this is great, I get PAID for this shit".</p> <p>Whatever Jackson might have done in his life does he REALLY deserve the money grabbing sensationalism of a live seance just to eke Every. Single. Quid. from his early death?</p> <p>At least it means I'm a Celebrity... ISN'T actually the worst piece of TV in November for the first time in years. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/11/06/derek-acora-7323088/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-11-06:/2009/11/06/the-cambridge-fireworks-display-7319218/ajnspencer2009-11-06T13:59:30+01:002009-11-06T13:59:30+01:00 <p>...was astounding last night.</p> <p class="center"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/124/4082124_2fde9da205_m.jpeg" alt="P1000851"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/11/06/the-cambridge-fireworks-display-7319218/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-11-05:/2009/11/05/got-myself-a-little-something-7311651/ajnspencer2009-11-05T12:30:37+01:002009-11-05T12:30:37+01:00 <p>...for the journey...</p> <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/496/4078496_be4f6d8132_m.jpeg" alt="layton"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/11/05/got-myself-a-little-something-7311651/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-11-04:/2009/11/04/interesting-7308177/ajnspencer2009-11-04T20:51:39+01:002009-11-04T20:53:18+01:00 <p>Now, I understand minimalism and all that but I'm not sure I'd describe removing functionality as new and improved...</p> <p>We're going to make a feature better... by limiting it.</p> <p>Even though I never tag my posts (and frankly get pissed off by the "are you SURE you don't want to tag" screen on posting) I have on many occasions used profile tags etc.</p> <p>No offence guys, hopefully you know I'm normally happy to try and see the reasoning behind changes and be positive, but this time I don't see any reason or benefit to the users.</p> <p>I'm afraid it smacks as something that might benefit the site itself but not those using it, in which case it's more understandable but most of us would rather simply be told that as opposed to... creative reality painting that tells us it's for our own enjoyment. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/11/04/interesting-7308177/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-11-04:/2009/11/04/disney-princesses-7305191/ajnspencer2009-11-04T13:18:45+01:002009-11-04T13:18:45+01:00 <p><a href="http://jeftoonportfolio.blogspot.com/2009/02/twisted-princess.html" title="twistedprincess_beautyandth"><strong>...as you've never seen them before.</strong></a></p> <p class="center"><a href="http://jeftoonportfolio.blogspot.com/2009/02/twisted-princess.html" title="twistedprincess_beautyandth"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/436/4075436_c6289481a6_m.jpeg" alt="twistedprincess_beautyandth"></a></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/11/04/disney-princesses-7305191/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-11-03:/2009/11/03/nerdcom-7301525/ajnspencer2009-11-03T21:15:49+01:002009-11-03T21:15:49+01:00 <p class="center"><a href="http://xkcd.com/612/"><img src="http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/estimation.png" alt="" title=""></a></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/11/03/nerdcom-7301525/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-11-03:/2009/11/03/kelly-brook-s-big-buns-7298244/ajnspencer2009-11-03T12:38:18+01:002009-11-03T12:38:18+01:00 <p>A question if I may. Hands up (in the context of the question perhaps I should say BOTH hands up) if this picture seems excessively titillating to you...</p> <p>Feel free to click it and something bigger should pop up... as it were.</p> <p class="center"><a href="javascript:window.open(" title="kb1"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/622/4071622_7fd54d9af5_s.jpeg" alt="kb1"></a></p> <p>This is a shot they're using at the moment for the stageplay of Calendar Girls in the West End. For anyone not in the know it's about the first Women's Institute group to bare all for a nude calendar as a fund raiser.</p> <p>So, anyone feeling a paroxysm of lust?</p> <p>Anybody had to stop reading for a quick application of a groinal ice pack?</p> <p>Have all my readership had to nip off to "fix something" in a more private location?</p> <p>Nope, me neither.</p> <p>I think I can admit Miss Brook is an averagely attractive woman and there was a touch of cleavage on show there. But in this world of freely available porn, red-top newspapers with a higher nipple-per-square-foot ratio than a beach in the south of France and late night Channel 5 programming isn't this picture a tad... tame?</p> <p>I've looked at the image and as it stands my nether regions have a tumescence quotient of zero. I'm not suddenly feeling flushed or excited. I don't feel the need to save said image on my computer for later perusal.</p> <p>It's an advertising shot for a play about the WI getting their kit off, the general comedy stance of the image means it's less sexual than a lot of the underwear or perfume ads around these days, how many Calvin Klein ads have men in their pants showing off their freakishly bare chests for all to see?</p> <p>But Transport for London has decided that it's an inappropriate image for Tube advertising and has forced them to make the Brookal buns larger.</p> <p class="center"><a href="javascript:window.open(" title="kb2"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/623/4071623_14c7af28c1_s.jpeg" alt="kb2"></a></p> <p>Now you and I will take a look at that picture and basically say "all they've done is stretch the buns out to the exact shape of her breasts, and with the cherry nipples it's just as bad as it was."</p> <p>Well, some of us are saying "TfL are a company that specialises in driving cylindrical objects into mildly damp tunnels until they drop a load on a nearby area" but most of us are saying the first thing.</p> <p>I find it hard to tell the difference between the two shots, they've simply made it more about the suggestion of breasts than the breasts themselves... which to my definition makes it more titillating (if it does it for you) rather than less. That is the point of titillation to my mind after all, the suggestion as opposed to the actual baring.</p> <p>What seems even stranger is that customers are free to read their red-tops on tube trains, pushing their multitude of nipples into the faces of anyone near them.</p> <p>They're also free to wear almost anything, I have in the past seen women on the Tube wearing things that show off a lot more even than the first picture.</p> <p>The thing with all of these items however is for them to be sexual you have to go LOOKING for it.</p> <p>I would suggest it's a major minority of tube travellers who would see the first picture and feel the need for a quick fiddle (especially as if you're THAT person then there's better to be had with some good old fashioned frotting).</p> <p>If you're going to panic about this stuff it's going to have to be one thing or another, not simply suggesting that the second image is fine for us to see because there's a touch more bun covering the boob.</p> <p>Or just be fecking logical and realise you're not going to end up with Tube travellers openly fondling themselves over a comedy shot of Kelly Brook advertising a ruddy West End show. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/11/03/kelly-brook-s-big-buns-7298244/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-11-03:/2009/11/03/the-ultimate-guide-to-procrastination-7297263/ajnspencer2009-11-03T09:30:09+01:002009-11-03T09:30:09+01:00 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/202/4071202_40c5ec87b3_m.jpeg" alt="procrastination1"></p> <p>Actually... I think I'll write it tomorrow... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/11/03/the-ultimate-guide-to-procrastination-7297263/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-11-02:/2009/11/02/you-have-no-idea-how-true-7292757/ajnspencer2009-11-02T15:45:05+01:002009-11-02T15:45:05+01:00 <p>...<a href="http://xkcd.com/627/"><strong>THIS</strong></a> is... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/11/02/you-have-no-idea-how-true-7292757/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-10-27:/2009/10/27/and-the-alienation-goes-on-7252337/ajnspencer2009-10-27T11:23:54+01:002009-10-27T11:23:54+01:00 <p>So, you may recall me posting about how the Royal Mail staff, prompted by a Union (insert your own tone of disgust there) are slowly but surely eroding public confidence in them.</p> <p>Well, seems their plans to get us all to move to a different carrier have slowed a bit so they're boosting them a little with a new plan.</p> <p><a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/8327158.stm"><strong>Legal action.</strong></a></p> <p>So, they've thoughtfully decided they're not going to do anything with our post, and now are trying to block plans for the Royal Mail to hire temps to help get through the backlog and, hopefully sometime this new millennium, <em>get us our own post</em>.</p> <p>I don't know who the man is in charge of the Communications Workers Union is... but I'm finding it hard not to picture him with a bald head, grey suit, no earlobes and stroking a white cat... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/10/27/and-the-alienation-goes-on-7252337/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-10-26:/2009/10/26/cats-nature-s-supermodels-7246136/ajnspencer2009-10-26T12:05:38+01:002009-10-26T12:05:38+01:00 <p>I posted this on my new <a href="http://blog.devon-photography.co.uk"><strong>work blog</strong></a>, but thought I'd cut and paste it here as well...<br> <br> <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HfAWruKIAPk/SuV6E2ZNdZI/AAAAAAAAAH8/1-3AR6RUd-w/s1600-h/cat2.jpg"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HfAWruKIAPk/SuV6E2ZNdZI/AAAAAAAAAH8/1-3AR6RUd-w/s200/cat2.jpg" alt="" border="0"></a>Let's be honest, anyone who's been owned by a cat (and trust me, that's how the relationship works) is sure of one thing.</p> <p>A cat never does anything it doesn't want to do.</p> <p>Dogs are different, mainly because people own dogs, not the other way around. Cats are simply keeping their slaves amused until they next need the litter tray cleaning, food or something to scratch, like furniture, a cushion... or your arm.</p> <p>Don't get me wrong, I love cats and I love taking photographs of them but one thing you can be sure of is that if a cat doesn't want its photo taken you won't get one... but if it does? It'll do more than sit there looking pretty, it'll happily pose for you.</p> <p><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HfAWruKIAPk/SuV5_TM3j-I/AAAAAAAAAH0/Xpqs_UAYvng/s1600-h/cat1.jpg"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HfAWruKIAPk/SuV5_TM3j-I/AAAAAAAAAH0/Xpqs_UAYvng/s200/cat1.jpg" alt="" border="0"></a>I have over the years realised that cats are basically the supermodels of the animal kingdom.</p> <p>Think about the stereotype of a supermodel, they're very self assured and want to be treated like royalty. They want to be fed the best possible food, pampered and petted and generally treated like a rare jewel.</p> <p>They're beautiful and graceful and they know darn well they are, so they know that anything they do to grace your life and your viewfinder is for you to work for and be grateful!</p> <p>Sound familiar to anyone with a cat?</p> <blockquote><p>"I don't get out of bed for less than 5 cans of food and a catnip toy..."</blockquote> Get a cat to actually allow a photograph to be taken and you know you're in the presence of a model.</p> <p><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HfAWruKIAPk/SuV6MEnQ5uI/AAAAAAAAAIE/jfjLhC6g4Jg/s1600-h/cat3.jpg"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HfAWruKIAPk/SuV6MEnQ5uI/AAAAAAAAAIE/jfjLhC6g4Jg/s200/cat3.jpg" alt="" border="0"></a>It's more than just pulling a pose, it's the general attitude, added to the ability to sit absolutely still while the photos are being taken... I think these days my sister's cats are feline versions of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivan_Pavlov">Pavlov's dog</a>, primed to understand the sound of a camera shutter.</p> <p>Of course, once a cat has decided you've had enough of it's precious time and it needs to be off for more important things like sleep or birdicide it'll just go, leaving its apologetic <del>owner</del> entourage to suggest another time when your people can meet the cat's people for lunch and organise another shoot...</p> <p>You know what though? However hard the work is to get a good photo of a cat... it's normally more than worth it.</p> <p>Andy </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/10/26/cats-nature-s-supermodels-7246136/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-10-25:/2009/10/25/forget-the-clocks-put-common-sense-back-7240356/ajnspencer2009-10-25T14:07:45+01:002009-10-25T14:07:45+01:00 <p>Every year, every fricking year.</p> <p>Yes, we've put the clocks back, which means logically everythings an hour later than the clocks say compared to what we have been dealing with.</p> <p>But do we REALLY need the same panic each and every late October?</p> <p>"Woe, woe on pedestrians and cyclists, it's darker in the evenings, they're all going to die!!! They're doomed, DOOMED I tells ya!"</p> <p>I think the phrase I'm looking for is... For. Fucks. Sake.</p> <p>Every year various nanny groups complain about the fact the clock change means we have darker evenings but, in complete discordance with logic, science and reality, car drivers etc wont actually KNOW it's darker.</p> <p>I mean after all, if you were born in one of the countries that changes the clocks then obviously you've only had at least 17 years of experiencing it under your belt.</p> <p>Obviously you'll go out, take one look at the impenetrable gloom surrounding you and go "I didn't need my lights on at 7.30pm 3 months ago so I won't need them now!"</p> <p>People realise it gets darker, it also gets darker even if we don't change the clocks, it's called the seasons, summer = long days, winter = short days... it's how the planet works and not changing the clocks won't magically mean all our days are suddenly 14 hours of daylight.</p> <p>You just KNOW at the end of last week and the beginning of this one there'll be a collection of unutterably dull phone calls to the poor bastards at local radio stations saying we should all ban the clock change as it will be solely to blame for every goddamn accident in the next 6 months.</p> <p>"Well, someone drove into the back of me on Sunday... he was drunk, on cocaine, 16 years old and the car he was driving had no brakes or steering... but he would have missed me if it was a tiny bit lighter out!"</p> <p>God, it's like we're going to be thrown into 6 months of darkness because of 60 measly minutes.</p> <p>For once it would be nice to do something as simple as a minuscule change in the time and not have hundreds of whiners, naysayers and doom-merchants appear all over the media suggesting it's only the wearing of an illuminated vest that stands between us and the apocalypse.</p> <p>Sometimes I think we should just remove all warnings from the world and let natural selection back into our lives... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/10/25/forget-the-clocks-put-common-sense-back-7240356/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-10-24:/2009/10/24/zzzzzzzzzzzz-7236902/ajnspencer2009-10-24T19:53:33+02:002009-10-24T19:53:33+02:00 <p>Nabbed at <a href="http://emailsfromcrazypeople.com/2009/10/24/i-need-an-old-priest-and-a-young-priest/"><strong>Emails From Crazy People</strong></a>...</p> <blockquote><p>To: Paranormal Researchers of Ohio <a href="mailto:GhostInvestigators@****.net">GhostInvestigators@****.net</a><br> From: XXXxx @ gmail.com<br> Subject: possessed?<br> Date: Sat, 12 Sep 2009 20:45:12 -0400</p> <p>“Please help! The activity has been going on since I first married my wife six years ago, but the occurrences have been increasing to the point of happening every night. Ever since I got married and started living with my wife, I have heard loud, strange noises coming from her when she sleeps. I used to think it was snoring because it would happen only when she had a cold or something. But now it’s like every night, and it’s getting LOUDER (I could best describe the sounds as a cross between a fog horn, a feline mating shriek and microphone feedback).</p> <p>“I’ve had other people who have heard it tell me that it is indeed just her snoring, but I am convinced that she is possessed by some sort of spirit. Can you please send a team to my home in Willoughby, Ohio to investigate while she sleeps? Maybe do an EMF sweep or some thermal imaging of her? I’m at my wits end. I can’t get any sleep, and I have nightmares that she’s possessed by the voice of Froggy from the “Little Rascals.” It’s just really screwing with my mind.</p> <p>Please help!<br> XXXxx”</p></blockquote> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/10/24/zzzzzzzzzzzz-7236902/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-10-23:/2009/10/23/vader-king-of-zamunda-7232051/ajnspencer2009-10-23T21:15:09+02:002009-10-23T21:15:26+02:00 <p>Take James Earl Jones from Coming To America and paste him in as James Earl Jones in the opening scene of Star Wars.</p> <p>Loving this! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/10/23/vader-king-of-zamunda-7232051/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-10-23:/2009/10/23/how-sad-is-this-7228032/ajnspencer2009-10-23T10:28:26+02:002009-10-23T10:28:26+02:00 <p>Just got a leaflet through the door from a local jewellers doing the old cash for gold thing.</p> <p>To be fair they didn't use an unblinking horror from the Dungeon Dimensions that's half man, half gecko... but still when I read it I was a tad melancholy.</p> <p>They give examples of the sort of thing they want, single earrings, broken chains etc, pointing out that scrap gold and silver is valuable right now.</p> <p>That's a word I want you to keep in your mind for the next bit, "scrap".</p> <p>In this leaflet they also point out that they take wedding rings ("We pay at least £20 each!") and war medals. OK, perhaps the rings are a possibility if the break up was especially bad but war medals?</p> <blockquote><p>Losing an old relative who was a war veteran?</p> <p>Be happy! You can make a profit by letting us melt down those irreplaceable memories of their courage and make chunky chavlaces to sell to 12-year-old car thieves in Argos...</p></blockquote> <p>Or the even worse thought... how fucked up has this country got when there's a chance somewhere in it there's a pensioner sat with the horrible dilemma of choosing between keeping his medal for gallantry... or his house being heated over winter. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/10/23/how-sad-is-this-7228032/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-10-23:/2009/10/23/dear-replicahandbags-why-bother-7227966/ajnspencer2009-10-23T10:16:39+02:002009-10-23T10:16:39+02:00 <p>As it stands my blog is moderated, obviously not for people on my friends list but the wider world.</p> <p>So perhaps Mr "replica handbags" can answer me a little question about the intelligence of spammers.</p> <p>Why do you bother wasting your time leaving your pointless spam-apples on a moderated blog? Once I could understand but then when that one fails to appear you try again?</p> <p>Were you hoping that I might think my blog was missing a little something?</p> <p>That I'd be sitting here thinking... "well, I spent ages on the design, I like to be quite thoughtful with posts, got a good set of comments from intelligent people... but... I really need some utter shite copied and pasted like a parrot that advertises a probably dodgy site supposedly selling replica handbangs, that'll be the coup de grace."</p> <p>I like that touch, not <em>real</em> handbags, that would be a touch too classy.</p> <p>No, what I want advertising in my blog is cheap knock-offs put together by 7 year old children in Africa somewhere in their breaks from sewing Man Utd shirts.</p> <p>What's your tagline? "Handbags that'll last a <strong>THOUSAND</strong> seconds..."</p> <p>Seriously, if a blog is moderated it means one thing, they don't want fucking spam. So piss off to a more lax blog and comment-poop on their garden instead... or better yet, crawl away altogether. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/10/23/dear-replicahandbags-why-bother-7227966/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-10-22:/2009/10/22/i-think-they-should-be-worried-7225115/ajnspencer2009-10-22T20:22:04+02:002009-10-22T20:22:04+02:00 <p>Royal Mail that is...</p> <p>I must have received at least a half dozen emails in the last week or two from online shops and sites proclaiming that they're safe to deal with because "we don't use the Royal Mail".</p> <p>I'm not going to get into a long thing about the strikes, even though I could rant on for ages about the sheer idiocy and troublemaking ability of most unions...</p> <p>But, purely with any sense of self preservation these people should realise the potentially fatal blows they're dealing the Royal Mail.</p> <p>Now, the company is a constant favourite target for local radio listeners and when I was working the phones we would cry with despair when someone on-air said anything about the Royal Mail because we would instantly be inundated with FAR too many phone calls from listeners that all went nigh on precisely to the same script.</p> <p>"I sent my child/grandchild/aunt/sister/uncle of dubious origin a birthday card and it took TWO DAYS to get there..."</p> <p>If I had a quid for every time I've heard something pretty much exactly on those lines I'd be a fecking millionaire.</p> <p>Just between you and me whenever anyone mentioned the mail I'd try and find an excuse to go get a cup of tea, you just knew there would be no usable callers for at least half an hour, and God forbid you put ONE on because then you'd get 10 times as many and they'd all want to know why they haven't been "let on air" despite the fact they were going to say exactly the same as the last caller, the BBC have enough repeats as it is...</p> <p>But, moving on from local radio listeners and their overbearing belief in their own importance let's just take a little look at that statement.</p> <p>I would say that the fact they were enraged that a small card, posted often as not after midday in Devon, HADN'T made it's way to the wilds of Newcastle or Aberdeen by the very next day is something of a compliment.</p> <p>That tells me that whatever they may be saying there has been a modicum of respect in the delivery abilities of the Royal Mail to take this sort of thing or granted. After all, the whole mail service is, in fact, a stunningly complex area of logistics.</p> <p>Now? Now we move on from jokes and the ramblings of people with nothing better to do at lunchtime than ring up a radio station and bitch.</p> <p>Now we have big companies writing to customers using the fact they DON'T use the Royal Mail as a selling point. Advertising bluntly that the best thing they can think of right now to get you, the lucky schmuk currently holding onto what they class as <em>their</em> money, to part with that money is to tell you who it doesn't use to deliver your purchases.</p> <p>It's also worrying that they're doing this with a fervour normal people would put towards pointing out they're not a member of the BNP...</p> <p>Well, obviously other than the aforementioned local radio listeners, mainly because they are.</p> <p>I have no real knowledge of what other methods can be used to try and get things in line between the Royal Mail and the Union (probably involving large amounts of money and a directorship given to the head of the union, normally works...) but more strikes are simply driving a bigger and bigger wedge between the company and the public.</p> <p>Remember, people don't care that much about the general health and happiness of people doing jobs for them, their bigger care is that the job is done WELL.</p> <p>Don't look at me like that, like I'm some cynical extremist...</p> <p>Do you care whether your waiter on a night out is happy? Does it bother you whether he's getting good money, good benefits and an athletic girlfriend who does fun things with a pilates ball?</p> <p>Of course not, you care that the right food is brought in good time and with good service.</p> <p>Will most people on the street panic about whether Bob in the sorting office has enough money to buy a new laptop?</p> <p>Are they going to want to know whether their postman is getting his correct holiday allowance?</p> <p>Or are they going to care that their post is delivered promptly and safely (ironically perhaps involving a laptop or holiday tickets)?</p> <p>If a second service starts up then people will move over, there may be some kind of loyalty in a way through sentimentality towards the Royal Mail, but that'll soon fall from people's minds.</p> <p>Surely even they can see the self-defeating nature of these strikes? Sooner or later some clever bugger is going to come up with a second mail service with the far reach of the Mail... and if they carry on how they are the Union involved in these strikes might find it's them that are hammering the nails into the RM coffin. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/10/22/i-think-they-should-be-worried-7225115/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-10-18:/2009/10/18/double-british-champions-7195737/ajnspencer2009-10-18T19:08:19+02:002009-10-18T19:08:19+02:00 <p>A few interesting stats...</p> <p>The last time two British drivers won the F1 Championship in successive years - 1968/1969 with Graham Hill and Jackie Stewart.</p> <p>The last time two British drivers won the F1 Championship in successive years driving for a British team - '62/'63 with Graham Hill in a BRM and Jim Clark in a Lotus.</p> <p>The last time a British Driver was on top of the premier motor-racing championships on both sides of the Atlantic - Never.</p> <p>Never have the Brits had the F1 Championship winner AND the American Champ/Indy Car winner too.</p> <p>As I said the other day, a reason to be proud.</p> <p>And my GOD does Button deserve to be proud, today's race truly let him show off the fact he's one of the best in the business, in ways that are driver-orientated, not car-orientated.</p> <p>As we've seen a driver can have a fast car but without the talent and the aggression he can be stuck behind a slower car.</p> <p>Some of his overtaking today was stunning and made the difference at the end of the race, the reason he got the points he did was because he refused to settle for what he had and fought for every place, making some classic overtaking moves that should easily make the end-of-season highlight reel.</p> <p>So, congratulations to Jenson Button and Dario Franchitti for two excellent achievements!</p> <p>Oh, and a special award goes to Heikki Kovalainen for daring to do what we all wish we could...</p> <p>No, not race an F1 car, set fire to a Ferrari!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/10/18/double-british-champions-7195737/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-10-18:/2009/10/18/pretty-cool-7192612/ajnspencer2009-10-18T11:06:08+02:002009-10-18T11:06:08+02:00 <p>I certainly didn't do the video but most of the static images are ones I took...</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/10/18/pretty-cool-7192612/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-10-16:/2009/10/16/stephen-fry-on-that-jan-moir-creature-7184203/ajnspencer2009-10-16T21:24:19+02:002009-10-16T21:24:19+02:00 <blockquote><p>"I gather a repulsive nobody writing in a paper no one of any decency would be seen dead with has written something loathsome and inhumane."</p></blockquote> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/10/16/stephen-fry-on-that-jan-moir-creature-7184203/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-10-16:/2009/10/16/blogging-pairs-7181461/ajnspencer2009-10-16T14:39:01+02:002009-10-16T14:39:51+02:00 <p>By that I don't mean Landers and Scooby or me and Subs, I mean that types of bloggers often have a 'paired' blogger type, either a complimentary one or one that is directly opposing.</p> <p>It has to be said most of these are the extreme ends of the spectrum and most are written without anyone specific in mind, to be honest most people are probably a collection of a few bits of a few types.</p> <p><br> <strong>The Over Sharer</strong> - This person has never had an unblogged thought, even if all around them wish they had.</p> <p>Whether it's a detailed description of their latest sexual conquest, a photograph of the vomit produced by their latest illness or an entire 15 paragraph entry dedicated to their lunch of ham sandwiches this person wants their life to be detailed in full so that in the future the most comprehensive biography ever can be written.</p> <p>You know absolutely everything about that person from their musical tastes to their allergies, from their workplace to their favourite position for the supine samba.</p> <p>This may well come to a head with a post containing something so far over the line of too much information that the rest of their friends have to agree on a Designated Reader, who is forced to read their posts then pass on a sanitised version to everyone else.</p> <p class="center">---</p> <p><strong>The Under Sharer</strong> - This person is the blogging equivalent of a ninja, you don't know their birthday, their job or their name.</p> <p>It may even get to the extreme you don't even know their sex, as opposed to the over sharer who leaves most readers in no doubt about their sex.</p> <p>The under sharer is a mysterious type who stays on friends lists because they often come out of hiding and post excellent, if impersonal, comments on posts and very occasionally posts themselves, normally about a neutral subject, just in case you glean the slightest information about their political or moral leanings.</p> <p>It's sometimes tricky to work out which of these pairs is worse, a friend you know nothing about, or a friend you know EVERYTHING about... Possibly with pictures...<br> <br> <strong>The Drama King/Queen</strong> - Soap operas have nothing on this person, every issue, every problem they may have in life is magnified to become something worthy of at least a made-for-tv movie.</p> <p>The workplace is a world of stress and overwork where everyone from the Managing Director down to the guy who delivers the water hates them and wants them to fail. They have nothing to wear, nowhere to go while wearing it and nobody to go with them to the places they can't go while wearing the clothes they don't have.</p> <p>God forbid a relationship is involved because then the blog will become a single person Dear Diedre column...</p> <p>He hasn't bought me flowers - he hates me! She says she's washing her hair tonight - am I dumped?! He's too clingy! She's too distant!</p> <p>This is the type of person who needs the attention and if everything is going brilliantly in their life... Panic, something must be going on they don't know about! They feed on attention like a flower feeds on sunlight, only without the warmth and the pretty ending...</p> <p class="center">---</p> <p><strong>The Negotiator</strong> - This is a person who has intimate knowledge of the words "don't worry" and the phrase "really, it'll be ok."</p> <p>For a Negotiator no problem can't be solved with a little logic, some common sense and the right word in the right place.</p> <p>If something goes off the rails (normally to or for Drama Royalty) then while they're flipping out the Negotiator will be searching Google for an answer, chatting to an injured party about conciliation or, in extreme cases, doing the Drama Royalty's work for them.</p> <p>In mafia movies they're the Cleaner that smooths over a crime scene, they're the Mr Spock of the blogging world, the one who doesn't think about the problem as much as the solution.</p> <p>A good Negotiator can even learn to foresee Drama Royalty attacks and will plan for them, showing a prescience akin to dogs hiding under the bed when bad weather is coming.</p> <p>The best any blog can hope for is a good and competent pair of Drama Royalty and Negotiator, if both are present and correct the least hassle can be created with the most amount of entertainment.<br> <br> <strong>The Conspiracy Theorist</strong> - No matter how natural a disaster or how accidental an incident they'll find someone at fault, normally a religious group or government.</p> <p>They're the ones that believe the Twin Towers was planned by Dick Cheyney, they think Hurricane Katrina was a Zionist plot and the price of cheese is all down to the Illuminati and their connections to the dairy industry.</p> <p>Nothing can happen in the Conspiracy Theorist's world without the release of logic so twisted it could be used to uncork a bottle of wine.</p> <p>Any connection, no matter how small, will be crowbarred in to reinforce the Theorists plan and any media stories pointing out it was an accident or a force of nature will be spurned as media propaganda.</p> <p>The Theorist knows only he is privy to the REAL world, he's the only one who understands what really happened...</p> <p class="center">---</p> <p><strong>The Realist</strong> - This blogger is the natural enemy of the Conspiracy Theorist.</p> <p>Where the Conspiracy Theorist sees hidden daggers, the Realist sees bad luck. </p> <p>The realist thinks accidents happen, that bad things happen to good people and that most politicians couldn't spell Machiavellian let alone be it.</p> <p>The Realist's motto for life is "shit happens".</p> <p>This obviously causes friction between the two sides, mostly from the Theorist as the Realist doesn't want everyone to believe his version of events, the Theorist NEEDS that to happen, being right is his lifeblood.<br> <br> <strong>The Moaner</strong> - This is a strange beast, the blogging equivalent of someone who despises drinking wine so gulps down a bottle of Lambrusco every night just so they can tell everyone how awful it is.</p> <p>There's a touch of the masochist in the moaner, a touch of the attention seeker and a touch of the Drama Royalty.</p> <p>Every other post from the Moaner will be a complaint about another blogger or, more often, the blog site itself that their journal is hosted on.</p> <p>This person has an inexplicable need to tell the world how bad the blogsite is they're on, while never actually thinking it might be best to simply switch sites and use a different one...</p> <p>Suffice to say the Moaner will tell everyone it's because they fear the new site will be just as bad, whereas actually it's probably because they worry the new site will be perfect and problem free, thereby removing their entire blogging repertoire.</p> <p>Blame for the site's failings are normally placed at the feet of the other bloggers or the support team, and should it eventually be proven it was the Moaner's own fault something went wrong... that simply starts a new line of complaint, one that berates the site's coders for allowing them to make the mistake in the first place.</p> <p>The moaner exudes an aura of dislike for everything around them and will always be shocked if others don't see the myriad of problems they can see.</p> <p class="center">---</p> <p><strong>The Plugger</strong> - This is the opposite of the Moaner and their natural enemy.</p> <p>Little can be said about the plugger as they're usually part-timing it from their usual blogging career of Negotiator or Realist.</p> <p>They're the ones that will tell the Moaner what's gone wrong and, often, what the Moaner did to cause it.</p> <p>They're the ones that point out nothing is foolproof and errors happen in nearly all websites, in fact nearly everything involved with computers.</p> <p>They're the ones that point out the team are probably doing their best and want us all to have a good blogging experience, they actually don't hate us.</p> <p>They're the ones the Moaner HATES with a passion normally reserved for double glazing salesmen who knock on the door just milliseconds before a frantic bout of horizontal hoopla reaches its climax.<br> <br> <strong>The Know-It-All</strong> - This blogger has been there, seen that and got the tshirt. Even if they're new to a specific site they'll have "previous experience" of blogging, in the same way a burglar might have 4 other cases to take into consideration.</p> <p>The Know-It-All understands exactly how everything works and what should be put into a blog.</p> <p>They'll come down hard on anyone they feel is "doing it wrong" and will explain to all and sundry how to do whatever it is they either can't do, or never knew they wanted to.</p> <p>The Know-It-All will, if accused, become a sad martyr, unhappy that their hope of "simply trying to help" has gone amiss, thanks to what will soon become apparent is the sheer ungratefulness of the rest of the community and will post many apologetic posts telling the world they are so very sorry for wanting to help and they don't know why anyone would give them a bad motive...</p> <p>The Know-It-All is the man in the pub that tells you how to break the ineffable code of the fruit machine then wastes all your money because next time "it'll be the jackpot, it always is on the 43rd spin... or maybe 44th..."</p> <p class="center">---</p> <p><strong>The Helper</strong> - There are few differences between the Know-It-All and the helper.</p> <p>The first difference is that where the Know-It-All wants everyone to know how smart they are, the Helper wants everyone else to BE as smart as they are.</p> <p>The second difference is a refusal of help normally is met with causal response and a lack of guilt tripping posts.</p> <p>The final and biggest difference is that the Know-It-All tells everyone what they want them to know. The Helper tells people what they NEED to know.<br> <br> <strong>The Stalker</strong> - This blogger connects themselves to another like a limpet, or possibly more precisely, a leech.</p> <p>Whether it's through attraction, anger or admiration this person will cling to the other in a way that would put velcro to shame, proving as hard to get rid of as a red wine stain on a cream dress.</p> <p>Wherever their target blogs, they'll be there, wherever they comment, they'll be there, they'll write entire blogs dedicated to that person and generally make themselves a pest until either that person gives up and leaves or has enough and simply learns to ignore them.</p> <p>This won't often stop the stalker however, especially if they're then backed up by the last of our blogging stereotypes, the Troll.</p> <p class="center">---</p> <p><strong>The Troll</strong> - Where the Stalker is lonely and often socially inept, the Troll is simply a sociopath.</p> <p>They will hang around the edges of community like rats around a cheese store, and just like rats will never move in, but simply dart in once or twice to feed before running away again.</p> <p>The Troll feeds on a feeling of disharmony and loves to help it grow, a little comment here, a post there, a dark PM behind the scenes or an open challenge, never properly fertilising the tree of dischord, simply pruning it like a careful bonsai artist.</p> <p>They'll often have seemingly honest motives, backing up another blogger for example (usually a Stalker) or wanting to see for 'psychological interest'.</p> <p>This is always, but always, a smokescreen for the real reason. Trolls are people who find it hard to be sociable in real life, Trolls are the sort of child who broke something simply to see how it looked damaged, and normally how much sorrow it caused the person who actually OWNED the item the Troll broke.</p> <p>Trolls are rarely found dirtying the water in their own pool, preferring to leave that as a seemingly normal blog for the unwary to trip into. Instead they like to sow their misery for other people, feeding off the general feeling of unhappiness and anger at the Troll.</p> <p>The only time a Troll will show some form of compassion or social behaviour is when they find a Stalker.</p> <p>To an accomplished Troll a Stalker is like a fighting dog, loved not for anything about itself apart from the chaos it can cause when sent to attack others.</p> <p>A Troll will feed a stalker simply to see it bite others, because they know a good weapon when they see one and they know how to use it to create the worst outcome for everyone else around them.</p> <p>The best anyone can ever hope for if a Stalker meets a Troll is that ignoring them will make them lose their antisocial power.</p> <p><br> There are a couple more blogging types that don't pair up such as:</p> <p><strong>The Emo</strong> - The blogging world is against them, nobody understands them, they might as well not be here... The Emo is a combination of Drama Royalty and Moaner with a soupçon more attention seeking and sometimes, in a worst case scenario, Stalker.</p> <p><strong>The Reviewer</strong> - Anyone can write reviews on movies, music or TV, only a Reviewer brooks no argument. If they hate something, so should everyone else. If they love something then there'll be Hell to pay if it's Amazon ranking doesn't fly up to the rafters. </p> <p>The Reviewer is part Know-It-All with a splash of Conspiracy Theorist as there will normally be reasons such as media propaganda or a plot between recording studios as to why their choice didn't sweep the awards boards.</p> <p></p> <p>As I said, the majority of these have no specific basis in real bloggers, especially anyone on my friends list. I think probably most of us are an amalgam of good and bad factors with maybe one primary one that comes to the fore.</p> <p>The majority of these traits are harmless and all of them can be kept in check with two simple rules.</p> <p>1) Everyone can blog what they like, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, don't like it? Click a different blog.</p> <p>2) Do not, under any circumstance, feed the Trolls. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/10/16/blogging-pairs-7181461/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-10-16:/2009/10/16/blogger-s-pledge-7179736/ajnspencer2009-10-16T09:36:14+02:002009-10-16T09:36:14+02:00 <p>My name is Andy and I will no longer tolerate online stalkers or trolls.</p> <p>I will not feed their fire by responding to their comments or posts except in three ways:</p> <p> 1. I will choose to delete their offending comment if I can<br> 2. I will ignore their comments/posts on another blog<br> 3. And then, I will move on.</p> <p>I will not give them blogging space or another thought for there are many other people here that deserve my energy and attention.</p> <p>May this blogging community regain its blogging spirit and take back this community from stalkers and claim it as their own.</p> <p>If you believe this as well, then copy and post this on your blog with your user name.</p> <p>That is all.</p> <p>Original idea from <a href="http://rainbowsnbutterflies.blog.co.uk/2009/10/15/the-blogger-s-pledge-7178168/"><strong>Malakeas</strong></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/10/16/blogger-s-pledge-7179736/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-10-15:/2009/10/15/will-someone-get-that-girl-a-burger-7177008/ajnspencer2009-10-15T20:04:29+02:002009-10-15T20:04:29+02:00 <p>Miranda Kerr, Orlando Bloom's girlfriend...</p> <p>Why?! How is this attractive? Must be like screwing a deckchair...</p> <p class="center"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/634/4006634_6eb59d5b39_m.jpeg" alt="Miranda Kerr photoshoot at Museum of Contemporary Art in Sydney"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/10/15/will-someone-get-that-girl-a-burger-7177008/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-10-15:/2009/10/15/from-shitmydadsays-7175478/ajnspencer2009-10-15T15:52:59+02:002009-10-15T15:52:59+02:00 <blockquote><p>"That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them."</p></blockquote> <p>More <a href="http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays"><strong>HERE</strong></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/10/15/from-shitmydadsays-7175478/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-10-15:/2009/10/15/i-enjoy-democracy-just-not-here-7173786/ajnspencer2009-10-15T11:20:14+02:002009-10-15T11:20:14+02:00 <p>I've just finished reading the latest Terry Pratchett novel (yes Nick, I succumbed!) and wonderfully it had the Patrician in it.</p> <p>He leads by a democracy that allows anyone to vote unless disqualified by reasons of age, insanity or of not being the Patrician.</p> <p>Or as he puts it, the one man, one vote system. He's the man, he has the vote.</p> <p>Well, welcome to my blog. It's a tyranny.</p> <p>Don't get me wrong, if you're not on my friends list you will, pretty much every time, be welcomed with open arms.</p> <p>If, however, you're a blithering idiot then you wont be.</p> <p>This is why I've regularly deleted comments in moderation from one of the users on here whose blog and comments are the blogging equivalent of chocolate teapots.</p> <p>Suffice to say only one comment in the last 10 on his blog was from anyone but a spammer.</p> <p>Initially I wondered if that was why I had a comment on my profile picture this morning eloquently asking "what's your fecking problem", I wondered if it was asking me why I never passed his comments through moderation.</p> <p>Then I had a look around and realised that "what's your fecking problem" was simply his latest stunted attempt at communication, parroting it as a comment wherever he goes like those little black pellets that turn up wherever rabbits are found.</p> <p>So, you know who you are and the message is simple.</p> <p>The landlord reserves the right not to serve anyone he wishes. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/10/15/i-enjoy-democracy-just-not-here-7173786/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-10-14:/2009/10/14/sinner-7171075/ajnspencer2009-10-14T22:31:52+02:002009-10-14T22:31:52+02:00 Greed: Medium   Gluttony: Medium   Wrath: Very Low   Sloth: Medium   Envy: Very Low   Lust: Medium   Pride: Very Low   <br><br> <a href="http://www.4degreez.com/misc/seven_deadly_sins.html">Discover Your Sins - Click Here</a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/10/14/sinner-7171075/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-10-14:/2009/10/14/spam-blogs-7167000/ajnspencer2009-10-14T11:50:13+02:002009-10-14T11:50:13+02:00 <p>...what makes them?</p> <p>How do we decide what is spam and what isn't?</p> <p>Frequently I've been thinking about starting a blog for work that's separate from this one.</p> <p>Have a daily picture post, talk about jobs, post the more professional side of my photos rather than just pretty ones.</p> <p>The problem is... am I then falling to the dark side of a spam blog? I hate those linkfarm blogs and blogs about refinancing your loans and all that crap.</p> <p>Wouldn't this be exactly the same though?</p> <p>And that's all before the headache of working out where to go to host it... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/10/14/spam-blogs-7167000/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-10-13:/2009/10/13/good-grief-contains-the-c-word-7160271/ajnspencer2009-10-13T13:38:41+02:002009-10-13T13:38:41+02:00 <p>So...</p> <p>A decision was made to get some Christmas stuff.</p> <p>Some new decorations, a new tree and a couple of bits and bobs. One of these was ordered online and delivered today in this (pint glass for size comparison...) As you can see, it's a BIG box.</p> <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/493/3998493_72d07be533_m.jpeg" alt="boxcomparison"></p> <p>Inside however... was this, huddled on the top of a mass of packing paper like a 6 month old child in the middle of a King Size bed.</p> <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/494/3998494_f6d8adf766_m.jpeg" alt="inthebox"></p> <p>Yep, that entire box was to transport a small suction cup that attacked wreathes etc to a PVC front door.</p> <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/495/3998495_887d77dccb_m.jpeg" alt="outthebox"></p> <p>I reckon the ratio was probably this:</p> <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/496/3998496_4518e0faa8_m.jpeg" alt="ratio"></p> <p>How silly is that really? It's not like the item was breakable, it's a rubber suction cup for God's sake, they could have stuck the ruddy thing in a jiffy bag!</p> <p>Now I have to brave th tip to get rid of the cardboard and paper <img src="/img/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/10/13/good-grief-contains-the-c-word-7160271/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-10-12:/2009/10/12/i-m-feeling-haloweeney-7157068/ajnspencer2009-10-12T23:30:02+02:002009-10-12T23:30:02+02:00 <p>...so sue me. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/10/12/i-m-feeling-haloweeney-7157068/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:sportsfan.blog.co.uk,2009-10-12:/2009/10/12/i-think-subs-7155845/ajnspencer2009-10-12T19:57:33+02:002009-10-12T19:57:33+02:00 <p>Sent one in to Texts From Last Night...</p> <blockquote><p>(518): you're out of your mind<br> (518): you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear<br> (518): it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence </p></blockquote> <p> <small> <a href="http://sportsfan.blog.co.uk/2009/10/12/i-think-subs-7155845/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>